I'll address the point of the thread before moving onto my annoying habit of debating. I just recalled someone who did kill themselves in the abdl. From Daily Diapers they have Restless Fox's Depression Discussion which came about after one of their members committed suicide. Whether it was over their abdlness or not I'm not sure. But I can imagine that some people feel burdened by this especially if it is bigger part of their lives than it is of mine. It would be an interesting research project to find if the community has higher rates of depression but it would be very inaccurate due to people who care about it reply to polls and people who aren't interested don't. So the results will be skewed towards it being high levels of depression when it might not.
True Brabbit. You may notice I love to debate. It's one of my personal failings when addressing my areas of interest. I debate for the sake of debating. Myself and my brother have done it all our lives and before we had the internet we got mum to drive us to the library to settle arguments because we never settled for less than researched statistics. And I like that you question the resource process. For the doctors visits that data would have been easy and accurate to get the data but the other data does rely on emotional peoples anecdotal evidence so, depending on the researcher, it could be skewed. I tend to find statistics across the board of developed countries mental health charities is very similar though. You'd also help people who dedicated their free time to preventing suicide would research thoroughly before posting things on websites designed to help people. But I can't answer where they came from.
With everything I say there's always an overriding thing. If suicide was easy to prevent it wouldn't be a major killer. It is true, that you may analyse things, do your best and miss someone. The important thing is that you know that, no matter what, it isn't your fault. But my issue was people giving out information as fact that wasn't true. Please note, the facts that he gave out were things I used to believe when I was 17/18. I used to believe that people who talked about suicide weren't going to do it. I also believed that people with depression just had to act happy and eventually they would be. When informing someone on important topics such as this it's important to give the most accurate information for the time as spreading misconceptions is so easy to do. There are so many common misconceptions that people believe as truth because they hear it enough.
For example.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA-fc3D09ZY
My favourite is the 10% of your brain thing. The movie "Lucy" which came out in the last year or so is completely based on this untruth. And .. hehe... she does a wee in her pants.
As to concentrating on people who show signs of suicidal behaviour. Thing is, mental health is one of the most underfunded areas of medicine. Other areas of health which are less fatal and less crippling get a lot more funding. So, because services are under resourced, it's more efficient for medical professionals to target the people who show the more obvious signs. Just like with any illness, it's unlikely you'll see something if there are no symptoms. Note: Symptoms include increased risk taking behaviour so someone saying "i'm going to kill myself" isn't the only way people identify that someone is going to attempt suicide. The biggest car insurer in Australia, RAC, believes that a large proportion of crashes in young people are linked to mental illness as the people involved seem to take increasingly large risks until they crash and die. So you are completely right in that the people who say they want to die aren't the only people that need to be focused on.
Most of the ideas I preach (and yes, I tend to preach I think...) is that we aren't (generally) medical professionals so what all we can do is first aid and then support our sick friends and family. To do the first one what we can do is have some knowledge of the symptoms of mental illness and suicide so we are more likely to see something. Just like the boys parents, they didn't have the knowledge so they missed a very obvious sign.
Think of it in terms of first aid but more likely to help someone. No-one expects that they will have to save a child from drowning but it's important to know it on the off chance you do need it. The same goes for emotional first aid except you are more likely to use it. In Australia, 1 in 5 people will report experiencing a mental illness in the course of a year. If you have some knowledge of the signs of depression and suicide there could be a small chance you might be one of the people that help a friend to get real help before depression really sets in. I didn't know I had depression for over a year. It wasn't until I went to the emotional first aid training where I went "Wow, that fits me like a glove and I've been showing so many of the signs." (Even though I knew the symptoms superficially) Sure, emotional first aid isn't as heroic looking as normal first aid where you give someone mouth to mouth and they spring back to life but it is just as important and life changing. You might just see a friend has stopped hanging out with friends, or is drinking alcohol a lot at home by themselves (me), or is snapping at people a lot. But they may still have that smile plastered on their face. You might say "Hey mate. You seem to stay at home a lot which is unlike you. Are you alright?" The reply, especially from men, is usually, "Yeah. I'm alright." Whether it's fake or they may just be doing a lot of work and be fine. But a question like that can be all a friend needs to talk about something important.
And what is going on in their life is not always an indicator of suicide so can't really be used to identify things. I have a fantastic life. I have loving parents, I had a good job, I was educated well, I have the best brother, decent friends, I volunteer in meaningful things, I am physically healthy, I was extremely fit and I'm a really good person and am told so often. However, I still developed depression. Lots of the time people can't understand why someone is suicidal because, by all outward standards, they should be happy. Depression is a type of minor brain damage which is why it is treated physically with medication. Even therapy is prompting brain chemicals to help the brain and to realign the pathways of the brain. Vitamin D deficiency is known to increase the risk of depression. But most importantly of all, there is the all important genetic links that gives people a higher risk of depression which is the case with my family.
Finally, the reason I push this so much is because of something I am forced to taught kids in protective behaviours (a program for preventing the abuse of children). We get them to write down 5 people they trust to help them. If something is going bad in their life and they need help they tell one of them. We don't tell them this but, unfortunately, people don't often listen to each other even when we say loud and clear that we need help. So we tell the kids if the first person doesn't listen and help, go to the next person, then the next. Keep telling people until someone believes you no matter how many times you have to say it. We are actually moving to having letters that we write to these five people to tell them their responsibility as a child's safety network. It's not nice, but people who seek help are often not taken seriously due to the misconception that was mentioned earlier in the thread.
This rant is very all over the place and I can imagine hard to read. Sorry about that. But I'll leave you with someone that is much better with words who I have a giant man crush. Canadian neck beard poet, Shane Koyczan. This is an excerpt from one of his many brilliant poems. Instructions for a Bad Day. The line that I have written on a piece of card for the protective behaviours program "If you find no one is listening, be loud."
If you are having a good day, be considerate.
A simple smile could be the first-aid kit that someone has been looking for.
If you believe with absolute honesty that you are doing everything you can - do more.
There will be bad days, Times when the world weighs on you for so long it leaves you looking for an easy way out.
There will be moments when the drought of joy seems unending.
Instances spent pretending that everything is alright when it clearly is not.
Check your blind spot.
See that love is still there
Be patient.
Every nightmare has a beginning, but every bad day has an end.
Ignore what others have called you.
I am calling you friend.
Make us comprehend the urgency of your crisis.
Silence left to its own devices, breed's silence.
So speak and be heard.
One word after the next, express yourself and put your life in the context
If you find that no one is listening, be loud.
Make noise.
Stand in poise and be open.
Hope in these situations is not enough and you will need someone to lean on.
In the unlikely event that you have no one, look again.
Everyone is blessed with the ability to listen.
The deaf will hear you with their eyes.
The blind will see you with their hands.
Let your heart fill their news-stands
Let them read all about it.
Admit to the bad days, the impossible nights.
Listen to the insights of those who have been there, but come back.
They will tell you; you can stack misery, you can pack disappear you can even wear your sorrow – but come tomorrow you must change your clothes.
Or you can watch the video here which Shane made with a school after a spout of suicides. (People who experience a suicide are 5 times more likely to kill themselves than someone who hasn't)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnFAGgKB-wA
But respect for going to a university website instead of wikipedia. Just unfortunate the author didn't get checked before releasing misleading information.
