Now, I wouldn't say anything is wrong with me, and think it might have to do with my cub side being a bit more dominant in me, but I have negative views on masturbation and sex. I hate both. I've never had the later, but the idea grosses me out (except when I am turned on, and then it goes away immediately). I have to do the former because otherwise I would have wet dreams and I hate those even more. Masturbation doesn't do anything for me, it purges any sexual desire I may randomly get for a few days, and only feels good for like ten seconds, then I feel gross, regretful, and just bad. So, I try to avoid it, but I do allow myself to fall to these urges I hate.
Oh yeah, I really really hate these feelings. They don't make me feel good, and I'd be a lot happier if I woke up tomorrow never having any sexual desire, and no more erections. I feel like that would make me happy. Also, unlike like 99% of guys, I hate the size of my junk. For my body proportions, I find it being too big, and can be an issue if padded or changed. So, my brother has a way, (a safe way) to reduce size involving chastity. So, that will be soon for me. I know that this isn't normal for someone my age, that I shouldn't have any hate towards this or I should go to a therapist, but they won't help. These thoughts occur in my head, and I know it's what I am suppose to do. Now, I don't know if chastity will last, but really, it's the only way I can see to train my brain from having these awful desires. Granted, I would still need to well, "drain" the fluid monthly or so to stay healthy, but I feel like I need to do this.
I know this was a novel and didn't mean to ramble. I just type as the thoughts enter my mind. Not sure why I posted this, maybe to hear other's opinions maybe? I don't know.