So i've been lurking DL forums for a long time, probably since I was 12 years old(now 21) when I found out how much diapers turned me on sexually and came inside one for the first time. My fetish is always off and on and I don't really enjoy the full time babying aspect or anything like that. I purely enjoy diapers because they turn me on so much and immediately start masturbating as soon as I get one on and then take it off.
I have one more fetish that I normally fantasize about which is females in control and forced feminization. I guess that and diapers go hand in hand to me while masturbating. I'm not gender confused and i'm very attracted to females but for some reason the clothing just turns me on so much.
I only masturbate in diapers at least 3 times a day and i'm super worried that it's gonna come to the point where I won't even desire to have regular sex without diapers being involved in some way and I don't think i'd have the nerve to tell my future partner about this because i'm seriously disturbed by how much I like it. Makes me wanna die sometimes, but I seriously don't wanna stop masturbating, it clears my head and makes me feel really good. I've never even tried doing it without a diaper but before I started masturbating on a regular basis the thought of a blowjob or normal sex seemed incredible to me... now after about a month of masturbating in diapers not so much.