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Thread: Worried about dating

  1. #1

    Default Worried about dating

    Hi guys/gals I have a very real worry that people I date aren't going to understand the lifestyle I would like to follow when I have the money. Is there any advice to either find people who are very understanding or find other people who are into diapers? I know there are sites where you can connect but those worry me to an extent. I don't currently have a license but am planning on getting one this summer when the roads clear up. Thanks any help/advice is appreciated. Oh I also attend an online school so I don't see many girls so that's another issue :/. I've only ever dated one girl and she turned out to be fairly mean. I have almost a phobia where I hate social settings with to many people I just can't stand it. Also I have chronic pain which I understand is a really hard thing for people to understand as well. When I was in 10th grade a teacher actually told me she believed I was faking my pain to miss school. So part of it is that I'm worried about something like that happening because I can't currently hold a job but am hoping to actually try to get a job this summer as well.

  2. #2
    MarchinBunny

    Default

    To be honest, I don't think there is anyway to do it in an easier manner. You could use a dating site, but that poses it's own problems, especially when you meet other people. I always recommend you bring a friend along on your first meeting with anyone from the net. Also meet in a public place.

    Now if you are meeting people in real life, the only way I believe you will be able to tell if they are ok with it, is if you talk to them about it. I wouldn't necessarily mention it on the first few meetings, but I would mention it when the two of you think you want to actually start dating. AKA when the relationship starts to get serious. Waiting to long can actually harm the relationship. Telling them to soon, can make them make to quick of a judgement on you.

    Actually finding another partner that is into diapers is highly unlikely unless you meet them through the net.

    You most certainly will run into those who will not understand, it's a part of the dating process. This doesn't just apply to being an *B/DL. It applies to pretty much anything that you do. Even being a gamer can be hard for some to understand. I think that is the purpose of dating though. It's to get to know each other and learn about each other's strength and weaknesses. To learn if such a relationship is even compatible.

    At least those are my thoughts on the matter.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by brabbit1987 View Post
    To be honest, I don't think there is anyway to do it in an easier manner. You could use a dating site, but that poses it's own problems, especially when you meet other people. I always recommend you bring a friend along on your first meeting with anyone from the net. Also meet in a public place.

    Now if you are meeting people in real life, the only way I believe you will be able to tell if they are ok with it, is if you talk to them about it. I wouldn't necessarily mention it on the first few meetings, but I would mention it when the two of you think you want to actually start dating. AKA when the relationship starts to get serious. Waiting to long can actually harm the relationship. Telling them to soon, can make them make to quick of a judgement on you.

    Actually finding another partner that is into diapers is highly unlikely unless you meet them through the net.

    You most certainly will run into those who will not understand, it's a part of the dating process. This doesn't just apply to being an *B/DL. It applies to pretty much anything that you do. Even being a gamer can be hard for some to understand. I think that is the purpose of dating though. It's to get to know each other and learn about each other's strength and weaknesses. To learn if such a relationship is even compatible.

    At least those are my thoughts on the matter.
    Thanks this actually helped me quite a bit!

  4. #4
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by maxipoo View Post
    Thanks this actually helped me quite a bit!

    No problem =^.^=
    Glad I could help.

  5. #5

    Default

    I think, from reading your post, that you might have some major self esteem problems. You've posted all these obstacles to dating, and none of your good points!

    All of the things you've talked about (not being able to drive, chronic pain, ABDL, not being able to meet girls) are not problems in themselves. You just need to get yourself out there and see what happens. No one will be interested in you if you only talk about how terrible you are - sell yourself!!

    In terms of finding someone that's accepting - my husband did. Here I am being supportive in an ABDL forum and I'm not even interested in it! So it definitely is possible, but equally you will likely meet people that don't understand, and that's ok too. They say you have to kiss a thousand frogs before you find your prince!

  6. #6

    Default

    My best friend suffers from chronic pain and there was a bit of research I found that was very interesting that may help explain how you think. Chronic pain sufferers are less likely to take risks. Your brain actually physically changes and moves away from the risk taking behaviours that are important to try new things. Such as putting yourself out there for dating.

    I've know two people who have understanding partners. It's not unheard of and I'd think having the level of trust to talk to someone about it (after having known someone for long enough) would only strengthen a relationship. It's a risk though but dating is taking risks.

    Saying that, I feel the same as you and haven't broken free from my nervousness. On top of it I'm asexual so it's hard to find someone who isn't interested in sex. (As much as girls online profiles say "If you only want sex! Go away!") But I realise it's more me being afraid to take risks with people than there not being people who would understand me.

  7. #7

    Default

    I think that the starting place is to just get out there and socialize a bit, looking for someone to date. The more people you meet and date, the greater likelihood you'll meet someone who is opened to alternative lifestyles. In my case, I knew the girl I was dating was a free spirit. We're both children of the 60s. During college, I was a member of UNDO and my wife was a member of the SDS. This was during the period of social rebellion, demonstrating against the Vietnam war and demonstrating for civil rights.

    It was only years later that I revealed my darkest, most hidden secret. She was very accepting, but then I knew she was a free thinker, and that's the kind of person you're looking for. Believe me, they're out there, but you can't find them if you don't look and have long conversations.

  8. #8

    Default

    Hey Maxi!

    I hate to burst your bubble, but I have to agree with talula. you should work on your self esteem a bit before you jump into the "dating pool". Work on meeting people and making friends. It will help you get over your social anxiety, and of course make a few new friends in the process :-) just make sure you don't fall into the nice guy trap of making friends with someone in the hopes you will date later .

    Eventually you will meet an attractive friend of a friend, or even a stranger, and because you are comfortable talking to people, you might hit it off. THEN worry about bringing up diapers :-)

  9. #9

    Default

    I'm working on getting into a relationship right now actually (so far, so good), and I just let him know up front that I'm really kinky and "will try anything once." Since that didn't scare him off, I think I'll be in the clear. My general advice on it would be not to bring it up, especially out of the blue. If that sort of thing comes up in conversation, then go for it; for example, he was joking about tying me up when I said it. Also, make sure you both like each other and know each other at least a little bit before saying anything.

    Trust me, if you find the right person, or even a good person, chances are that they're not going to care, as long as you've established a solid relationship.

  10. #10

    Default

    I just wanted to say thank you all I learned a lot reading these posts.

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