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Thread: meeting new friends in the AB/DL world

  1. #1

    Default meeting new friends in the AB/DL world

    normally I don't go out meeting people I meet online for safety reasons but this time I mead a exception. The AB life stile can be a lonely one. Anyway I chat with this guy and we found out we lived closed to each other. so we started have lunch on the weekends. long store short we became good friends. so have any of you meet a AB/DL friend in the real world?

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by matt1989 View Post
    normally I don't go out meeting people I meet online for safety reasons but this time I mead a exception. The AB life stile can be a lonely one. Anyway I chat with this guy and we found out we lived closed to each other. so we started have lunch on the weekends. long store short we became good friends. so have any of you meet a AB/DL friend in the real world?

    That's great that the two of you have become such good friends. That's really cool that you are able to hang out.

    I've had the opportunity to meet a few other people over the years. Not many. But a few. I'm in a rural area in a sparsely populated state, where AB/DL's are pretty spread out, making meeting each other difficult. There are a couple of others with-in about a two hour drive from me, that I'm hoping we can start being able to meet / hang out a couple times a year. I've got another friend that live about 3 hours away, that I've been able to meet and hang out with several times. We're even going to be leaving for a con next month, and will be spending about 5 or 6 days hanging out.



    Since you mentioned meeting people irl, some important Safety tips should be noted, that I've posted before, this isn't directed at you, but others that might be new:


    Humans are social creatures by nature. We all are hoping to find others that share similar interests as ourselves.

    Advise I can give, are the basic common sense ones when making new friends, or when meeting people for the first time.

    Start conversations with people. Find others from your area, state, geographic region, etc.; and send them a message. Everyone was the new guy at some point. Ask questions, get to know people. You'll get a good sense of people from messaging with them.

    Get to know people. Find people with similar interests. You won't be able to make anything work, if you only have diapers to talk about. (How boring would that be?)

    You'll start some really cool conversations. I've talked with many different people from all over the world on this site. Most, I won't ever be able to meet in real life. Due to simply being too far away from them.

    Use the text chat on here, to get to have conversations with others. Create a Skype account that you are comfortable with, giving out online. Voice chats really help to actually being able to talk to people, and get to know them, in the safety and security of you own home

    At some point, you'll find someone that lives relatively close to you. You'll discover that you have lots of things in common. And maybe you'll decide that you want to meet in real life. Be safe. When meeting, meet in a public place. Somewhere where there is a lot of people around. If you get a bad vibe from the person, walk away, and get help.

    You can even bring a vanilla friend along. You don't have to let them know anything. Just tell the person that you're meeting, that you're pretty worried about meeting someone in real life, and you'll be bringing a friend along, and to please not talk about diapers. You can make up a story, that you're going to go see an old friend. If you've talked enough before hand, you'll both have some pretty good knowledge of each other, where conversations wouldn't be too bad.

    Maybe sitting at a restaurant, trying to have a conversation with a new person isn't your thing. You might try meeting somewhere, where there is actives for you to do, to keep yourselves both occupied. Go bowling. Go to Dave and Busters, Go to an amusement park, a mall, a museum, or anything else where you can have other things to distract and help keep conversations going, since you don't have to simply focus on each other.

    Keep in contact with someone. Let them know that you're going to be going somewhere, and you'd like them to keep in touch with you. Once again, you can make up a story: "Hey mike, can you call and check up with me every thirty minutes or so. I'm going to be going to visit an old friend. He's had some problems, and I just want to make sure that I'm safe. If I don't answer, please call for help for me."

    I've been on both ends when meeting someone new. I've been the one that was REALLY worried, and I've met people that were REALLY worried about me. I took no offense when someone was constantly on their phone checking in with someone else. I took no offense when meeting another person and they brought a friend along. I agreed to pretend to be an old friend, and diapers weren't mentioned. I have also been the one that brought the friend, and was calling and checking in with others.

    If they're a good person, and truly mean you no harm, they'll understand; and won't be offended by it. They might even chuckle about it later, "You were worried about little 'ol me?"

  3. #3

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    all great points. Like I said This was my first time meeting someone online. I'm not going to lie it was exciting and scarey at the same time. I think there is no just thing as being too safe. it easy to look like a different person behind a wall of text. mattew I relay like your tips and I'm going make shore I us them next time I'm planing to meet someone from online.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by matt1989 View Post
    all great points. Like I said This was my first time meeting someone online. I'm not going to lie it was exciting and scarey at the same time. I think there is no just thing as being too safe. it easy to look like a different person behind a wall of text. mattew I relay like your tips and I'm going make shore I us them next time I'm planing to meet someone from online.
    Yep, I know the feeling. I've met 4 people irl over the years. Each time it is a exciting and yet scary experience. I'm glad you're being safe. Thanks for the kind words. The con I'm about to attend, is about to explode that number. I'm not sure I'll even be able to keep count.

    But yeah, I've tried to be very safe over the years; but I know that sometimes people might rush things and put safety aside, in an attempt to actually meet someone, where they truly know that they aren't alone.

  5. #5

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    I probably have a couple dozen ageplay associated friends that I've meet in person first, online second. At least half a dozen of those people I'm very close with, will spend weekends with, do favors for, etc. All of them I've met at munches (abv. for meet-for-lunch). So they are public, plain clothes, daylight, deli or food court meetings. Munch group regulars generally have rules or guidelines if they are well established and also help police activity and screen potentially unwanted guests.

    I will say the first time I went to the DC Littles Munch (http://www.littlesmunch.com/ for more listings than just DC) I thought I was going to pass out from being so nervous. I drove quite some distance to get there and once there about 30 people ended up showing and it made my head spin. However, I survived and the people I've met there have been a wonderful influence on me. I don't think I ventured away from the safety of munches themselves until after a year or so of talking with the same people at the munch and online.

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