what dating sites are good for diaper lovers?

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Anonimous

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what dating sites are good for diaper lovers?
 
good question lol
 
What has been stated before: hide it, show it, then see if the person is open. If they are not, move on. You would not want someone with you who does not accept you fully for who you are right? I am on a few fetish-y sites where husbands mention their wives allowing or accepting but not participating. And then there those that stay married but now there is a constant elephant in the room because the husband (99% of the time) wants to do something but the partner is not accepting of it.

I know many people have stated they have had things go both ways meaning that someone might be totally turned off at first, then be willing to participate or at least show acceptance, but then said person will leave the relationship within a week because ultimately they are not that open minded. This goes for anything considered a kink. On the other hand, some have stated they have got people who thought they were not interested to be interested. I am not thinking suggestion (although that could definitely be part of it), but rather the other person thought about it for a while, figured out it was harmless, somehow fun, and decided to join in rather than fight it).

So basically IMO do not focus in on fetish-y dating sites. Go for 'normal' sites or just go out in public and then just express yourself when you two get to be in private. Like I said before: if the person you meet is not into it, move on. It is probably better you get it out of the way ASAP and move on to someone who is open to your fetishes/lifestyle choices/etc. This means facing possibly a lot of rejection outright but you should not feel discouraged (it is very hard to not feel discouraged sometimes).

I try to think of it more like I am the person doing the job interview (I have done many for my jobs), and if someone does not fit the bill, that person does not get hired. There is no bad blood between that other person and I (although it may be very difficult to be friends after that). It is just I have my own priorities/goals/desires in life and I do not want to waste time (both mine and theirs) with someone who cannot align up. Similarly, in a business, we would never want to waste time (and money) on someone who really does not fully meet or exceed the qualifications for the job.
 
Fetlife is the closest thing. But you need to be willing to go to munches and events and meet people in person. Every female ABDL on there gets a pretty constant stream of short messages from socially inept guys so just messaging people is kinda a waste of time. There are some personals groups which might be worthwhile.
 
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MasterPython said:
Fetlife is the closest thing. But you need to be willing to go to munches and events and meet people in person.

That's what I'm unwilling to do. Any "munches" (annoying term) are bound to be filled with 99% men, with the one or two women already taken. I fail to understand how that can benefit any guy looking to meet a woman. Personally, I have no desire to meet any other guys into this. It's not appealing one bit. FetLife is useless, essentially. Strangely enough, I've only had success with Craigslist, the most maligned site. I've talked to two real women into this on the phone and met one in person just to talk, and they both responded to my ads. Neither conversation actually led to a diaper meet-up, but that's beside the point.
 
Dating sites are full of men and fake female profiles.

Going to general fetish munches rather than diaper ones at least give you a remote chance.
 
Applying the severe filter of "AB/DL-aware" straight off is a bit like sinking the ship before it reaches the open sea. Sure, you'll be able to swim ashore, but you'll be back where you started from. Better to wait until the New World is at least on the horizon, in my opinion. There again, swimming ashore is likely, but while that may leave you looking like a weirdo, the many intervening adventures have an opportunity to make up for it.

I get that there are some for whom living this stuff 24/7 feels like a requirement. For the others who see AB/DL as something less than a lifestyle, however, it's probably a good idea to keep your options open. Excluding muggles from the pool of prospective partners is a very unfortunate thing to have to do. You know -- because that's like 99.999% of humans.
 
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ExtraFluff said:
That's what I'm unwilling to do. Any "munches" (annoying term) are bound to be filled with 99% men, with the one or two women already taken. I fail to understand how that can benefit any guy looking to meet a woman. Personally, I have no desire to meet any other guys into this. It's not appealing one bit. FetLife is useless, essentially. Strangely enough, I've only had success with Craigslist, the most maligned site. I've talked to two real women into this on the phone and met one in person just to talk, and they both responded to my ads. Neither conversation actually led to a diaper meet-up, but that's beside the point.

Not necessarily. A munch (I hate the term too lol, but it is what it is I guess) I held the other day was all women except for two people.
 
I think it's important to consider a few things.

I have met very few people who have a drive to be a caretaker that comes naturally to them, and more often then not the ones I've met have been "daddy doms" focused on finding attractive women in diapers, and the idea of controlling a woman like a little girl to be sexy. (No judgement, just saying the type I see naturally interested in this tends to be limited in this way.)

Obviously this leaves a lot of be desired for most ABDL's which leaves them wanting to find places to meet people. Places full of AB/DL's are just full of people like you, people looking for that special person to diaper them and give them cuddles. I just think ABDL dating sites really are sites that are destined to fail in this regard. They are full of AB's and DL's. They are not full of caretakers.

I think it's natural and fine that a grown person just doesn't instinctual tend to have a super driven desire to diaper someone else. So I feel like looking for sites that are specifically catered to ABDL is like, honestly a really bad place to look for a match unless you are a switch looking for other switches.

What this doesn't mean is that your future partner won't be willing to do it, and won't even love it. It's just important to really get out of that comfort zone and meet some "muggles" as Cottontail put it. My significant other only knew the most base minimal thing about ABDL when I met her, and although she is not the kind of person who would have ever put "caretaker" on a dating site and still wouldn't, she loves making sure I feel like her little fairy princess. I know it's cheesy, but a relationship needs to have a lot more of a foundation then a shared kink. It needs to have a foundation that's stronger, and that's what's important to look for at first.

This doesn't mean I'm recommending getting married and then only then telling your partner too. Communicate. The moment I started feeling things were getting serious with my partner I told her, but I didn't shout it the moment we met. I didn't grill her on it the second we started trying to see if even something there. I feel like people are much more willing to accept this kinda stuff from someone they are falling in love with, then someone they are just meeting.
 
MasterPython said:
Dating sites are full of men and fake female profiles.
Going to general fetish munches rather than diaper ones at least give you a remote chance.

You are correct about the fake profiles. ABDLMatch.com creates its own fake female profiles, sends you messages from them, and makes you pay to view all messages (which I haven't done).

As for "general fetish" get-togethers, that may be more likely to produce some kind of connection, but again, it's not very appealing to be hanging out with guys into this. For me personally, it's out of my comfort zone.

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ClickyKeys said:
Not necessarily. A munch (I hate the term too lol, but it is what it is I guess) I held the other day was all women except for two people.

You said that you've held "munches" that were primarily female (and are you talking natural female or transgender?). Needless to say, this is rather surprising, as most women into ab/dl are rather closeted (or in the case of the woman I talked to recently, totally confused and shameful). I'm curious what the circumstances of the munch were -- just a general ab/dl get-together or one aimed at women. Was it on FetLife?
 
Cottontail said:
Applying the severe filter of "AB/DL-aware" straight off is a bit like sinking the ship before it reaches the open sea. Sure, you'll be able to swim ashore, but you'll be back where you started from. Better to wait until the New World is at least on the horizon, in my opinion. There again, swimming ashore is likely, but while that may leave you looking like a weirdo, the many intervening adventures have an opportunity to make up for it.

I get that there are some for whom living this stuff 24/7 feels like a requirement. For the others who see AB/DL as something less than a lifestyle, however, it's probably a good idea to keep your options open. Excluding muggles from the pool of prospective partners is a very unfortunate thing to have to do. You know -- because that's like 99.999% of humans.

Actually, based on the various population estimate threads, it's a much more optimistic ~99.9% of the population who qualify as "muggles." ;)

So, look broadly is great advice.

Also, I've been to a couple ABDL munches now and there was a reasonable ratio of men and women. I haven't figured out if I actually want to date any of them though, or just make some friends.
 
ExtraFluff said:
...bound to be filled with 99% men, with the one or two women already taken. I fail to understand how that can benefit any guy looking to meet a woman.

Just my 2 cents and I could be worng but, it can be benefiting by proving to those prople that you are not just a creeper on a pc looking to perv at pictures and pester them.

People like to talk about other people, guys do this but girls generally more so, those who are into a lifestyle (be it abdl or anything else) may well know others. By going to the munch that has only a couple of girls and meeting people, giving them a chance to know you and see that you are a real person, those 1 or 2 girls will go home and talk to their friends who may well check you out or come to the next munch and meet you, they'll then talk to their friends who talk to theirs etc. The more they talk the more you stand out when you message them or meet them, this could however be for good or bad.

It works for the guys there too, they're possibly the ones who attend more regularly so they're going to know more people and they're going to go home and talk about the new person they just met. Just as importantly here if you're on a social site and all of your friends list is girls and the only posts you respond to are girls people will look at that and think you're just there to hit on them, meeting other guys and having them as friends gives a more sociable appearance and might make you more appealing to a girl who is looking for someone.

I also agree that limiting you field of search to people who are already into abdl stuff is not a good idea, not only is that quite a small selection but each of those people will have different ideas/wants/needs from it so finding the right abdl who fits your vision is limiting that selection even further. Just look for a partner without thinking about the abdl side and if you find someone and think the time is right gently open up to them, they'll either accept it or they won't but there's a much better chance you'll meet someone you truly click with.
 
This question has been asked a number of times here, mainly I s'pose because the majority of males here are single and would like to find an accepting/participating partner.

When I do bother to reply I always recommend using a mainstream dating site but be honest in your 'introduction' about what you want. Below is a reply I gave in a thread recently regarding a POF discovery.
.

TBH it started as an experiment, I did a profile stating I was looking for a 'life partner' and as such I told all about my AB/DL kink. Saying that if the person was nt prepared to accept it then there's no point in contacting me. (see below)

As I'm looking for a long term partner I think it's only fair that I also explain something else so that no one wastes their time.

I am an occasional AB/DL Paraphilic infantilism - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism

This DOES NOT have anything to do with children!!!!!!!

I sometimes enjoy, in the privacy of my home, dressing in nappies and wetting them, I have been able to do this for years without affecting the other areas of my working and social life, I have a very good job and great relationships with all my children, and the AB/DL fetish is only a very very small (But very important) part of my life. As I said earlier it's occasional and I don't need changing every few hours of everyday! For the major part of my life I'm all man, very physical, sharing chores around the home, fiercely protective and enjoy providing for my loved ones.

Please only send me a message if you are the kind of person who would/could accept this unusual behaviour. (Cos believe me I have tried to get rid of it over the years and it keeps coming back lol)
If you still harbour maternal instincts or have previous experience in dealing with AB/DLs (there's more about than you expect judging by the online forums/message boards) you'll know that the bond between 'Mommy and baby' can be a wonderful close experience and I hope only add to a loving long term relationship.


The first time I did it, I used an image of a regular guy similar in age to myself. I got a few views but only one person, an older lady contacted me for further information. She was nice but not my type.
As the second part of the experiment I used the same words in the profile but changed the image to a much more attractive man.........and the response was amazing!
So many women contacting me saying how "brave you are" and it's great to be so "honest"
Loads wanted to meet up and were intrigued by the AB lifestyle.

It seems that if you're cute and can be a little funny/flirty online there are plenty of women who are happy to accept the lifestyle as part of an on going relationship.
 
ArchieRoni said:
Also, I've been to a couple ABDL munches now and there was a reasonable ratio of men and women.

So were these women single and looking at the get-together, or taken with playmates/caretakers already? I'll put money on the latter. A woman is not going to show up looking for a connection at such a place. If she comes, she'll come with her "daddy" or whatever.
 
The "munch" thing obviously depends a lot on the makeup of the local AB/DL demographic as well as a large element of chance. I, for example, though not looking for a mate, have been to a number of munches and meet-ups near me, and have seen precisely zero women.

So there's one data point -- for what it's worth.

As for the suggestion of using ordinary dating sites but spelling out your AB/DL thing in your profile, I half-agree. The only people for whom I would recommend that level of openness would be those for whom AB/DL is a big, lifestyle-esque thing. Like to wear and use diapers periodically, and/or get off in them? Forget it. May as well put "I like porn" or similar on your profile. There's nothing wrong with liking porn, really, except that admitting it will be an immediate turn-off to most readers. Deal with it later.

Dating is marketing, to some extent. Of course, you don't want to focus so much on the sale that you end up being accused of false advertising later, but there's a balance to be found. You have to play it smart. If diapers and being little are a huge part of who you are, then be up-front about it. If not, why lead with something that's liable to be made into far more than it is by whoever is surfing your profile.

Vomiting all of your secrets before or during your first date is a recipe for staying single.
 
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ExtraFluff said:
As for "general fetish" get-togethers, that may be more likely to produce some kind of connection, but again, it's not very appealing to be hanging out with guys into this. For me personally, it's out of my comfort zone.

I think that's part of your problem dude. If you're looking for a kinky girl, you can't be so insecure. You need charisma and presence. Girls aren't looking to be wooed into your basement over the internet/phone for casual diaper play. Statistically, they can do better. How would you date some vanilla girl? Are you confident that vanilla girls would date you how you are? You're either going to be the fun kinky dude at the fetish gathering or you're going to have to show an ABDL community that you'd be a great daddy, and I don't think you even want to be a daddy.
 
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