I joined the forum a while ago (Aug 2013) and back then I was trying to work out what was going on. I wasn't in the best of places, anxiety and depression and it was hard work. I then met a wonderful girl started dating her. As things started to get serious I pushed the DL thing to the back of my mind and tried to surpress it again like I had done for years. A couple of months into the relationship I felt like I wanted the Diapers back in my life but I was worried what would happen if she found out. I ended up getting really stressed about it and she could tell something was up so she asked me what was wrong. I ended up spewing about how I liked to wear occasionally and stuff and said its OK if you want to leave I understand, you met me on the internet and now i'm some wierdo etc. But she didn't go anywhere, she just told me to stop being silly, if thats all i was getting worked up about it isn't worth it. She told me if I felt i needed them then go buy some and do what I need to do. After a few times the "need" feeling went away and I let it pass, we assumed it was probably activated by my stress and stuff as a way of coping. But then it came back a few times, each time it would stress me and I would try hide it from her but it came out.
So fast forward about a year from that whole thing and stuff is finally sorted in my head about it all. I can finally just admit I am a DL. I'm not into AB, Regression etc I just like wearing Diapers or as us UK people say Nappies! I can't explain why, I don't even care why any more, all I know is that now everything about it has changed. I can talk about it with my girlfriend and she asks me questions and stuff and there is no wierdness about it. She knows that I like to wear often in the evenings and that I am happy to use for pee but never for No2. If we are ever in a store that sells she always asks if i want to go look etc and offers to buy if im feeling to embarrassed to go to the cashier with them.
We are planning on one day moving together and it has been discussed and doesn't even make an impact on the plans. She is not sure how she would feel with me "using" them infront of her but as far as wearing etc is concerned it doesn't matter. The main rule is if she asks can I not this evening then I respect that. We don't let it rule me or us as a couple by letting me worry about it.
After feeling trapped for years and years with these feelings and thoughts and desires I suppose you could say, I wish I could have just done something years ago. Allowing me to be me has been the best thing I have ever done, and finding that special person in my life that encourages me to be me has been and will be the best thing ever.
I'm not sure how much I would fit in around here, and I'm not sure how much I will hang around, but I wanted to come along and say basically for anyone who right now is joining here or even just lurking, reading and trying to understand, just let yourself be yourself. You don't need to understand, everyone has their own way of relaxing / outlets and this is one of yours. At the end of the day, I have a job, I have a relationship, I enjoy my video games, I enjoy spending as much time as I can with my girlfriend and I enjoy wearing nappies. I'm not saying you should come out to everyone and anyone as people react differently, but at the end of the day how i live my life now is so much better than living in a world, beating myself up mentally about such a small insignificant thing.
It will get better and easier, don't let it rule your life, just embrace who you are!