For starters, I'll post this link.
Issues in the ABDL Community
This kid clearly has some very strong opinions about us and where we do and should fit into society at large. In case you're not interested in watching a 15 minute rant, I'll paraphrase. He says that we as ABDLs are a gender and sexual minority just like the LGBT community and we should fight for our right to be accepted.
Personally, I don't agree. Being an abDL is a part of myself that I've only recently come to embrace and accept. On top of that, I don't really want to involve many other people in it and be "out". I told my wife. That's it. She deserves to know and it made me feel closer and more trusting.
Beyond that, we're different and most people aren't going to be too accepting. Some people will be horrified (I think they shouldn't), and some (most) people will think it's ridiculous and laughable, but won't want to be included in it. I think that's their right.
I think we have more in common with BDSM and other such fetishes than we do with entire sexual orientations. Sure, being ABDL is part of our sexual identity, but I personally don't feel like it dominates my whole identity. There's a whole other side of me that loves sex with women and diapers don't even cross my mind in that moment. There's just a part of me both sexual and not that also enjoys diapers.
For me, it's too much work to be out. There's too much explaining and probably far more ridicule (not hateful) than it would ever be worth to have a whole room full of ABDL supplies that I'm perfectly ok with other people seeing.
I'm an abDL, and I'm ok with it, but I'm not ok with it compromising my other identities.