Why tell?

Trevor said:

My only real argument with your post is the 50/50 of the outcome. I think to describe the whole spectrum of possible reactions as simply "acceptance" or "rejection" is simplistic and overly broad. Even accepting that, it would still not be 50/50, since many factors play into acceptance or rejection. This is why the common wisdom here often falls back to a "you know your parents best" position when presented with someone who has some solid reasons for tell but is still undecided.

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Sorry Trevor, would have replied sooner but I was eating a pizza and lost track of your post. While I agree with your points, the reason why I stated 50/50 is because there is only one of two choices to this,

Your parents agree what you are doing.
Your parents don't agree what you are doing.

There is no higher dimension if your a good adult that you might influence your mom or dad to say, "Ok son, you can wear diapers" it does not work that way and the fact your building up courage to tell someone can be rather scary and if you choose to expose that side of you, just be cautious what will be coming to you. It is complex because it's not like you can look into the future and think, "hmm, I hope he says yes, oh god I am so excited!!!" You flip a penny and it's 50/50 that it will land on heads. The only signs you might know if you think you will get the answer you want is the fact how laid back your parents are. If you are one of those people with cool parents that agree with what you say, then your pretty good at getting the answer you pray for.

Pulluplover said:

To me its a sexual fetish, and I see no reason to tell anyone but your partner. For me its the same if you are gay or bi as well.

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I'm not exactly sure what you're saying here, but I hope you are not suggesting that gay people should be in the closet.

The reasons for gay people to come out are totally different from the reasons to tell someone about a sexual fetish. It is very important for us to be able to tell people who we love. It is not so important to be able to tell people the details of what you do in your bedroom.

If you are having trouble understanding why it is important for gay people to be able to come out, imagine what it would be like for straight couples to have to pretend they are not couples. They couldn't introduce each other by saying "This is my husband" or "This is my boyfriend." They'd have to pretend to br "friends" or "roommates". They couldn't wear wedding rings. They'd have to tell people their kids were adopted. It would be a stressful social nightmare.

Telling people that you are in a couple (and by implication that you are having sex) is socially acceptable for straight people. It should be, and increasingly is, acceptable for gay people as well.

Snivy said:

Sorry Trevor, would have replied sooner but I was eating a pizza and lost track of your post. While I agree with your points, the reason why I stated 50/50 is because there is only one of two choices to this,

Your parents agree what you are doing.
Your parents don't agree what you are doing.

There is no higher dimension if your a good adult that you might influence your mom or dad to say, "Ok son, you can wear diapers" it does not work that way and the fact your building up courage to tell someone can be rather scary and if you choose to expose that side of you, just be cautious what will be coming to you. It is complex because it's not like you can look into the future and think, "hmm, I hope he says yes, oh god I am so excited!!!" You flip a penny and it's 50/50 that it will land on heads. The only signs you might know if you think you will get the answer you want is the fact how laid back your parents are. If you are one of those people with cool parents that agree with what you say, then your pretty good at getting the answer you pray for.

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As I said, even if you're cutting it down to two possible outcomes (what's indifference?), the odds aren't 50/50. Go look at the odds for any two person sporting event. Only one person may win but odds take into account past performance, strength, weight, etc., and are rarely 50/50. With telling parents, preferences, relationships, presentation and experiences and things we don't know affect the decision. The odds of a good outcome are higher with your aforementioned "cool parents" but undeniably lower with "uncool parents".

The real problem in telling is that we don't know the actual odds. I can estimate from my past experience with my parents that if I explained this to them now, they'd be at least minimally supportive. I'm pretty sure of this and with an off the cuff estimate, I'd say the odds are 85/15 in my favor in initial conversations and pushing higher over time. However, I might be wrong. I could be blinding myself to fundamental disinclinations on their part to accept it or I might present it really badly or I might bring it up after someone has had an awful day or been scared by a weirdo in a diaper at a traffic light.

I think we're in agreement about caution over telling, it's just a question of the odds of outcomes where we differ.

Trevor said:

As I said, even if you're cutting it down to two possible outcomes (what's indifference?), the odds aren't 50/50. Go look at the odds for any two person sporting event. Only one person may win but odds take into account past performance, strength, weight, etc., and are rarely 50/50. With telling parents, preferences, relationships, presentation and experiences and things we don't know affect the decision. The odds of a good outcome are higher with your aforementioned "cool parents" but undeniably lower with "uncool parents".

The real problem in telling is that we don't know the actual odds. I can estimate from my past experience with my parents that if I explained this to them now, they'd be at least minimally supportive. I'm pretty sure of this and with an off the cuff estimate, I'd say the odds are 85/15 in my favor in initial conversations and pushing higher over time. However, I might be wrong. I could be blinding myself to fundamental disinclinations on their part to accept it or I might present it really badly or I might bring it up after someone has had an awful day or been scared by a weirdo in a diaper at a traffic light.

I think we're in agreement about caution over telling, it's just a question of the odds of outcomes where we differ.

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Ahh, I definitely see your point. I guess you can consider the ratio volume a standard of ??/?? as it is a random percentage just like everything else, although people say luck exists or doesn't exist, nobody knows what answer you will get regardless.

Snivy said:

Ahh, I definitely see your point. I guess you can consider the ratio volume a standard of ??/?? as it is a random percentage just like everything else, although people say luck exists or doesn't exist, nobody knows what answer you will get regardless.

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Closer. It might seem like splitting hairs but there's a difference between random and not knowing what the chance is. People who are cautious, do their homework, and are honest with themselves should be able to get a rough idea of how likely a good outcome is but it really requires using your best information rather than your best hopes.

I don't know that I won't get hit with a Nerf bat as soon as I walk out my door but past experience tells me the odds of that are remote. If that door opened out to a Nerf factory, I'd need to be honest with myself that the odds are significantly higher of getting hit than in a place where Nerf bats are rarer.

Trevor said:

Closer. It might seem like splitting hairs but there's a difference between random and not knowing what the chance is. People who are cautious, do their homework, and are honest with themselves should be able to get a rough idea of how likely a good outcome is but it really requires using your best information rather than your best hopes.

I don't know that I won't get hit with a Nerf bat as soon as I walk out my door but past experience tells me the odds of that are remote. If that door opened out to a Nerf factory, I'd need to be honest with myself that the odds are significantly higher of getting hit than in a place where Nerf bats are rarer.

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Well I know the difference between random and not knowing, I guess I didn't read what I say, that happens alot >.< but again, odds are you are not going to know anyway. Only way you can possibly know (little to some info) is how laid back your parents are and even that alone can't help you because they may soon realize what you are doing and can think it's bad or what did they do as a parent.

Kinda like planning a route, knowing you might be safe, and taking it while knowing what the results are going to be is what I guess your trying to say with this,

Trevor: People who are cautious, do their homework, and are honest with themselves should be able to get a rough idea of how likely a good outcome is but it really requires using your best information rather than your best hopes.

You might know if you get hit with a nerf bat if you hear any activity before you step out or if you know anybody of who would hit you...I surely wouldn't :bleh:

LittleAaron said:

"Work hard at school, get a good job, make tons of money, buy a house, then you can do whatever the fuck you want to do."

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Just the best oiption - parents far away from this.

LittleAaron said:

possibilities:

1) They accept it, but tell you to keep it under control.
2) They want you to see a psychiatrist, do this for them. At the very least it will remove any fears that you are a danger to others or yourself and perhaps the psychiatrist will explain it to them.
3) They have no part in it and refuse to accept it. ( Lay low for awhile, do not force the issue. )
4) They blow up. . . .worst case scenario, find a friend/motel to stay with/at for a while.

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The 4th and 2 is the most frecuent result. Just I'd say a psichiatrist not always is a help. It's more - if someone try to send me to sdome shrink, I'm not of those to go there. Shrink is "nobody from confidence circuit," to come out to shrink (after the parents told him) is interpreted by ABDL person as a treason: Intervention in his/her privacy. It destroys everything good around, indiferent if with parents or "confused" SO.

Tyger said:

I really don't think that is accurate. In my personal life, I've had at least a literal 8/10 people give me a positive feedback.

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Just you have a good luck. Sure you're of the less% group than ruined ABDL people for the same. Nothing more.

Final resume:

I tryed before (see somwhere inside this topic my older post) to discribe some "vainilla thinking" without my personal opinion, which is a few different: Don't freak me - it's my bussines and there's nobody to do with. You'd share after my (very exepcional) autorization.

If someone has a good luck for "kink accepted," I see it like a "1st standing in GP." I haven't this "good luck" and probably 75% of the ABDLs discovered/after the "come out to..."

May I'd remeber that a lot of people "tell you A and think B" - it means they can "aparently" accept kinky people, but when those aren't around, so you'd imagine "WTF freak..."

Finally - for all of that I wrote before I'm not recomending Come out.