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Thread: Being an AB and taking care of ourselves

  1. #1

    Default Being an AB and taking care of ourselves

    Today, I explained to my mummy that I am an AB. She doesn't answer to my mail yet but she wants that my Adult Side take care my Baby side. I told them that I don't know how to do that because if I know how to take care of other, I don't know to take care of the little one INSIDE me. Currently the only solution I know to heal my mittle one is to find a mummy and a daddy to take care of me.

    What do you think of that? Could you help me?

    Thanx!!

  2. #2

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    In terms of looking after yourself, I don't think there's anything that makes ABDL specifically other. As with any fetish, or non-Vanilla interest, you look after your adult commitments by keeping it fairly discreet and learning when you can and can't explore your Little side. On the other hand, you look after your Little side by making regular time where you can do infant/toddler/child activities and get into your Little headspace - either alone, or with a chosen partner(s).

    One of the most curious things about ABDL is realising that you can be your own big. We're all adults, and most of us have pretty stable, responsible adult lives, so it makes sense that we can act as a big to our own littleness. For example, I know this sounds silly, but I'll internally say to my little - "it's time to stop playing now, we've got work to do", or "once I've written this article, we can lie in bed with the plushies". We all have adult elements and childlike elements within our psyche, and I feel like those contrasting parts can be used together to help an individual become a balanced ABDL - not too over-reliant on being little, but not feeling that those urges to be babyish are ignored or repressed, either.

  3. #3

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    Being your own daddy is one way to think of it. However, I think the need for balance isn't specific to ABDLs. Even non-ABDLs have to take on a responsible role to provide for themselves, plus maybe a wife and kids. Then, at other times, they get to be kids themselves, although many aren't open to wording it in that way - they just have bigger toys and a different set of games. Like them, we wear two hats, one at a time.

  4. #4

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    Sure it would be great to find a care taker, but unless you find one that you know you are going to be together for the rest of your life, you should always be prepared to be independent and take care of yourself, otherwise you are too deeply entrenched into your ab/dl lifestyle, like to an unhealthy extent.

    - - - Updated - - -

    If you need help taking care of your little side, I would specifically suggest that you start by setting apart a specific time of each day, or certain days of the week, where you get to focus on being a Baby, and then you can spend your time taking care of that little part of yourself. That way you know that your little side is going to be taken care of, and it isn't going to overwhelm your adult part of your life.

  5. #5

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    The "A" in the AB acronym provides meaning to the "B". It's like the yin to the yang. Sure, bathtime is fun for a little under any circumstances. But if your whole body aches from a hard day at work, that steaming hot bubble bath with your rubber duckies is so much better. Watching cartoons in little clothes takes on more meaning if you've spent the previous several hours trapped in icky grown up clothes at work.

  6. #6

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    Thank you for your advice. But it's not really about how split my time betwen my 2 sides it's more how to deal with my anguish (currentely it's my fear to be abandonned that's rising again) and how I can do if i my Adult side doesn't know how to be reassuring for my baby side...

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost01 View Post
    Thank you for your advice. But it's not really about how split my time betwen my 2 sides it's more how to deal with my anguish (currentely it's my fear to be abandonned that's rising again) and how I can do if i my Adult side doesn't know how to be reassuring for my baby side...
    Ah, I know that feeling. So is that why you went to your mom about it? I tried going to my parents about my adult baby side so I could find support, in the end it made things worse. I think the thing that has held me together is being able to confide in my close friends and family who are open minded, and then just regularly taking care of my baby self by wearing often, as well, finding a sense of self dependence and being ok with being single if I have to. Younger generation people will generally be accepting of your little side, so you can usually count on having friends. Finding a partner though is a whole different scary ordeal, and personally I have found relieving to just say to myself, "i'm either going to be single my whole life and be an adult baby, or find a partner that can love my adult baby self." It is still scary thinking about being single my whole life, but It is nice to feel confident in who I am and what my goals are.

  8. #8

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    What I do is I make sure that when I'm being a little I have a clean house, no dishes anywhere, food prepared so I don't have to do any cooking, work finished. Then I be little without having to think of my responsibilities. I generally don't do any paper work or house cleaning while dressed for play. If I'm wearing a nappy, I wear it under normal clothes while doing my adult work. I make myself a good healthy meal and cut it up into little pieces before I become little and just leave it on the floor when I finish. I never pack up after myself when I'm little and only do it after I get changed back into my adult stuff.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ghost01 View Post
    (currentely it's my fear to be abandonned that's rising again)
    Abandoned by whom, exactly? If it's your boy/girl friend then you have to choose: Be single OR be with someone who does not share your interest OR find someone who does. If it's anyone else then it doesn't matter. You are 27, old enough to make a life of your own in which you answer to no one.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3Rooks View Post
    Abandoned by whom, exactly? If it's your boy/girl friend then you have to choose: Be single OR be with someone who does not share your interest OR find someone who does. If it's anyone else then it doesn't matter. You are 27, old enough to make a life of your own in which you answer to no one.
    Well, it's quite hard to explain because this fear is mostly non rational.
    Few times in my childhood consciously or unconsciously I lived some events like abandons. The most important is the death of my twin when we were in the womb.
    Now each time I am very clpse to someone (friend, family member girlfriend-, I'm afraid of being abandoned by him or her and sometimes I have anguish crisis and even if I take my blanket it's hard to become calm again....

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