How would you explain being little to someone outside the community?

So recently I've had to try to explain what it means to be a little to one of my best friends as well as my step mother. Both instances are long stories, but everything turned out well. Thing is I struggled with trying to explain what it meant to be a little to either of them. I thought I'd ask you guys see if anyone had some good input?

This isn't exactly something that comes up a lot, but pretty much what I say is that my brain went and got a college degree, but my heart never left kindergarten. That's about as detailed as I get.

Oh man, I wondered this alot myself. Let's see, when I told my BF about mine I told him that she's my Other cause she kinna is since I can't block her out and if I try, I zone out hardcore. It's the hardest thing to explain to someone. I think I also told him that I just feel another age a lot too.

When I told my best friend I just told her that I'm a little kid at heart. I never really grew up and I still enjoy little kid things.

My inner child is close to the serfurce and very much a part of me .
That part of me still sees the wounder of life the joy and magical parts of life.
Maybe if every one could enjoy life like I can it would be a better place.
The simple thing's make me happy .
A great day for me is colouring cartoons simple stuff.
Little gifts make me happy in side.
Did not making cookies form scratche fun with a kid still can be.
That brings me joy.

Should we not try to make others happy.
I some times hear some say I wish I could do that a again .
Most parents do through there kids some of us still are little in side.

But my little can be hurt easyer sad we hurt one another in life.
Just like you can hurt some one's feelings .
Who said we have to be a certain way as long as me get the job done .
Why cant we make it fun when we need to play grown up we can.
It was once said the children shall show the way maybe christ ment be more child like enjoy life learn to play.

You live longer and your not hurting any one.
To kill that little in me can cause harm and take the joy out of life.
For we are one being.
So dont mad that God made me this way he new what I was going to be and here I'm.

Just know I love spring flowers butterfly's most of all my heart is like a little joy and sparkles to you .

I just say that I'm very young at heart, and this is what I like and it makes me happy.

I don't dare go into the more personal aspects, or the baby stuff, but my whole family and all my friends know about everything else. Heck my family's even given me compliments.

Trying to explain this is really tough, though really it shouldn't be. I mean everyone was little once right? Everyone knows how little feels. For us little is still there. The vulnerability, the happiness the wonder , but perhaps mostly the need for security.

Being a little means being carefree, not being troubled by perceptions or expectations, being spontaneous, being observant and surprised easily....being a bit absent minded at times, distracted by your thoughts .... in a world of your own.

All of this is the magic of being little....the richness bubbling just beneath the thin veil of adulthood that serves to protect its vulnerability, that masks the little within and is there to cope with the external pressures, perceptions, expectations and responsibilities.....Certainly things that all adults must deal with but the bigger the little inside, the more difficult it is to keep it covered.

We push our natural responses and emotions to the dark recesses of our minds to meet necessities of adulthood, but unfortunately this has the same effect as putting ourselves into a dark place, something which can be upseting and disturbing for little people. Just imagine a world which allowed us the freedom to be.

Apparently when you've got it together psychologically, you successfully integrate your little self into your adult self....WTF does that even mean???? That to be a healthy and functional adult, you must disolve the magic of being little ... Screw that.... My little is well and truly in tact, full of fun and mischief, and looking for cuddles. It saddens me to say it but I have been clever enough to create an adult suit of armour that gets the job of being big done. Boy it feels good to crawl out of that heavy and burdensome covering and be me.

Long live my little.

ozbub said:

Trying to explain this is really tough, though really it shouldn't be. I mean everyone was little once right? Everyone knows how little feels. For us little is still there. The vulnerability, the happiness the wonder , but perhaps mostly the need for security.

Being a little means being carefree, not being troubled by perceptions or expectations, being spontaneous, being observant and surprised easily....being a bit absent minded at times, distracted by your thoughts .... in a world of your own.

All of this is the magic of being little....the richness bubbling just beneath the thin veil of adulthood that serves to protect its vulnerability, that masks the little within and is there to cope with the external pressures, perceptions, expectations and responsibilities.....Certainly things that all adults must deal with but the bigger the little inside, the more difficult it is to keep it covered.

We push our natural responses and emotions to the dark recesses of our minds to meet necessities of adulthood, but unfortunately this has the same effect as putting ourselves into a dark place, something which can be upseting and disturbing for little people. Just imagine a world which allowed us the freedom to be.

Apparently when you've got it together psychologically, you successfully integrate your little self into your adult self....WTF does that even mean???? That to be a healthy and functional adult, you must disolve the magic of being little ... Screw that.... My little is well and truly in tact, full of fun and mischief, and looking for cuddles. It saddens me to say it but I have been clever enough to create an adult suit of armour that gets the job of being big done. Boy it feels good to crawl out of that heavy and burdensome covering and be me.

Long live my little.

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When you're around kids you can be a little kid yourself and pretend that life is magic and you don't have to be one of those sweaty people going to work every day.
Amy Winehouse

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/amy_winehouse.html#5lst4CJeEAUvVA9m.99

I'd explain that it's basically a logical extension of how everyone acts and feels a bit childlike sometimes, and that ABDLs are simply at the far end of a spectrum which the vast majority of society is on.

Most of my friends in their mid-20s (and beyond) still get nostalgic for the music that came out when we were pre-teens, find fart jokes hilarious and reminisce about how fun it was to just run around in the countryside nearby and have the freedom to be carefree and be a bit of a nuisance! Being an AB/Little channels the same thing, only it tends to go further, both in terms of the age gap of one's regression, and the intensity/desire of that regression.

Despite the stigma surrounding ABs/Littles, our regression is actually fairly relatable for a lot of people, once they're willing to look past their preconceived notions of us as a community.

ozbub said:

Trying to explain this is really tough, though really it shouldn't be. I mean everyone was little once right? Everyone knows how little feels. For us little is still there. The vulnerability, the happiness the wonder , but perhaps mostly the need for security.

Being a little means being carefree, not being troubled by perceptions or expectations, being spontaneous, being observant and surprised easily....being a bit absent minded at times, distracted by your thoughts .... in a world of your own.

All of this is the magic of being little....the richness bubbling just beneath the thin veil of adulthood that serves to protect its vulnerability, that masks the little within and is there to cope with the external pressures, perceptions, expectations and responsibilities.....Certainly things that all adults must deal with but the bigger the little inside, the more difficult it is to keep it covered.

We push our natural responses and emotions to the dark recesses of our minds to meet necessities of adulthood, but unfortunately this has the same effect as putting ourselves into a dark place, something which can be upseting and disturbing for little people. Just imagine a world which allowed us the freedom to be.

Apparently when you've got it together psychologically, you successfully integrate your little self into your adult self....WTF does that even mean???? That to be a healthy and functional adult, you must disolve the magic of being little ... Screw that.... My little is well and truly in tact, full of fun and mischief, and looking for cuddles. It saddens me to say it but I have been clever enough to create an adult suit of armour that gets the job of being big done. Boy it feels good to crawl out of that heavy and burdensome covering and be me.

Long live my little.

Click to expand...

ozbub, you said exactly what I feel, and a bit more (added bonus)! Being little is a part of me, always has been, always will be. The need for security, comfort, safety are all something that I have needed, but not always received, so now I look after that for myself. Some days, the feeling of being 4-5 or 6 is far more up front in my thoughts, other days I have a mindset of a 40 something year old man, but the toddler is always lurking close by, all he needs is a trigger. It is deep set and not something you can shake or ignore. My worst part of it all is being criticized, be it called for or not, it puts me mentally into the toddler mind instantly, I just shut down and hide (if I can). I have never been able to handle being criticized, probably from my upbringing and childhood traumas where I became a perfectionist who could not fail in being perfect (thankfully I now know how much of a fallicy that is). Some days, I appreciate it all, other days I wish I was more like normal people, but we all have our idiosyncrasies, mine just happens to be 5 years old! :hug:

ozbub said:

Trying to explain this is really tough, though really it shouldn't be. I mean everyone was little once right? Everyone knows how little feels. For us little is still there. The vulnerability, the happiness the wonder , but perhaps mostly the need for security.

Being a little means being carefree, not being troubled by perceptions or expectations, being spontaneous, being observant and surprised easily....being a bit absent minded at times, distracted by your thoughts .... in a world of your own.

All of this is the magic of being little....the richness bubbling just beneath the thin veil of adulthood that serves to protect its vulnerability, that masks the little within and is there to cope with the external pressures, perceptions, expectations and responsibilities.....Certainly things that all adults must deal with but the bigger the little inside, the more difficult it is to keep it covered.

We push our natural responses and emotions to the dark recesses of our minds to meet necessities of adulthood, but unfortunately this has the same effect as putting ourselves into a dark place, something which can be upseting and disturbing for little people. Just imagine a world which allowed us the freedom to be.

Apparently when you've got it together psychologically, you successfully integrate your little self into your adult self....WTF does that even mean???? That to be a healthy and functional adult, you must disolve the magic of being little ... Screw that.... My little is well and truly in tact, full of fun and mischief, and looking for cuddles. It saddens me to say it but I have been clever enough to create an adult suit of armour that gets the job of being big done. Boy it feels good to crawl out of that heavy and burdensome covering and be me.

Long live my little.

Click to expand...

Yes indeed.

If anyone finds out, I just explain that it helps me de-stress and detoxify by providing a space where I feel safe, loved, and encouraged to be happy.

Of course, everyone who knows me knows I'm extremely anxious, so if you're not wound up tighter than a rubber band ball this might not be a good explanation.

I think the answer to the OP's question depends very much on the audience and the reason for the explanation. Ask yourself, are you trying to give someone the essence of it? Talking to someone who's curious, perhaps even interested in partaking? Speaking with someone who knows about kinks and alternate lifestyles or someone who's very vanilla? Does the person need to be hanging around you when you're in little mode? Are you confiding in them? How much do you want to talk about? The OP's examples are a friend and stepmother, but I'd tell it differently if I were just confiding in the friend or if I wanted to maybe be able to wear diapers around the friend, as one example.

Here are some different levels that I'd think about giving

Elevator Pitch
Being little is indulging your inner child. Letting yourself enjoy all the beautiful, sweet things in life and all the fun stuff that you're not "supposed" to enjoy as a responsible adult. Just for a little while.

Longer introduction
Being little is indulging your inner child. It's a more comprehensive way to go about it than most people do. It's letting go of most of your hangups, not being embarrassed about enjoying things normally aimed at children. Sometimes it means even pretending to be a child for a little while. It can come with vulnerability, and I wouldn't do it with someone I didn't trust, but it also opens up the ability to see the world with fresh eyes, like everything is new and wonderful and amazing.

Explanation with details about what and why
Being little is indulging your inner child. It's a more comprehensive way to go about it than most people do. It's letting go of most of your hangups, not being embarrassed about enjoying things normally aimed at children. Sometimes that means things aimed at very little kids, like watching cartoons, drinking from a bottle, or even wearing diapers or babyish clothes. It's hard to explain why this is something that some people, myself included, like to do. It's an opportunity to go into a completely different headspace than the normal world, and it can be incredibly joyful. Regardless, I enjoy doing it.

Explanation for someone who's interested in trying it or generally knowledgeable about alternative lifestyles.
Being little is indulging your inner child. It's a pretty comprehensive role to play. Sometimes it's just one or two things, like buying a nice toy or watching a kids show. Other times it's dressing up completely as a young child, including diapers, bottle, pacifier, footie PJs etc. There's a lot of different things you can do. It's basically anything little kids do, so you can play with toys or games, watch TV, eat, nap, read a story. If there's a partner to be a caretaker, there's an opportunity to do things together, which, again is anything little kids do. Sky's the limit. It's a lot of fun and an opportunity to look at the world differently. If there's a partner involved, it's also a chance to be affectionate between two people who deeply trust each other.


Edit: The other thing is that you have to be willing to answer questions. So you give somebody a few sentences depending on what you're trying to explain, then you tell them you're open to talking about it and ask if there's anything they want to know. I've explained it to a couple people, and responses have been anything from "yeah, I can see that" to "wait, do you use the diaper?"

I usually say I have a kids humour and fantasy inside an adult body. My parents have always treated me like in a somewhat degrading way but I think that they would have done that no matter what. The way they looked at the other children in the neighbourhood tells me that. Thats why I would never ever tell my mother that I have "little time" when I'm alone - it would be totally counterproductive and make her look down on me even more. But surely she suspects that there is something going on.. She knows that I'm crazy about wooden toys and plushies but I dont think she knows about the pacifiers and the sippy cups.

Unless I find it necessary, I don't tell other people that really don't need to know.

i wouldn't even attempt to explain that within the ABDL/IC group, because everyone has such a unique and delightful way of expressing themselves. - The only thing that i might say to others who do not understand, is that i admire it as an exceptional ABILITY that some creative people possess.

Here's an interesting question that I pose. Why is it important to tell others outside the AB/DL world? I mean if they aren't actually participating in it with you, what's the importance of telling others that may not understand it? Just a question.

CrinklesTheBunny said:

Here's an interesting question that I pose. Why is it important to tell others outside the AB/DL world? I mean if they aren't actually participating in it with you, what's the importance of telling others that may not understand it? Just a question.

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It's not important that others are told, but there are a variety of reasons that you might want to talk about it. Maybe you get caught by accident and then you have to tell the person something. Maybe you have a romantic partner who knows nothing about it and you have to tell your partner what you do. Maybe you're feeling a lot of angst about your life and you feel the need to confide in a friend to get support. Younger people might be indiscreet and wind up having to discuss it with parents. Our OP here said that he "had" to explain it to a friend and a stepmom, which implies to me that it was discovered or revealed somehow, so saying nothing at all was off the table.

I've personally discussed it in several contexts. I confided in a friend once and she was already familiar with it, so I didn't have to say much at all. Elsewhere, I was in a discussion about fetishes in general and a person that I trusted inquired as to mine with a great deal of curiosity and no knowledge at all, so I ended up telling him quite a lot of details.

The importance there is that I had a social relationship with these people and, for one reason or another, they wanted to know about the topic. Ignoring them or refusing discussion at that point comes across as distant or untrusting, which isn't the right thing to do when you actually do trust the person or are speaking in a context where you are confident that talking about it is okay.

If I'm at the point with someone that I'm telling them this I would just show them my little things and say I deal with a lot of stress and this is a cope and just let them ask questions and be honest with them about it. Maybe some important facts like its not related to pedophila or it doesn't make me gay you know things they might be concerned about otherwise I think it's best you let them ask so you don't accidentally overload them. That might also be a horrible idea leading them to come to there own awful conclusion but you know that's why I don't tell that many people.

CrinklesTheBunny said:

Here's an interesting question that I pose. Why is it important to tell others outside the AB/DL world? I mean if they aren't actually participating in it with you, what's the importance of telling others that may not understand it? Just a question.

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My friends deserve to know. I trust them and all that. They love me for who I am and that's all I've ever wanted from anyone.

As a bonus, my best friend is completely vanilla but has told me that I can be as little around him as I want to. There are certain things he would never do (such as changing a diaper or putting my paci in my mouth, but I'd only want my gf to do that anyway), but otherwise he's really cool about it.

The added bonus of me telling is that I now have another good friend who's also a little. We're both still very different in some ways, but I think she's really sweet and she thinks I'm awesome, so...