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Thread: How can I convince my SO to visit this site?

  1. #1

    Default How can I convince my SO to visit this site?

    I opened up to my financee a while back about my ABDL side and for the first time in my life I found genuine acceptance. Since I opened up to her I offered up reading material from a book, and also suggested online forums such as ADISC for her to visit if she had any questions / for more information.

    I only have her a chapter from the book I had because I didn't want to initally overwhelm her with information. As the days progressed I would ask her if she had any questions and she really never had any.

    I feel like I've done everything I can (I really suck talking openly about this) but yet I still feel like theres a gap in communication. Do you guys have any suggestions how I can get her to check this forum out? I'm hoping it would give her a chance to engage with other ABDLS and learn more about the lifestyle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. TY!

  2. #2

    Default How can I convince my SO to visit this site?

    My wife and others are on here. It may help your SO to hear that she could chat with others in a similar situation.

    If she has just accepted your ABDL side then she may not be interested in learning more. It sounds like you want her to. Or do you want her to be more involved?

    Talk to her about why you want her to go on ADISC. Or even just ask yourself.

    For my wife it was good to hear that I wasn't the only one and to get advice as to what it means. It was also a way of her showing me that she is ok with me.

    Good luck

  3. #3


    I really believe this is both complicated and very personal for each individual. She may be more curious than you think, but coping with as much as she can deal with at a time.

    I can absolutely relate to the awkwardness thing in conversation. I have been 'out' with my SO for 21/2 yrs and I still have difficulty actually getting specific in any's really hard to say it for what it is even though I fully engage in it right there with her. I guess we're still working on it. Sometimes I feel like I'm making real progress in the relationship, and other times It seems awful. Something that needs constant attention. At least we, you and I are in the luxurious position of having a partner that is at least open to it....many are not in that position.

    You just need to find the courage to keep introducing it in positive ways...don't apologise as that just throws it into a negative light.

    Finally, I think you were right not overwhelm her with information. My biggest concern when I disclosed this, was that my partner would go on an uninformed journey through the labyrinth that is ABDL and missinterpret what my specific personal expression or needs might be. This is why it's important to guide your partner so that she can best understand you.

    By all means encourage her to venture in here, and as other partners have done, seek advice. Just ensure that she is not making assumptions what you need to be the one to tell her that.

    Good luck, hope you go well. Let us know how you fare.

  4. #4


    It is a great idea to explain where and how to find ressources for your SO. It's some kind of safety net for when communication is not easy. However, sites like ADISC or other helpful websites are not mandatory. For me, ADISC is formidable, I learned and understand so many things here just by lurking.
    But, things differ from an individual to another, and what worked for me may not be a solution for someone else. As an example, I know my SO doesn't feel the need to explore such websites. She registered here by herself when she felt the need to ask a question but she's not visiting regularly. If she has questions, doubt or anything, I think she prefers to address them to me directly.

    If this is new to your SO, she might need some time to comprehend and understand everything. To be honest, this is a lot to take in and even if she's open-minded and able to accept you as you are, she will have to understand what being an ABDL means for you (as it's different from everyone), how she is going to fit into this if at all, how she felt about it, how she has to act with you for being the loving wife she is and how she has to act to be as supportive as she could.

    In my very limited experience, the only thing that I'm sure of is that the whole process takes time. Be sure not to overwhelm her with too many things. As I see on your profile, you are a AB, DL, sissy and little but even defining every term can be a lot for someone who never ever heard the word Adult Baby.

    My advice would be to go slowly, answering any questions she may have, explaining that this doesn't change the way you love her, be patient. You can offer her to come here to understand it or ask questions she might be afraid to ask you, but in the end, the choice is all her's.
    From what you are telling us, you seem to have handle the situation pretty well.

    I know how frustrating it can be. Finding someone that have accepted me, I wanted to share everything with her right away. It's exciting and sharing my private garden with the person I love was amazing. But, in the end, everything was done step by step, over more than a year.

    By opening you to her, you are being honest and showing her how much trust you put in her. This is not only sharing a fantasy, it's sharing who you truly are.
    This is not easy for you, this is not easy for her. But in the end, it will only bring you closer to one another.

    Anyway, good luck and I hope that everything will turn alright.

  5. #5


    Little baby steps dont push ok .
    Be the best you can be for her .
    We tend to think about our ab/dl/sissy/little all the time and when we find some one willing to be ok with us.
    We put it all in there face start to wear all the time put it all out there all at once it can be to much for them.
    You cant be a baby all the time you must think of her .
    You can hurt the relationship .

    So talk things out but most of all lisson to whats she says .
    Not only what you want ok .
    There are two of you its what you both want now.
    Good luck.

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