Hi, all. My apologies in advance if this gets rant-y or whiny.
I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. I love him dearly. About a year ago I caught him wearing a diaper for the first time. Not a huge shock because I have friends who are ABDL and he had hinted that he was interested. I didn't think it would bother me. But lately it's been a more frequent occurrence, just a little more than I thought it would be. The biggest issues I have aren't specifically ABDL. It's waking up next to the scent of pee, and I believe he's starting to come out as transgender, and right now he's unemployed, and he's significantly older than me yet I feel like a good chunk of the time I'm the adult who has to keep everything together. Ugh, sorry, phrasing is horrible. I've always been extremely responsible, independent, and old for my age so perhaps that was part of the initial attraction.. but as a college student, I just can't take care of someone right now. I know he struggles with anxiety and depression, but that's been getting a bit better. As soon as he's employed I want to find him a kink friendly therapist. The other thing that is driving me crazy is that we know we want kids in the next 5-10 years, and I'm just envisioning this ABDL lifestyle and all these kinks and everything while raising a family... I'm not a traditional person at all and am 100% LGBTQ friendly (I am bisexual and definitely have my own kinks!) But I'm just so worried about having a baby and him being jealous or not wanting to take care of him/her etc. I love my boyfriend so, so much. But I just can't fathom knowingly putting my children in a situation that could negatively impact them in any way...
Again, sorry for this rant. I don't know who to talk to about this because I know that my feelings are based off of societal expectations and norms, and he is a wonderful person and I shouldn't be feeling like this about something so trivial. I really hope I'm not coming across as a bitch.. again, I have no intention of leaving him, but I need to be able to lean on him every once in a while.
Side note: I don't mind playing along every once in a while because I know it makes him happy. But I'm just concerned that if I encourage it I'll see more of it