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Thread: Leelah Alcorn

  1. #1

  2. #2

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    This story completely broke my heart. Not a single good thing about it, and a strong young lady had to die from all the prejudice and hate.

    It's always sad when someone takes their life, but to see someone bullied to death by their own family makes it so much worse. This could have been prevented by simple acceptance. I don't really understand a mindset that considers ideology more important than the life of your child. Perhaps her parents thought being trans was wrong for whatever reason (hard to justify in my opinion, but whatever). But even still, couldn't they see that it was just hurting their child? At some point, wouldnt her life be worth more than blind adherence to a silly belief (and not even that they're Christians; I know the Bible, and there's not a word in there about being trans. This was religious/political brainwashing). If only she had been able to be herself.

    Sorry, but I'm really mad about this. Trans people get treated horribly by too many people, and when I see this, I think about the awesome people I count as friends. Simply put, a lot of people need to get their heads out of their own asses and realize that people's lives are more important than their comfort or moral squeamishness. If Leelah's parents had done that, she might be OK. If other parents, classmates, coworkers, and people would do that, some amazing people could finally be safe in this world, and free to be themselves. Understand: transgendered people aren't broken or bad. They deserve love and acceptance like anyone else.

    Anyway, in the midst of my ranting, I hope Leelah rests in peace, and that she finds herself in a place where she can be herself. My thoughts are with those who cared about her.

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    I'm really all over about this. Yeah, her parents are shitty. Def not a reason to kill yourself, though. Less than one more year and she would've been out. Maybe still have to deal with shit from other people, but tbh everyone does. They might target the fact she's trans, but really, people will treat you like shit for no reason if they can't find one. IMO suicide is never a smart option, and even as someone who has attempted suicide, I do not pity those who do or try to commit suicide.

    Now, here's MY issue with it. She was soooooooo upset about how baaaaad her life was, even though she hadn't really started it. But, she steps out in front of a truck. Didn't have it in her to pull her own damn trigger, she has someone else do it. Now, even in no-fault incidents, when you hit a person, whether it was avoidable or not, thats manslaughter. Even if he's not convicted, that charge is still on the driver's record. Now, that's just the tip. Now, the same goes for company policy; most trucking companies will terminate your employment if you hit someone, fault or no-fault. He also loses his CDL. Whoever was driving that truck is out of a job and any job training he has for the rest of his life, plus a criminal charge (i believe its a felony). So, how does a charged felon with no applicable work history or training get a job? Fun fact: HE DOESN'T. Whoever was driving that truck is now SHIT OUTTA LUCK because she didn't have the balls to off herself at home by herself.

    To clarify, yeah, I pity her for being mistreated by her parents (while its their house and they govern it, its not easy to deal with, I know), I pity her for being harassed by strangers (this is an issue that needs dealt with for many people), I pity her for not having anyone to reach out to (or not knowing who to reach out to), but I do not pity her for killing herself, and I do not view her as a martyr. All I see Leelah as is someone who couldn't handle her problems and dumped them on someone else (who had nothing to do with any of it) in the worst way possible. And I'm sure the Tumblrinas have stepped up to cause more unnecessary trouble, in addition to whatever other damage she may have caused. I'm sure a lot of things were impacted when she was hit. She didn't have to die. She definitely did not have to die how she did. I can't feel sorry for someone that selfish.

    Sorry if this is coming off as cold or transphobic. Trust me, I'm not. I've been there. Both the trans stuff (which I had to fight because of dissonant goals) and the suicidal stuff (an attempt back in 2012 showed me how much you affect when you try to kill yourself). I feel bad for her with what she had to put up with, I really do. I just don't feel bad for her about how she handled it.

  4. #4

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    I saw this earlier today too. I don't even know what to say, it's just terrible. I can only imagine the anguish Leelah's parents are feeling now and sympathize with them, yet at the same time I'm furious with them because I can't even say on their behalf that they've learned an expensive lesson -- they still misgender her, they still haven't learned.

    I hope Leelah has moved on to someplace where she can be herself and be loved for herself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mawile View Post
    I'm really all over about this. Yeah, her parents are shitty. Def not a reason to kill yourself, though. Less than one more year and she would've been out. Maybe still have to deal with shit from other people, but tbh everyone does. They might target the fact she's trans, but really, people will treat you like shit for no reason if they can't find one. IMO suicide is never a smart option, and even as someone who has attempted suicide, I do not pity those who do or try to commit suicide.

    Now, here's MY issue with it. She was soooooooo upset about how baaaaad her life was, even though she hadn't really started it. But, she steps out in front of a truck. Didn't have it in her to pull her own damn trigger, she has someone else do it. Now, even in no-fault incidents, when you hit a person, whether it was avoidable or not, thats manslaughter. Even if he's not convicted, that charge is still on the driver's record. Now, that's just the tip. Now, the same goes for company policy; most trucking companies will terminate your employment if you hit someone, fault or no-fault. He also loses his CDL. Whoever was driving that truck is out of a job and any job training he has for the rest of his life, plus a criminal charge (i believe its a felony). So, how does a charged felon with no applicable work history or training get a job? Fun fact: HE DOESN'T. Whoever was driving that truck is now SHIT OUTTA LUCK because she didn't have the balls to off herself at home by herself.

    To clarify, yeah, I pity her for being mistreated by her parents (while its their house and they govern it, its not easy to deal with, I know), I pity her for being harassed by strangers (this is an issue that needs dealt with for many people), I pity her for not having anyone to reach out to (or not knowing who to reach out to), but I do not pity her for killing herself, and I do not view her as a martyr. All I see Leelah as is someone who couldn't handle her problems and dumped them on someone else (who had nothing to do with any of it) in the worst way possible. And I'm sure the Tumblrinas have stepped up to cause more unnecessary trouble, in addition to whatever other damage she may have caused. I'm sure a lot of things were impacted when she was hit. She didn't have to die. She definitely did not have to die how she did. I can't feel sorry for someone that selfish.

    Sorry if this is coming off as cold or transphobic. Trust me, I'm not. I've been there. Both the trans stuff (which I had to fight because of dissonant goals) and the suicidal stuff (an attempt back in 2012 showed me how much you affect when you try to kill yourself). I feel bad for her with what she had to put up with, I really do. I just don't feel bad for her about how she handled it.
    I'm sorry you've had to go through being depressed and suicidal, and very happy you're still with us. It's always a tragedy when someone gets to that point.

    At the same time, I think it may be best to show a little more empathy towards Leelah right now. It's trus that the truck driver is in a bad situation now, and I hope that it works out for him (if the story is exactly as reported, I doubt he would be charged in her death, but maybe someone who knows more US law can correct me). That said, she was severely depressed and felt she had nowhere to turn. She had just gotten contact with her friends again, and felt as though they didn't care. This blow to an already hurting person probably meant she just wanted out, and wasn't thinking about how. When people are deeply depressed, they don't think about things like this.

    It also makes me think of the fact that for many, suicide is a snap decision, and had someone been there for her, she may well have decided not to kill herself, amd waited it out. But anyway...

    From her message, it was clear that she was out of hope. She felt that, even if she got to transition, things wouldnt have gotten better. We can debate whether that's true or not, but she must have felt like all her hope had been stolen from her. So I think she deserves more sympathy. To die feeling hopeless and lost like that...I can't think of a worse ending. And this doesn't diminish how bad this is for the driver, but at least he has his life, and hopefully loved ones.

    I guess this really touched a nerve because of the astronomical suicide rate for trans people, and that people I care about have also suffered for being trans. To me, her death is terrible on its own, but also makes me think of people who matter to me (and a little of myself, having been criticized before by loved ones for cross-dressing). That's why Leelah's death really affects me, and why I think we all need to really think about what this means for other people like her.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mawile View Post
    I'm really all over about this. Yeah, her parents are shitty. Def not a reason to kill yourself, though. Less than one more year and she would've been out. Maybe still have to deal with shit from other people, but tbh everyone does. They might target the fact she's trans, but really, people will treat you like shit for no reason if they can't find one. IMO suicide is never a smart option, and even as someone who has attempted suicide, I do not pity those who do or try to commit suicide.

    Now, here's MY issue with it. She was soooooooo upset about how baaaaad her life was, even though she hadn't really started it. But, she steps out in front of a truck. Didn't have it in her to pull her own damn trigger, she has someone else do it. Now, even in no-fault incidents, when you hit a person, whether it was avoidable or not, thats manslaughter. Even if he's not convicted, that charge is still on the driver's record. Now, that's just the tip. Now, the same goes for company policy; most trucking companies will terminate your employment if you hit someone, fault or no-fault. He also loses his CDL. Whoever was driving that truck is out of a job and any job training he has for the rest of his life, plus a criminal charge (i believe its a felony). So, how does a charged felon with no applicable work history or training get a job? Fun fact: HE DOESN'T. Whoever was driving that truck is now SHIT OUTTA LUCK because she didn't have the balls to off herself at home by herself.

    To clarify, yeah, I pity her for being mistreated by her parents (while its their house and they govern it, its not easy to deal with, I know), I pity her for being harassed by strangers (this is an issue that needs dealt with for many people), I pity her for not having anyone to reach out to (or not knowing who to reach out to), but I do not pity her for killing herself, and I do not view her as a martyr. All I see Leelah as is someone who couldn't handle her problems and dumped them on someone else (who had nothing to do with any of it) in the worst way possible. And I'm sure the Tumblrinas have stepped up to cause more unnecessary trouble, in addition to whatever other damage she may have caused. I'm sure a lot of things were impacted when she was hit. She didn't have to die. She definitely did not have to die how she did. I can't feel sorry for someone that selfish.

    Sorry if this is coming off as cold or transphobic. Trust me, I'm not. I've been there. Both the trans stuff (which I had to fight because of dissonant goals) and the suicidal stuff (an attempt back in 2012 showed me how much you affect when you try to kill yourself). I feel bad for her with what she had to put up with, I really do. I just don't feel bad for her about how she handled it.
    While she didn't have to die, the rest of this post comes off to me in a very attacking manner.

  7. #7

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    Even I feel pain at her passing.
    It should never have happened, if her parents would have accepted her and not rammed "Christian Rigid Gender Identity" down her throat.
    :-(

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    Quote Originally Posted by JewelSparkles View Post
    While she didn't have to die, the rest of this post comes off to me in a very attacking manner.
    Sorry if it does. By all means, it's a shame she felt she had to kill herself. At the same rate, it's a shame she brought harm to others while trying to escape her own pain. The driver has to carry this weight the rest of his life. I don't know if there were any other accidents caused by the sudden stop the trucker surely tried to make, I haven't heard anything one way or the other, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone else had gotten hurt in the commotion. And that is not okay.

    I guess a better way of putting how I feel is: I am upset that a transgender person felt so distraught that she felt the need to kill herself. I am also upset that Leelah Alcorn did not think of the ripple her actions and methods would cause. I do not care how much pain you are in, you do not bring harm to someone who is not harming anyone else. And I can only imagine how much negativity this is going to bring to all the other trans people who are struggling. How many of them will think "looks like the only way out is to kill myself..." How much more the harassment will be. "Gonna kill yourself, too, tranny?" "They're all mentally unstable!"

    Suicide is never the answer. It's selfish. And in this particular case, it hurt more people than we realize. I feel bad about what she went through, no one should have to deal with that. But I feel even worse for the people who were there when she pulled this bonehead stunt and the people who are suffering more because of her.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mawile View Post
    Sorry if it does. By all means, it's a shame she felt she had to kill herself. At the same rate, it's a shame she brought harm to others while trying to escape her own pain. The driver has to carry this weight the rest of his life. I don't know if there were any other accidents caused by the sudden stop the trucker surely tried to make, I haven't heard anything one way or the other, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone else had gotten hurt in the commotion. And that is not okay.

    I guess a better way of putting how I feel is: I am upset that a transgender person felt so distraught that she felt the need to kill herself. I am also upset that Leelah Alcorn did not think of the ripple her actions and methods would cause. I do not care how much pain you are in, you do not bring harm to someone who is not harming anyone else. And I can only imagine how much negativity this is going to bring to all the other trans people who are struggling. How many of them will think "looks like the only way out is to kill myself..." How much more the harassment will be. "Gonna kill yourself, too, tranny?" "They're all mentally unstable!"

    Suicide is never the answer. It's selfish. And in this particular case, it hurt more people than we realize. I feel bad about what she went through, no one should have to deal with that. But I feel even worse for the people who were there when she pulled this bonehead stunt and the people who are suffering more because of her.
    I think we agree that it's awful what the trucker went through as a result of Leelah's suicide. However, I also think we need to recognize that depression and rejection clouded her judgement, and that's why I think some level of sympathy is in order. She shouldn't have jumped in front of the truck, but she also shouldn't have been driven to that point in the first place. It just doesn't seem right to attack someone for killing them self, rather than empathizing with their situation. Jumping in front of the truck was a bad idea, but I think we can see why she did.

    Your second point is interesting: I hadn't thought of this leading to more anti-trans sentiment online. I'm sure it'll rile up the truly disgusting transphobes online, yes, and probably get some of the nuttier preachers angry. But among common society, I'm hopeful that this will get people to pay attention to trans struggles. It would be wonderful if people looked at Leelah and saw trans people in their lives. Maybe it'll encourage parents to be more tolerant, or some teenagers to try being nicer to the kid on their own. Maybe it'll make more people aware of trans struggles, and convince them to learn more, and speak up for people. I am hopeful that this horrible tragedy could have one redeeming feature in leading to a better world for some trans people. The dark corners of society may be slow to change. But maybe this will influence others to be more loving to trans people, and people in general. I hope people are empathetic enough for this, anyway.

  10. #10

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    I find parents like that put a real bad reputation on us Christians. I find this story both sad and aggravating. I find that there is a line that is drawn between telling some one that God does not make mistakes and telling them that their destined for a purpose. Perhaps God meant for her to be this way. I don't know how God works but I do know that he given each of us who are willing; a purpose for our life’s. Life is not meant to wait for the storm to pass. Its about dancing in the rain. That means teaching your child to find peace instead of telling them that their emotions and the way their body feels is wrong or crazy. That means reasoning with them and showing compassion the way Jesus did.

    I may not be trans but I do know what its like to be criticized for how I look and how I express my feelings. Who I am and how I live my life is God inspired. That does not mean that people should criticize me for wearing pink and using women's fashion when I modify or fix my own cloths. I stand for what the Bible teaches and that is compassion.

    Sorry to get all religious but that is how I feel.

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