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Thread: My brother, destroyer of hope

  1. #1

    Default My brother, destroyer of hope

    I'm not 100 percent sure where this is supposed to go, but here goes, As you know, I am autistic, and have a bipolar brother, In addition to College, My grandmother, and everything else, my brother is a abusive jerk who loves to hurt other people, bought emotionally and Physical, Even worse, he is in college with me, All this is at a time when I'm just starting to accept my fantasies, thanks to you guys, also to make things worse I can't buy anything I want, Abdl related or not, BECAUSE OF HIM!!!!!!!!! Sorry, had to shout. Also everyone thinks I'm so mature and a genius, although I don't fell like it, sometimes. Also, sometimes I think he knows, even though I never said anything. Sorry this lasts so long I just had to vent.

  2. #2

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    It's okay to vent. We are all her for support for both AB and non-AB things. It is unfortunate that you are unable to buy AB things (or other personal things as you stated) I hope that you are able to buy a few things one day. Perhaps a few goodnites to start. Your brother shouldn't emotionally or physically bully you that's extremely unfair. But the most important thing is that you are accepting yourself. Now I know this is an AB/DL/IC website but that doesn't not mean you should just accept that part of yourself, because you are not only an AB and I am sure you have many other wonderful parts to you as well you should learn to accept those parts too. If everyone says you're a genius, take it as a compliment, sometimes people have the ability to see things about us that we are blind to. I wish you the best.

  3. #3

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    It's time to step up and tell him to grow up. If you don't, he'll just keep on nagging. Just tell him to stay away from you. You have to stand up for yourself or get someone to do that for you. If you don't want him around you have a right of space.

    Keep your distance from him if you have to.

  4. #4

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    I would go further and maybe see a college guidance counselor. I suppose MeTalMann is right in that at some point in your life, you are going to have to draw a line in the sand, and when he crosses that line, you will need to tell him that you will no longer take him seriously. I would tell him that he no longer has any control over your emotions, and that you are not listening to his hate rhetoric.

    As a teacher in a junior high school, I had that imaginary line in the sand. I would deal with disruptive behavior, but the one thing I would not tolerate was disrespect, something which your brother is doing to you. I might add that it seems odd that you are both attending the same college, though both my son and daughter did just that. They love each other and it was a very large university, so they seldom saw each other.

    I wish you well in all of this. It's never easy when there is an abusive family member, because they know how to push all those old, emotional buttons, something they've been doing for a long time. Don't let it get to you, but look at it in a different way. You are an adult now, not a kid, and you can emotionally reject what he's saying and shut him out. Good luck.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I would go further and maybe see a college guidance counselor. I suppose MeTalMann is right in that at some point in your life, you are going to have to draw a line in the sand, and when he crosses that line, you will need to tell him that you will no longer take him seriously. I would tell him that he no longer has any control over your emotions, and that you are not listening to his hate rhetoric.

    As a teacher in a junior high school, I had that imaginary line in the sand. I would deal with disruptive behavior, but the one thing I would not tolerate was disrespect, something which your brother is doing to you. I might add that it seems odd that you are both attending the same college, though both my son and daughter did just that. They love each other and it was a very large university, so they seldom saw each other.

    I wish you well in all of this. It's never easy when there is an abusive family member, because they know how to push all those old, emotional buttons, something they've been doing for a long time. Don't let it get to you, but look at it in a different way. You are an adult now, not a kid, and you can emotionally reject what he's saying and shut him out. Good luck.


    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    It's time to step up and tell him to grow up. If you don't, he'll just keep on nagging. Just tell him to stay away from you. You have to stand up for yourself or get someone to do that for you. If you don't want him around you have a right of space.

    Keep your distance from him if you have to.


    Quote Originally Posted by timmy23 View Post
    It's okay to vent. We are all her for support for both AB and non-AB things. It is unfortunate that you are unable to buy AB things (or other personal things as you stated) I hope that you are able to buy a few things one day. Perhaps a few goodnites to start. Your brother shouldn't emotionally or physically bully you that's extremely unfair. But the most important thing is that you are accepting yourself. Now I know this is an AB/DL/IC website but that doesn't not mean you should just accept that part of yourself, because you are not only an AB and I am sure you have many other wonderful parts to you as well you should learn to accept those parts too. If everyone says you're a genius, take it as a compliment, sometimes people have the ability to see things about us that we are blind to. I wish you the best.
    I'll try, although i forgot to mention this, but in addition to the annoyance, he can get Violent and sometimes, very immature, To the point where he isn't funny, and I'm almost always around him, considering the fact that I can't drive, and we have to rely on my grandmother for transportation, also the only place I can go to is my room, which considering the combined circumstances, is pretty difficult to hide things.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Not that I can get on my own at Wal-Mart, Which I have done all the time, but we have to meet my grandmother at a certain time, which makes it hard, and even so what would I say when he sees me there, and a bag of goodnites is very hard to hide when he can just look in, also I do have a bag to hold my phone which I am typing to on, its hard to hide things in.

  6. #6

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    You've just got to separate yourself from him. Ignore him and show things don't affect you. If he resorts to violence, you have to do something. Whether it be standing your ground, going to school officials, or law enforcement. If you want it to stop, you have to perform one of those options. I don't really condone resorting to your own violence, but if you have to defend yourself, well, that will have to be a step towards your own goal of peace. If you keep holding back, letting it go, it will never end.

    Move away from the situation if you have to. Change schools.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    You've just got to separate yourself from him. Ignore him and show things don't affect you. If he resorts to violence, you have to do something. Whether it be standing your ground, going to school officials, or law enforcement. If you want it to stop, you have to perform one of those options. I don't really condone resorting to your own violence, but if you have to defend yourself, well, that will have to be a step towards your own goal of peace. If you keep holding back, letting it go, it will never end.

    Move away from the situation if you have to. Change schools.
    I have been working on the ignoring him, part thanks to my grandmother, oh and I tried what you and other people said here, it
    worked, to a certain extent, and I thank you for that. As for your advice that I am responding to, Easier said than done, I can't move away, mostly due to the fact we don't have a car, or a licence, or money, and not really anywhere to move out to ,and as of January 12, I will have 2 Semesters until graduation, anyway, so why put that at risk, by moving out, when I'll just do that anyway, in about a year with my college diploma, the law enforcement, mabie, but I'll have to see.

  8. #8
    bringmesunshine

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    Quote Originally Posted by KittyninjaW438 View Post
    Also everyone thinks I'm so mature and a genius, although I don't fell like it, sometimes.
    Blimey, same boat situ' here man! Can we start a club?! bringmesunshine p.s By same situ' I mean I've got quite a high IQ and somehow (somehow?!?!) manage to look both like I'm coping and mature a heck of a lot o the tme - the truth's a bit more sour but so many non-knowers just observe me or seemingly walk around me throwing out 'oh you really are so intelligent' or 'you've got so much going for you' or that old chestnut 'you seem so good at ths (F.E task xyz), i'm amazed you're still here on/at ths levL'. Gd luk.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by KittyninjaW View Post
    my brother is an abusive jerk who loves to hurt other people, both emotionally and Physically.
    So, get away from Your brother as soon as You can, and keep Him as far outside Your own life as possible in the future.

    i had to "divorce" my own family for those reasons as a very young man, but it was one of the wisest choices that i had ever made as a sane person living with insane persons within my own family.
    Last edited by kikee; 10-Jan-2015 at 23:34.

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