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Thread: What triggers a Purge?

  1. #1

    Default What triggers a Purge?

    So over the previous few weeks, I've had what would be best described as a purge, albeit a pretty mild one. I've not been inclined to throw away any of my little things, nor have I really felt guilty or resentful about any of my ABDL history (though that's something I've been through in years gone by). I've just gone from suddenly loving indulging in my Little Side to feeling thoroughly disinterested in it, and not for the first time. It got me wondering - what causes a purge?

    I know guilt or frustration at oneself (however misplaced) is usually the reason it happens, but why does that guilt or remorse (of a kind) appear at some times, and fade at others. And are there things which happen, either in terms of your own actions, or those of the people around you, that you see as triggers which prompt you into purging, whether it's just stopping for a while, or even having a full-on clear out of your diapers, pacis and plushies.

    I've never really found what I think is a trigger for when I feel like purging, other than I'm aware of finding myself thinking about ABDL in a more distant, dispassionate way. I'd be super interested to hear the theories and experiences of other ADISCers on this issue.

  2. #2


    As you gain self acceptance and control over your feelings you do not go through "purges" per say, but it is more of a ebb and flow cycle. They can last for a varied amount of time.

    There is no rhyme or reason for the cycle changes, but as you come to understand the feelings it becomes a lot easier to deal with.

  3. #3


    I purged about a year ago when I saw my dad wearing while at a care facility. It really took the fun out of it seeing a man that was so strong at one time seem so helpless.

  4. #4


    I think there's a difference between binge/purge and ebb and flow or wax and wane if you prefer. While it's normal for me to feel the desire some days more than others, I haven't purged in a long time. To me, it was characterized by still having the desire but having it overpowered by self-loathing.

    I had one notable period of emotionally uncharged disinterest just before joining up here. It was like a switch was thrown and I had zero interest in diapers or the like. This lasted for almost three months. I didn't feel like I had been wrong to be an ABDL, but it did seem sort of silly that it could have had such an effect on me. I don't know what caused it but it switched back on suddenly and I was back to normal. It was interesting but I think I prefer the regular ebb and flow model.

  5. #5



    There are certainly days I feel less little, but overall the last time I "purged" was when I tried to push it away forever. In general I actually find it very difficult to not feel little.

    I see a lot of littles wondering how to be more little, and I sit here wondering how to get into an adult mindset easier. I need to start taking adult responsibilities soon after the holidays are over, so I can put the plans I have to life, and I'm not going to have an easy time doing it...

  6. #6


    I think of a purge as actually throwing stuff away, with it being problematic because it comes with feelings of guilt and frustration, and because it can be quite expensive to junk all your stuff and then replace it. And purges do tend to be triggered by built up guilt, fear, or self-loathing.

    The wax and wane of desire on the other hand, seems to come from all over. For me, it's anything from being a little tired to having a stressful day that can make me more or less into it.

  7. #7


    A purge, by its very definition, involves removal of something. That might be a "purging of the ranks," in which those that undesirable are removed from the group. It might be an episode where someone with an eating disorder effects removal of the food from their stomachs. It might an episode where an ABDL discards all of their ABDL effects because of some feeling of shame or guilt.

    Purging is quite a different thing than taking a break, not being into it for a time, or otherwise being disinterested. A genuine purge is triggered by intense feelings of guilt or shame, pressures from a significant person (e.g. spouse or parent), or some other thing that makes one so disinterested in being an ABDL that they get rid of all their ABDL effects.

    Why we might simply lose interest for a time, well, there are myriad possibilities. I wrote awhile back about my loss of ABDL desires. In my case, I think it was a combination of stress from grad school, some powerful feelings regarding age, and my break from pretty much any interaction with the community. I actually missed my desires, they had gone for so long. It's only been within the past six or so months that I've had much of any interest at all in ABDL things and activities.

    Before then, there were times when I'd be really into it and times I'd be mostly uninterested. Like many things in life, my ABDL desires ebb and flow. Sometimes I really want Chinese food, and other times I'm not all that interested. That's not a purge. That's life. Sometimes, I would take a break after having been 24/7 for a few weeks. Other times, I was kinda interested, but I wasn't sufficiently interested to deal with washing diapers or cleaning up after myself.

    So in the end, it's hard to tell what causes us to withdraw from our desires. Like I said, I've had it be from stress, overindulgence, interest insufficient to overcome laziness, and more. I can't imagine it's much different for others. We're all multi-dimensional people with multi-dimensional lives.

  8. #8


    I think GoldDragonAurkarm said it very well.

    I have never purged my AB items but my AB desires do go from intense to non-existent. There are days were I will wear diapers and AB clothing pretty much the whole day for several days in a row and then go weeks without any AB interests.

    I think this is normal and (for me at least) depends on my mood and especially the other activities (or lack thereof) I have on my schedule.

  9. #9


    All great answers from above. I'll add that I wonder if brain and hormonal chemistry don't contribute to the lesser ebb and flow of desires? Like some others have shared, I sometimes feel the need to regress very strongly, and other days, don't feel it at all. If I'm very stressed or worried, especially if it concerns some new health crises my wife is experiencing, then I have no desire to engage in diapers and baby play. I'm sure the brain is the culprit.

  10. #10


    I seem to have misunderstood the term purge, and so the best idea is probably to rephrase my original question to "What triggers us to suddenly stop experiencing our ABDL desires for a while?". Some excellent and very thoughtful answers above. I'm somewhat on the opposite side to Dogboy where stress is concerned. I feel the desire to be little is generally greater when I'm anxious about something, though if I have to deal with a genuine crisis as opposed to internal stress, I seem to automatically put aside my ABDL tendencies until the issue is dealt with.

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