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Thread: Why does this make me happy?

  1. #1

    Default Why does this make me happy?

    hello all I am fairly new to the abdl community. long story short, i wet the bed until i was 15, i am 22 now. i was forced to wear goodnites pullups until 15 each night. ever since then i have had urges that come up every once in a while to wear the same goodnites during the day.

    they are comfortable, and they make me happy. but it feels so wrong. I don't understand where it all is coming from? i don't understand why wearing pullups/diapers and age playing makes me happy, yet feel so out of place at the same time. inner self hate perhaps?

    please forgive me as i was raised by very judgemental people. i do my best not to judge. except myself, i judge the crap out of myself, which seems to be my problem.

    please tell me your experiences. please help me see if this world is where i belong. (this world meaning abdl)

  2. #2

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    Hello lilmere,

    I don't think your a bad person and you should not think you are. Honestly, I sometimes question myself on certain days as to why this stuff makes me more happier than adults stuff tbh. It's an endless question I continue to search for just to find the right answer.

    Aside from that, your not alone, I'm sure we all have followed into your footsteps so your safe and should never think you have to face this alone. Why, because you got us to aid for your assist. You should never judge yourself honestly because your going to be living your life judging others besides yourself, it has lead to that and while you are fairly young, there is time to help you.

    I was 13 when I discovered I loved diapers and I honestly did not know why, it hurt me because I was teased by my parents and was caught with baby diapers being worn. I stopped at 14 because the urge left me. I wanted to read a book I remembered about for several years and here I am a Complete BF/DL with a little side attached to me and this makes me happy and I don't care who judges me and if someone tries to judge you in life, don't let that bother you. You are honestly going to live a mature, normal life, just with diapers on your side and while it is a good fetish (Since it does no harm to your body) might be addicting but you can choose whenever to stop whatever it is your doing. As for your other question about discovering this, there are consecutive answers to that and you have to look into your past to find the answer. There are millions of questions and answers to this and it's a lock that you are going to have to open about yourself. If you need extra help to unlock it, we are here for you. I can say this, maybe it was a few things that probably triggered to you liking pullups/diapers.

    1) You fell in love with the feeling. (It honestly feels like your being hugged and you get that loving feeling)
    2) The thickness around your body.
    3) It helped you regress into a more relaxing stage and you felt positive/good about yourself.
    4) The absorbency and the warm feeling.

    There are so many answers to contribute to your question, again, you have to retrace your steps and find it.

    If you want us to forgive you, I will because I know how that is like. I was judged about numerous stuff but the diapers were in the back of my head but I was judged on that by my mom, thankfully after three attempts she understood me but she threw them away and I kept that hidden till I was 17. Two years later and I am still happy and I think you should be as well.

  3. #3

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    my biggest concern is, is it healthy?
    because i have mental health issues already.
    the word "regress" has always been used negatively amongst people i've known.

    for example, cigarettes make me happy but aren't healthy.
    is abdl in anyway damaging or holding me back from anything mentally? will i grow from it? out of it? evolve?

    so very confused.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilmere View Post
    my biggest concern is, is it healthy?
    It might not be to people who look at it because it is shunned upon by adults wearing it but I think it is because,

    1) They don't destroy your body (There has been talk about it destroying your bladder but other things contribute to that, your safe there)
    2) They act as a seat (Soft seat)
    3) Your only concern is to clean up -a.k.a. wipe, powder, cream, etc and you won't get a rash. That's the only unhealthy thing but if you do all that then your chances of catching it is slim.

    You will hear talk about "Only babies and people that are IC get to wear them. You can't wear them by choice" They are wrong, you control your life. If you want to wear them, go ahead. It's perfectly fine and healthy to me.



    Quote Originally Posted by lilmere View Post
    because i have mental health issues already.
    the word "regress" has always been used negatively amongst people i've known.
    for example, cigarettes make me happy but aren't healthy.
    is abdl in anyway damaging or holding me back from anything mentally? will i grow from it? out of it? evolve?

    so very confused.
    That may be, but you hear so much stuff in the world, nobody knows what to believe, I'd say believe what you want to believe, you will soon understand what is right and wrong. Don't sweat it. This certainly will not break you by no means so I would not get paranoid over that. You possibly discovered something you like and while it may not be normal for actual people, it's still no potential harm about it so besides the smoking, your fine. Your only small concern is the friends you may tell or they may find out. There has been talk about it going away but honestly, you can try to take your mind off of it but it might come back. Sometimes this kind of thing is who you are, (For non-atheist people out there) God made us for who we are and he will gladly love us for who we are. You may grow out of it, you may not, only time will tell. I will however, not say it is damaging you in anyway like smoking does, it's possible it's a small fetish you have developed. While some fetishes are healthy/Un-healthy, this one is considered healthy.
    Last edited by Snivy; 20-Dec-2014 at 08:17. Reason: Spelling

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilmere View Post
    my biggest concern is, is it healthy?
    because i have mental health issues already.
    the word "regress" has always been used negatively amongst people i've known.

    for example, cigarettes make me happy but aren't healthy.
    is abdl in anyway damaging or holding me back from anything mentally? will i grow from it? out of it? evolve?

    so very confused.
    I would say the greatest common harm of this is the negativity and self-loathing that can accompany it. Those stresses can do real harm over time and it seems to me that they weren't worth the energy I put into them. I won't say that being an ABDL is always harmless. Like anything else, it can be taken to excess, and it does complicate relationships. I think these things are manageable and taken in balance, it can be positive.

    I can't tell you how to suddenly feel okay with this. It took me a long time on my own to decide that it didn't make me a bad person but I didn't see anything good about it. It took socialization, online to start, and in the real world eventually to really begin to understand how unproductive that angst was.

    Try accepting that it's strange and unusual but not bad. People do a lot of things that are pretty strange if you look objectively. We're just a culture within a culture that has its own drives and customs, and when you start to appreciate them, they can be a lot of fun.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilmere View Post
    my biggest concern is, is it healthy?
    because i have mental health issues already.
    the word "regress" has always been used negatively amongst people i've known.

    for example, cigarettes make me happy but aren't healthy.
    is abdl in anyway damaging or holding me back from anything mentally? will i grow from it? out of it? evolve?

    so very confused.
    Well, Snivy already hit most of the main points. But let me add a couple thoughts.

    Physically, the biggest health risk from diapers is diaper rash. That's uncomfortable, but impermanent and not a big deal. They don't hurt you.

    Mentally, ABDL itself isn't a problem. Any pleasure activity can, however, be a problem if you overindulge at the expense of work and social relationships. So, wearing diapers once in a while or wearing at night when you go to bed, not a problem. Pretending to be a baby when you get some alone time, not a problem. However, if you find yourself turning down engagements a lot so you can have diaper time, or you stop doing your work or school because you're spending too much time ageplaying, that's a problem. It's about balancing your priorities. It would be the same problem if you played videogames all the time, or did nothing but play basketball.

  7. #7

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    Things are starting to make more sense after reading everybodies replies.

    Being a little is a pleasure activity in the same way that reading a book is a pleasure activity?

    Meaning, it's just something I like to do sometimes? But not all the time

  8. #8

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    For some of us its so much a part of us its more harmful if we dont use this comfort tool we created when we were young.
    Depression,self harming, even sometimes not wanting to live feeling dead in side.
    Can be negative of giving up what makes me happy.

    So many have asked the samething why.
    I come to find out it's me and there are others like me also.

    Yes if you are not liking you for doing the diaper thing then that can lead to purge and binge cycle's where you get rid of every thing say I'm giving it up only to have it come back and you buy and buy diapers all over again.

    So many are bedwetters that it started with me i had trouble getting to the bath room on time .would wet my pants so mom got mad and diapered'me up.
    So your not alone .
    They feel good you are not harming any one .
    And if it helps with stress and comforts you then your not drinking till your drunk taking drugs or doing any harmful act.
    What's the harm .

    Your not alone enjoy who you are .
    Just dont put it out there in every ones face keep it your thing .
    And you will be ok .
    Welcome to the site you among friends here .
    We are all alike in some ways .

  9. #9
    BabyCrinklewish

    Default

    Your mind has subliminally decided that with sleep and relaxation comes diapers. Your fear and the "forcing" however adds a large scale amount of stress. Congrats on becoming an AB, as a large adventure of many emotions awaits.

    A lot of people here have experiences a lot like yours. I would post a link to another website, but it would be against the rules for promoting. Instead, look up "Understanding infantalism" on any search engine and read up. Judging onesself is the biggest ruiner of the experiences that you have brought yourself to decide that you were going to do.

    Sometimes people just like diapers. Othertimes they like just bottles. Sometimes they like both. Everreyone is diffrent, and liking and switching back and forth to many things is not uncommon.
    Welcome, little one,
    And by all means enjoy yourself

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilmere View Post
    is abdl in anyway damaging or holding me back from anything mentally? will i grow from it? out of it? evolve?

    so very confused.
    ABDL is a condition you have through no fault of your own. It's unlikely you will ever grow out of it. It will interfere with your social life and personal relationships. Growth comes when you learn to accept and deal with these problems. Hopefully you already have gotten over any guilt you may feel for having these desires. That is beyond your control. Feeling guilty about indulging in these desires may be a little more difficult to overcome. It seems natural to feel a little guilt when we do things just for pleasure. In that sense spending too much time playing with diapers is like spending too much time on the golf course. And yes, you will evolve. Take charge of your evolution whenever possible and shoot for the best life you can. Good luck!

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