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Thread: Thinking about giving up

  1. #1

    Default Thinking about giving up

    Living on my own seems to be a pipe dream. There's no descent jobs around here. I don't see a reason to keep trying any further, when there no feedback coming in. I'll give this maybe another month before I consender this experience a failure. Even my attempt at befriending my co-worker was a failure. She just used me and shuns me if I'm not useful to her. After all this time in a new city I found myself hating people even more than usual. I learned one thing from all of this. I'm meant to be alone. There is no one for me in this world.

  2. #2


    Never give up on love, even if it seemes hopeless i'm sure you will find the right person for you.

  3. #3


    Bullshit, your just not looking in the right place darko! If I have to, give it a year or two but I will fly over there myself and become your friend who will try to help you get a grip in the world!

    I'm enrolled in college and I can't find anyone but that's not stopping me for what I wanna do, become a pilot!

    As for friends at jobs, some people are like that. You will have people in your life that will use you for their needs, some might use you for awhile till they get what they want and they kick you to the curb. People are cruel these days so now you have to build trust with one another and even that people tend to break promises, trust, etc. Work is hard in the world and trying to trust employers is even harder. There can be people you don't know the history of till eventually when you DO find out, it is already too late, and of course all you can do is report it to the manager and even that, they just laugh at your request. You sometimes have to deal with it or get fired and trust me dude...getting fired over no support from work isn't worth it because long as you smile, nothing is going to bring you down. Work is going to tear you apart little by little and what you have to do is bite your tongue. The working world is harder than you think and at least you have a job, I've been trying for several months with no luck. I'm a college student with a permit who lives with his mother...yeah, I think your doing 20x better than me

    As for your loneliness, your not alone dude, you have friends who love you, family that will ALWAYS love you, you don't necessarily need a so but if you do, then keep looking someplace else. Popular places are usually of course work, college, former school student, etc. There is always dating websites like eHarmony for example but let's not focus on that. Your not alone in the world. You have friends here on ADISC that will support you all the way dude. You will always run into that one, maybe two individuals in the world. You may be hated by people but screw them, you are better than them. They don't know the kind of stuff you can do, if you want a joke about it, they are probably just jealous about what you can do and they don't even know it yet. Of course, if you have not physically met them yet, you can't judge yet. Maybe your either shy or you are thinking for the worst which is not OK.

    Have you tried to make some friends with some former high school mates? You can always find some on Facebook because many of people are a member of Facebook you might know, you can always talk with them and chit-chat some of the good memories and ask if you want to hang out, give it time. Don't jump to conclusions unless you physically met them and they, of course, have something to say. Don't give up.

    I might also add that i'm not in a good situation but I don't want my friends to feel the same way, if there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask.

    This video might encourage something, heh heh but don't do it. It does make some good points. This video is a good grab on life, I'd recommend listening to all of it.
    Last edited by Snivy; 17-Dec-2014 at 05:46. Reason: Wrong music video

  4. #4


    Honestly dude, just a tad emo. Please try and be positive. I know that's hard sometimes when things aren't so rosy, but try to focus on what you have. It's the end of the year so jobs and stuff will be scarce. Who knows what the new year will bring for you. Of course if you're always being miserable about what you don't have, you'll never be able to see opportunities. Life is what you make of the situation you're in....the way you choose to cope with it. Be positive and hopeful. Oh and do a good deed for someone, it'll make you feel good.

  5. #5


    Happiness is not a set of circumstances that happens to us. It is something we choose.

    I have no family, barely any friends. I've been single for 3 years and I have a job that stresses me to the point if panic attacks.

    But I do have two cats who love me, intentions that are good and a smile that infects other people. Sometimes it's hard to see the light behind the storm clouds but it is there and if you have to make your own light then be proud of it for what it is.

    Happiness is not a set of cercumstances that happens to us, it is something that we choose.

  6. #6


    The best I can offer is that every day is a new day, or at least, it can be. When I graduated from college, I got a job several states away from my home. I knew no one, but I joined the post youth group at the church where I was employed. I met a lot of new people my age. Their big pastime was racing cars, and in a year or two, I had a car which I raced at the track. It was in that youth group where I met the girl who would become my wife.

    The point is, I had to do something, initiate my time and will to meet others. A work place can be a bad place to find someone in which to form a relationship, because your are working and doing your job. Often the policy is non fraternization. Anyway, if you're getting nowhere at work, volunteer your time at an organization, join a club or sport, join a large church that has a number of groups. It's sort of a whatever it takes.

    At the same time, assess how you are coming across to others. Are you positive and upbeat? Are you a good listener? There is a lot involved here. Having some personal interests to share with others helps as well. My wife was an English major and I was a writer of poetry, so that became are starting place. Relationships take work.

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by DarkBabyMagicain View Post
    Living on my own seems to be a pipe dream. There's no descent jobs around here. I don't see a reason to keep trying any further, when there no feedback coming in. I'll give this maybe another month before I consender this experience a failure. Even my attempt at befriending my co-worker was a failure. She just used me and shuns me if I'm not useful to her. After all this time in a new city I found myself hating people even more than usual. I learned one thing from all of this. I'm meant to be alone. There is no one for me in this world.
    You know those really annoying people who say 'I've been there, and I know it'll get better'? I'm going to be one of them. Sometimes life is really, unfairly, utterly crap for a while. But a while doesn't last forever. I've had periods where I've had no job, no friends (let alone a girlfriend) and no motivation to try for things which I felt would never work out. But life isn't like that forever, and the best way of getting out of a rut isn't to dwell on it, it's to try and try until things improve.

    If your co-worker isn't kind to you, try and make some different friends. Join a club or society, chat to someone who sits opposite you on a train, go to a bar on an evening and try and strike up a conversation with someone else on their own. Just because one (or even one hundred) people haven't been friendly or fair when you've tried to engage with them doesn't mean that the whole world is like that!

    As for jobs, it's a case of apply, apply, apply, and if you can't get anything in your town, maybe moving elsewhere if a job becomes available will offer you a fresh start. You're not meant to be alone, and you're certainly not meant to be unhappy. Things won't improve by giving up, and stopping trying to improve your life is a one-way street towards resentment and frustration. You might never end up with everything you want in life - that's unfortunately the way the world works - but you'll end up with much more happiness, self-confidence and even success if you make a continued effort to improve your circumstances.
    Last edited by Sanch; 17-Dec-2014 at 17:46.

  8. #8


    Life is hard, it's true. You have to get up every day, put yourself together and go out into the world. But it has so many beautiful the vs in it and, even though you may not be feeling it now, you're doing pretty well for yourself.

    You've got work, a roof over your head, enough to eat, and an Internet connection. Much can be made of that. Put on music when you get up in the morning. Google around for stuff to do. I know you're tired, but the weird thing about a long day is that going out for a run after it makes you feel less tired.

    And I strongly encourage pursuing interests. Everybody always says they're lonely and dont know how to meet people. But here's the trick: people do things. If you do things, whether it's sports, theater, clubs, games, whatever, there will be people there. And there's a good chance you'll like them because they picked the same activity as you did.

    So hang in there DarkBabyMagician, things can get better.

  9. #9


    Hi, DBM, I'm sorry the whole thing isn't working out exactly the way you hoped it would. I still think you made the right decision to move, and even though things are more, well, challenging, than you thought they would be, you're still on the right track. You've gotten valuable living experience (good and bad) and learned to take care of yourself. You're an independent adult (yay) with everything that entails.

    I think backing out now would be a major setback on everything you've accomplished. Remember how badly things were going when you were living with your abusive father? Remember going hungry becauseof his neglect? You don't want to return to that life even though things feel a little rocky right now. Leaving an abusive home is one of the hardest things to do, because the abuser often makes the victim feel incompetent about living without them. Low self esteem, combined with financial and emotional difficulties can make it easy to blame yourself and become convinced things won't get any better. Then when you reminisce about the life you left behind, you tend to overlook the abuse and you think about returning home because, although it's scary, at least you know what you can expect there. The problem with that approach is that you only return to a miserable life with no opportunity of growth. It also prevents you from reaching your full potential. It's a longer, harder road you're taking by moving out on your own but it is one that yields many rewards if you just give it the time. Believe it or not, you've still been living on your own for a relatively short period of time and everything you want (and deserve) doesn't come right away. So please, don't blame yourself for how things are going, you're really not doing as badly as you think, and secondly, don't give yourself these self imposed deadlines for when everything has to work out, it'll only increase your stress and it may cut you off from a future opportunity as a result. Let your life unfold naturally and be patient. Take your goals one at a time and set realistic expectations. The rest will come in time.

    Patience and planning... Just keep moving forward no matter how challenging and difficult it seems. You're far better off sticking with it than going back to your previous life.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 18-Dec-2014 at 00:04.

  10. #10


    Unhappiness isn't a crime or something to be ashamed of. It's just something we experience, sometimes for long periods.

    You aren't "meant to be alone". Who would give your life such a meaning? You give meaning to your life and right now it appears you are meaning to improve your situation in the face of a number of obstacles. This is a good thing. Hang on to that even if the obstacles grow bigger. Reality makes you change course from time to time but you are the one who gives meaning to your life in the day to day decisions you make.

    It isn't easy to find happiness, so don't expect it. But learn to accept happiness in the little moments it finds you. For a lot of people happiness sometimes appears when doing a small act of kindness for someone else without expecting anything in return.

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