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Thread: AB/DL Fetish Checklist

  1. #1

    Default AB/DL Fetish Checklist

    Hi all. I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of fetish check lists, and more specifically is anyone has a copy of one geared toward the AB/DL lifestyle?

    Fetish checklists are something that I was introduced to by a friend who is into BDSM. When she met a new boyfriend, one who was into the types of things she was, she gave them this amazingly long and detailed checklist of things involved in that lifestyle. They would both fill it out and compare. For example "being handcuffed" 0 means I never want to do it at all, 1-4 are various levels of I'd try it to I like it occasionally, and 5 means yes I love it I want to do this all the time. I think it really helped her with communication on something that can seem embarrassing to talk about.

    I'm very new to this community, being introduced fairly recently by my boyfriend. Currently we're having some communication problems. He's had it conditioned that this desire makes him a freak, and he has some self loathing coming with it. Now that we're trying to get into the lifestyle it's been hard for us to talk about what he wants. I started off with the idea that he wanted me to be his mommy, a role that I'm getting comfortable with, but it's hard to please him when he finds it so hard to admit his desires to me. For example recently he mentioned wanting to wear pink diapers, something that confused me at first, and within seconds of telling me he went into "I know I'm a freak, never mind" mode and shut down communication on the subject. The thing is I started thinking about it I realized it didn't bother me, it just hadn't occurred to me it was something he wanted. I feel like this is a common pattern with us.

    So here's what I'm getting at, I think that written communication in the form of a fetish checklist is what is going to be best for both him and me. Seeing a list with statements like:

    [ ] I want to wear girly diapers.
    [ ] I would enjoy help getting dressed by a caretaker.
    [ ] I would wear babyish clothes in a public setting.
    [ ] Clothes are an important part of regression for me.

    And numbering them based on interest. So my idea is to get together a comprehensive list with a large number of behaviors/interests so we can go through it and mark what we're comfortable with or willing to try, then comparing and finding where we stand.

    I'm new to this, and I have no idea if a checklist like this already exists or if it's something I'm going to have to compile myself. I'm willing to put the time in to make it, I just need help with ideas for it. I would like it to be as detailed as possible, and maybe not something just him and I can use, but something that could be useful to any newcomer in this community.

    Any ideas? Feedback? I'm grateful for any input at all. Thank you.

  2. #2

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    First, let me start off by saying that I think it is very nice of you to accept his AB side and be willing to participate as well. It is amazing that you are reaching out in an attempt to better your communications and make him happier.

    As far as the list goes I do not believe that there is one compiled in a way that you are describing. Yours is much more like a personality questionnaire. I have seen some amature made adult baby test online but they are extremely inconclusive because every adult baby is special in their own way. However, I think this is a wonderful idea and I am sure there are other couples or caretaker/AB relationships that could benefit from this immensely (I know that this would help me and my SO).

    I would love to hear if you actually do decided on doing something like this and I am sure if once you get the questions that you come up with and post them on here the community would be more than willing to add or help with compiling the statements or give you feedback on the questionnaire.

    P.S. The statements that you have given for an example are really great. I am sure however that the questionnaire is either gonna require two different types (one for females and another for males) or it will have to be a large variety of statements and possibly an 'additional questions/comments' area.

  3. #3

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    Timmy's outlined some good points, but there's a couple of things I'll add. ABDL is not a fetish for everyone. If you and your boyfriend are more interested in exploring the sexual elements of ABDL, then obviously 'Fetish Checklist' is fine as a title, but for many ABDLs (even ones with numerous sexual interests), our desire for diapers and/or babyish behaviours is motivated more by comforting and nurturing experiences than erotic ones. If you're unsure as to which way he leans, maybe you could split it into two different categories like 'Cuddly Mommy' and 'Hardcore Mommy', and see which of the categories he selects mostly higher scores on.

    Also, as Timmy said, everyone's ABDL is different, so maybe put a space at the end of the checklist for 'anything that wasn't covered above', just so that if there's something special and unique about your partner's 'Little side', they can explain that to you.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by SirNapsALot View Post
    Timmy's outlined some good points, but there's a couple of things I'll add. ABDL is not a fetish for everyone. If you and your boyfriend are more interested in exploring the sexual elements of ABDL, then obviously 'Fetish Checklist' is fine as a title, but for many ABDLs (even ones with numerous sexual interests), our desire for diapers and/or babyish behaviours is motivated more by comforting and nurturing experiences than erotic ones. If you're unsure as to which way he leans, maybe you could split it into two different categories like 'Cuddly Mommy' and 'Hardcore Mommy', and see which of the categories he selects mostly higher scores on.

    Also, as Timmy said, everyone's ABDL is different, so maybe put a space at the end of the checklist for 'anything that wasn't covered above', just so that if there's something special and unique about your partner's 'Little side', they can explain that to you.
    SirNapsAlot,

    This is a really great point. I'm glad you brought it up. I mostly used "Fetish Checklist" because the idea came to me mostly out of reference to BDSM checklists which are common in that community. I've thought quite a bit about the non-sexual needs, I think those needs are mostly the reason I want to do this this checklist, because the sexual part comes easily to me while I feel like I need to work on exactly what he wants during other moods. In our personal life I've been nice mommy, sexy mommy, and sometimes mean mommy comes up as well, because of his occasional desire for humiliation, we decide before what we're both in the mood for and make a go from there.

    I guess I have a hard time coming up with ideas (how I should act, what he expects in each phase) I want to make sure to address these different desires in my checklist. I also wonder about his desire for toys, play, soft things, and about a million other things. I feel like because I'm so new to this the things that seem obvious to others might not seem obvious to me. And I hate having to pester him with questions because one of my questions always leads me to ten more. My obvious curiosity and his embarrassment at saying some things out loud have led him to showing me this forum, so I could learn at my own pace.

  5. #5

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    Welcome EyesNewlyOpened. I think this is a great way to approach the issue, and your boyfriend is lucky to have you. While this is by no means comprehensive, let me see what I can get together for you as far as questions to ask.

    For the list below, if there's anything you're not totally comfortable with, just cross it off.

    DIAPERS
    Wet?
    Messy?
    You check them or he tells you?
    Change after an accident or stay wet?
    Who decides when he's diapered?
    Going out in diapers?

    POTTY TRAINING
    Any interest?
    Underwear, training pants, or diapers?
    Success or failure?
    Punishments?
    Omorashi? (Google it, it's being turned on by having to go badly)

    BABY ITEMS
    Bottle? (What goes in it?)
    Pacifier?
    Rattle?
    Baby food?
    Pajamas (footie, cartoons, etc)?
    Other clothes (overalls, t-shirts with sesame street, etc)?
    Sippy cup?
    Plush toys (names?)
    Other toys? (Blocks, trains, I dunno)

    COMMUNICATIONS
    Limited to baby talk?
    Limited to simple words/grammar?
    Limited decision making? (Eg what to eat, what to watch, whether to go out?)
    Praise/admonishment from you? (What for?)
    Baby talk by you?
    How to initiate and end role-playing (by either of you)?

    PUNISHMENTS
    Desired at all?
    Time outs?
    Spanking?
    Scolding?
    Forced diapering?
    Limited diaper changes?

    ACTIVITIES
    Tucking in for bed?
    Naps?
    Reading a story?
    Playing together?
    Feeding?
    Watching kids TV/movies?
    Bathing?
    Dressing?
    Tickling?
    Breastfeeding?
    Doing adult things while diapered or dressed like a baby?

  6. #6

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    This sounds like a great idea~ I had attempted to make a list by gathering ideas from others but I ended up not getting enough feedback.

    Someone linked me to this website, http://www.fetishalliance.net/Storie...iationform.pdf which may give you some ideas. c:

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyan View Post
    This sounds like a great idea~ I had attempted to make a list by gathering ideas from others but I ended up not getting enough feedback.

    Someone linked me to this website, http://www.fetishalliance.net/Storie...iationform.pdf which may give you some ideas. c:
    I may use this one day, thank you for linking this.

  8. #8

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    ArchieRonie:
    Thank you so much for your comprehensive reply. It's a great place for me to start and I think it'll bring up some good talking points for us, which is really what I'm hoping to achieve with this.


    Nyan:
    I'm not surprised that I'm not the first to think of this! I knew someone out there had to be thinking along the same lines as me. I'm looking forward to checking out your link, thank you.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Nyan View Post
    This sounds like a great idea~ I had attempted to make a list by gathering ideas from others but I ended up not getting enough feedback.

    Someone linked me to this website, http://www.fetishalliance.net/Storie...iationform.pdf which may give you some ideas. c:
    Oh my gosh I just took a quick look at the PDF! It's great, I'm so glad there's something like this already out there! I can't thank you enough for taking the time to respond. Though I will probably modify it before giving it to my boyfriend to fill out I'm so excited there's such a great document out there for me to pull from. Thank you again, really! You made my night!

  9. #9

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    Checklists can be nice but can also have a drawback of informational overload if they're too detailed, a way I tend to find a little easier to work with is a list of things that you really like, lists of definite no items, and then make sure they know that if it isn't explicitly on the list that you two would need to talk about it first.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyan View Post
    This sounds like a great idea~ I had attempted to make a list by gathering ideas from others but I ended up not getting enough feedback.

    Someone linked me to this website, http://www.fetishalliance.net/Storie...iationform.pdf which may give you some ideas. c:
    Oh! This is really nice! Thank you for sharing Nyan! It's the sort of thing that's just fun to go through because sometimes you realize new stuff about how you like to do things even if you aren't planning on giving to anyone!

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