Hi all. I was wondering if anyone has ever heard of fetish check lists, and more specifically is anyone has a copy of one geared toward the AB/DL lifestyle?
Fetish checklists are something that I was introduced to by a friend who is into BDSM. When she met a new boyfriend, one who was into the types of things she was, she gave them this amazingly long and detailed checklist of things involved in that lifestyle. They would both fill it out and compare. For example "being handcuffed" 0 means I never want to do it at all, 1-4 are various levels of I'd try it to I like it occasionally, and 5 means yes I love it I want to do this all the time. I think it really helped her with communication on something that can seem embarrassing to talk about.
I'm very new to this community, being introduced fairly recently by my boyfriend. Currently we're having some communication problems. He's had it conditioned that this desire makes him a freak, and he has some self loathing coming with it. Now that we're trying to get into the lifestyle it's been hard for us to talk about what he wants. I started off with the idea that he wanted me to be his mommy, a role that I'm getting comfortable with, but it's hard to please him when he finds it so hard to admit his desires to me. For example recently he mentioned wanting to wear pink diapers, something that confused me at first, and within seconds of telling me he went into "I know I'm a freak, never mind" mode and shut down communication on the subject. The thing is I started thinking about it I realized it didn't bother me, it just hadn't occurred to me it was something he wanted. I feel like this is a common pattern with us.
So here's what I'm getting at, I think that written communication in the form of a fetish checklist is what is going to be best for both him and me. Seeing a list with statements like:
[ ] I want to wear girly diapers.
[ ] I would enjoy help getting dressed by a caretaker.
[ ] I would wear babyish clothes in a public setting.
[ ] Clothes are an important part of regression for me.
And numbering them based on interest. So my idea is to get together a comprehensive list with a large number of behaviors/interests so we can go through it and mark what we're comfortable with or willing to try, then comparing and finding where we stand.
I'm new to this, and I have no idea if a checklist like this already exists or if it's something I'm going to have to compile myself. I'm willing to put the time in to make it, I just need help with ideas for it. I would like it to be as detailed as possible, and maybe not something just him and I can use, but something that could be useful to any newcomer in this community.
Any ideas? Feedback? I'm grateful for any input at all. Thank you.