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Thread: Fed Up: Taking My Life Back

  1. #1

    Default Fed Up: Taking My Life Back

    For years, there's been one person that has been a definite downer in my life. My foster mother who I stayed from when I was 10, until I was discharged out of the foster care system when I was 21, has always been a person to judge everything I say, do, or accomplish. So the other day I thought I wou l d call her and talk to her about AB lifestyle and explain why I did it.

    As we got into the conversation, I started out by asking, "Have you ever heard of an Adult Baby?". Of course, her answer was no. I started by talking about the abuse I suffered in multiple homes before staying with her. I talked about my desires I had had all my life of wanting to be babied and wear diapers. After I had finished talking with my very emotions bound up and wrapped up in our conversation, I waited for a reply.

    I heard take a deep breath and then she sighed. I was preparing myself for the worst. As she took another deep breath and sighed again, she started with these words.

    " I seriously thought but I had raised you to be a respectful young man. But now I see, you turned into nothing but a sniveling little boy trapped in an adult's body. I can't believe that you would stoop so low to want to show your feelings by acting like a little kid. You should be ashamed of yourself and ask forgiveness from God, because what you're doing is an absolute sin. There are other ways of dealing with things that happened in your past other than getting dressed up and adult baby clothing, and diapers. I mean, what do you expect to achieve by dressing up like a baby? Do you really think that something that is healthy? You know your foster father will be rolling over in his grave if he knew that you were acting like a baby. It just makes me ashamed to even call you my son when you act like this. If nothing else, you need to get severe psychological help for your fetish. What you need to do, is get a professional to help you you deal with your problems instead of you trying to self medicate yourself with baby bottles, diapers, stuffed animals, and all that other baby stuff. You are a full grown man, and should not be acting like a little baby. Either you grow up, or I will act like you never existed to me."

    Being an adult baby, I know that I'm going to be ridiculed, talked about, and not accepted for my lifestyle. But, the hurtful things she said to me have just further solidified to me but people that don't understand the adult baby lifestyle, can be cruel, mean, and sometimes just downright bullish. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around why my foster mother got so upset about me being an adult baby. I don't know if she connected being an adult baby with being a pedophile, or whether she just does not understand about the lifestyle. But instead of trying to understand anything, the first words out of her mouth were just ridicule and hate. Oh, and I love the way she through but I should be ashamed and pray to God for forgiveness because I committed a sin. Just so hurtful. So that's all I really wanted to say, and share my feelings.

  2. #2


    Oh my gosh. Crinkles, i'm sorry that you went through that. That was extremely ignorant of her to say. If it makes you feel any better, 2 out of 3 psychologist i have visited said that my adult baby practices were fine, so her thinking that you shouldn't "self medicate" yourself because apparently acting out as an adult baby isn't an acceptable practice, is really an ignorant statement. I doubt she has even asked any psychologists about it, or even her religious leaders. People love to assume things and then call it a sin.

    My Mom once told me that if my Dad was an Adult Baby then she wouldn't have married him, which made me feel wonderful being told by my mom that I wasn't marriage material essentially. To this day it still makes me upset, I know she doesn't undesrtand what she is implying, because she doesn't understand that being an Adult baby is a core part of who I am. Your mom strangely grasps some of that, knowing that you are a little trapped inside a mans body, but she just doesn't get it.

    I don't even know how I feel about taking a stance on this. The stuff she said is pretty mean, I'm really sad you had to go through that. I'd say that you need to distance yourself from her for a while, that is for sure. The hard thing is, is it is a holiday season where families are getting together. The other thing is, is you are going to have to decide if you want to be the bigger person here. If you really want to salvage this relationship, if it is worth it to you, you might just have to prove her wrong by example (I mean, normally people wouldn't spend time trying to prove other's wrong to salvage a relationship, normally they would just not ever bring up their problems with each other, but she is straight out saying she will disown you). Show her that it is helping you, get signatures from licensed psychologists and religious leaders from her denomination (if they seem open minded enough) and show her that it isn't a sin, and it isn't medically wrong. The problem here, is it will probably never convince her anyway, religious zealots can be strong minded against logical points such as professional support.

    Another option is to just act like nothing ever happened and go on with life as normal and never talk to her about your adult baby desires. But I just feel like a lot of that is denial, because she straight up threatened you with disownment.

    The other option, which I was halfway into, is just to straight up ignore her for a long time, which certainly will destroy your relationship with her, which probably isn't a healthy thing, but at the same time, she does need to be ignored for a while. Statements like disownment should not be taken lightly. It would actually be unhealthy for you to quickly return to her side after she said things like that. People have to properly understand that they shouldn't be rude to others and expect to get away with it entirely. Forgiveness in a situation like this is meant to reclaim a relationship after a proper amount of time to recover has passed. I guess you have to decide whether or not you want to forgive her, but i still think you need some distance first.

    Well, I hope something I said helps. Might not have. I just think that it is sad that people would say things like that. Best of luck to you.

    *Virtual hug*

  3. #3


    Don't feel like she even deserves the trouble of me getting opinions from religious people or mental health professionals wouldn't mean a thing to her. It hurts so bad to have her talk to be the way she did. I didn't deserve that.

  4. #4

  5. #5


    I would strongly suggest that the person who thinks exploring one's own identity is an "absolute sin" which somehow offends God is the one with the problem, not the adult baby. Unfortunately we still live in a society where a lot of people, especially older people, react to people's uniqueness in an extremely aggressive, defensive way. As horrible as what she said is, Crinkles, there's nothing you can do about it other than accept it for what it is - the bitter ramblings of someone closed-minded and with a very puritanical approach to religion.

    You're doing the right thing by being true to yourself, and you can't really legislate for other people's prejudices and reactions.

  6. #6


    This may be true SirNapsALot, but there's a such thing as considering someone's feelings even in the midst of ranting.

  7. #7


    Wow. So sorry to hear somebody say such cruel and hurtful things. Sounds like this is a relationship that would be healthy to cease ties with now that you are grown up (in one sense, anyway...hehe).

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklesTheBunny View Post
    This may be true SirNapsALot, but there's a such thing as considering someone's feelings even in the midst of ranting.
    I completely agree. Considering the feelings of others is something which (almost) everyone has the mental capacity to do. It's just that some people don't have the kind of character which makes them consider how others might be affected by or react to their words.

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by CrinklesTheBunny View Post
    You should be ashamed of yourself and ask forgiveness from God, because what you're doing is an absolute sin.
    Bulllllllllllllshiiiiiiit, it is not a sin. You were respectful to her and you did not disrespect her so that isn't a sin either...Sorry you went through that Crinklebutt.

    I will say this, It's hard and everyone here should understand about that. I never felt anything like that before and I hope I don't but I share feelings with others because an AB/DL friend on here confessed their AB fantasy to their family and he got an answer he was not expecting and was complete hell, I was talking with him for a week about this and it felt like his world was upside down, he was calling himself stupid (Which he wasn't) and it was a madhouse, he later calmed down and I was happy that he brought upon a smile on himself again.

    If you two are close and want to keep a fair relationship, then I think you should direct her to this link:

    If she refuses to read it, jot down some notes on a note card and re-explain the situation because she is supposed to listen to what you have to say (At least, if not, then your taking a risk here but this article covers up some points) This is a better explanation on the history or definition of Infantilism. I can't stand to see you upset crinkles and neither should anyone else. I'm sure that must have been hell for you and if there is anything I can do, let me know and I will try my best.

    Is being an ABDL OK?

    Other than a potential risk of diaper rash, these desires aren't directly harmful. Still, indirect risks, concerns, and misunderstandings might need to be addressed.
    There is nothing bad about being an AB/DL other than a different personality but it does not make us stupid or immature, we all have normal lives if we are able to get jobs, be happily married, etc...that's what most parents want us to do is be successful but this is a rare occurrence to parents as to why AB/DL's exist within some of us. Some might think it is disgusting and we have to set the examples on why it is not.

    A huge thing is not letting her words effect you. While you were brought down by one individual, there are millions of people out there that don't even know your interests. One person should not bring you down, I was rejected by a friend because I became a babyfur back in June (When I turned 19 to be exact and lost my friend three weeks prior to my birthday) You will find a true partner who will love you for who you are, (You probably already did without my knowledge ) and you will have some best friends along down your road but in reality, you should never let one disrupt you like that. I would just live on life and pretend that was a bad dream.

    You are you, and only YOU can change yourself (Your emotions and your diaper )

  10. #10


    This is the kind of stuff that keeps me from telling anybody about it, but that was no way to respond to you though being a person that cared for you and watched over you for a good portion of your life I think that is not the right thing to say. I think all parents and guardians should be accepting of the people watch over.
    I'm a religious person but I to me AB/DL and religion is completely separate to me and I never relate or combine them in any way. I honestly see nothing wrong or sinful about AB/DL or fetishes in general.

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