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Thread: Fight with the wife.

  1. #1

    Default Fight with the wife.

    Hello everyone.

    It has been quite sometime since I have posted here and I wish I could comment on a positive aspect of my life, but sadly I cannot.
    I had a nice ( and I use the term facetiously) fight with my wife today. I am not going to place all the blame on her as I've been stressed out due to school and haven't been in the best of moods, but when she told me that she has no interest in my little side it made me very upset.

    When we first met she had no issues with any of this and we would often have nights were we would indulge each others fantasies. Unfortunately, as time passed all that stopped. This whole affair is baffling to say the least as a few years ago on Christmas day she she gave me a present which she made that resembled coupons that could be exchanged for things like diaper changes, baths, bedtime stories, etc. It wasn't much, but the idea made me very happy. Sadly, for one reason or another, none of those things ever happened.

    This isn't the first time this has happened and normally I have been able to let it go, but now I am finding myself at the point where I just don't know if can continue on in the relationship. For the longest time I have had the feeling of walking on egg shells and now I'm at an impasse.

    I do love her, but if she clearly doesn't want anything to do with something that is a big part of who I am, I can't see how continuing our relationship is helping either of us.

  2. #2


    Well, I can honestly say I've sort of been there / done that, but I have a lot of hope that my wife and I are going to figure this out, when we really sit down and hash it out. In the meantime, my suggestion is to find a path through it all, that you can both live with, and don't ever give up hope that a better change may come. I know, as a little (I'm not), you're probably thinking that my suggestion would be a little like a baby/kid not having a mommy, and be left feeling all alone, but what I'm really trying to say is that maybe you need to reconfigure your needs so that she can be a part of whatever it is that you finally end up being/doing. In my case, we tried a lot of the AB stuff earlier on in our relationship, but it really never fit either of us, her in a mommy role, and me in some baby/toddler role. We tried, she tried, and we both tossed in the towel, and, for some periods, we just sort of let all of the ABDL stuff run parallel to our other life issues. Yes, I still wore, but not as often with her involvement. That worked for her, at that time, and it worked for me, but, yes, I did feel sort of all-alone in my marriage/relationship. But, as time has gone on, we've steered the ship back in the direction of involvement, but more at my comfort level of just being a tried & true DL, no strings attached. As such, I have no need to be diapered and/or changed by her. I'm more like a guy of 14, who still wears because he has a problem, but doesn't need his mom to change him, or clean him up. She can, if she so desires, but it really isn't required for me to be whole, if you know what I mean. Likewise, she reads and follows my postings, which gives her a window into my exploits, much the same as a mom might just watch, from a distance, as her kid grows up, chiming in, only when needed. Again, not sure if this can work for you, but you choice of calling it quits is pretty extreme, too. Maybe just a reconfigure of where you are, and what you both need from each other, will lay the groundwork for there to be a bridge to the past fun, but with some necessary changes... (no pun)

    Good luck sorting it out!

  3. #3


    Marriages are always full of compromises, a sense of give and take. Being an adult baby is a big take, I suppose. You can only get around this by talking with your wife and see if there's something she would like in return. If not and she's totally opposed to seeing you in diapers, there's little you can do. At that point you have two choices. One is to go underground with your diaper wearing and the other is to dissolve the marriage.

  4. #4


    To add on to what Dogboy said, seeing that she didn't want to participate (you haven't mentioned anything about the relationship itself), you can't really force the issue on her. She might of tried to participate in it to keep the relationship going. Maybe she just doesn't like to. She has accepted your little side, should that be enough? If you're going to separate because you are requiring her to participate, then you should separate. You don't force someone to do something that they don't feel comfortable doing. To me, it sounds a little selfish.

    The chances of finding someone to look past your little side is rare enough as it is. The chances of finding someone that enjoys participating is even rarer.

    You will have to make your own sacrifices as well, you can't just demand and forcefully mold someone into the person that you want them to exactly be. You have to allow them to be the person they are.

    You should feel extremely lucky that you have someone that accepts you, and deals with you. She compromised for you, it's your turn to compromise and make sacrifices. Maybe she just doesn't want to deal with an immature demanding kid that cries about not getting what they want. You will have to become more mature to be in a relationship.

  5. #5


    That's how it is sometimes. Put a ring on it, everything changes. You probably thought you'd be able to get laid regularly too.

    Maybe she's stressed about stuff and doesn't feel up to dealing with your kinks.

    Maybe she's been talking to her mom/sister/girlfriend/coworker about it and they put different notions in her head.

    Maybe she thinking about reproducing and that's thrown all sorts of contradictions into her thoughts.

    As noted by Dogboy and Metalman, you deal with things, compromise, and hope for the best.

  6. #6


    It's human nature that people change their minds about things - and just as our little side can change between being a minor part of our life or a crucial part of it, a partner's reactions to our AB/Little tendencies can also take a sudden shift, often without any obvious reason.

    That said, if she says she has no interest in your little side, there isn't a huge amount you can do about that. Any serious attempts to persuade her that she'd enjoy it will probably be inferred as you 'pushing the issue' onto her, and if she knows exactly what your little side entails and doesn't currently want to engage with it, then I doubt there's much you can say to change her mind. I know that's depressing advice, but I'm giving it because I think it's realistic, and sometimes the pragmatic approach means accepting that things won't always work out quite how you hoped.

    As for whether to stay in the relationship, that's a complex issue, and one which expands beyond the realms of ABDL. Ultimately, it's your call, of course - but it's worth considering how happy you are with the state of your marriage aside from the split of opinion over ABDL. I think when anyone encounters an issue within a relationship, the issue seems to overshadow everything else within that relationship. It's very frustrating when you have a partner who seems disinterested in engaging with your little side, but I'm not sure that alone would make a relationship not worth having.

  7. #7


    If you are to remain married you two will have to find an acceptable outlet for your desires because it is unlikely these desires will ever go away. She would have to accept the fact that this is a part of you that will always exist. You may have to accept that she will never participate in it with you. If you both can be satisfied with some compromise based on those two thoughts you may be able to save the marriage.

    If she can't accept this part of you another option would be to promise you will never do it again, and do it behind her back for the rest of your life. Talk about walking on egg shells.

    My advice, for whatever it's worth: agree to put it on hold for now. Agree to discuss it at a specific time in the future when anger and other issues won't be so much of a distraction. Agree that the first discussion is for the purpose of each of you clarifying your positions and desires, not for the purpose of figuring out a compromise. At the first discussion set up a future date to determine if a compromise is possible or not. Keep in mind that a compromise agreement is not iron-clad. Things change over time and further discussions may come up.

  8. #8


    I apologize for not replying sooner. I've been so busy I haven't had time to sit down.

    I appreciate everyone's thoughts so thank you for your replies

    It's been a very stressful few weeks so I know that has factored into everything.

    After a few days I've come to the conclusion that I may have over reacted. However, she still doesn't want to participate in my little side, but it isn't as bad as it sounds.

    Just like metalman said, she does accept me and being the way I am doesn't bother her. She just doesn't want to take on a mommy or caretaker roll.

    Some days that does get to me as I want so desperately to have her interact with that side of me, if only occasionally.

    At this point though, even if she did I don't think I would feel right about it, because I would never want to force her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with.

  9. #9


    My wife doesn't participate much either. Maybe one or two mornings a week, I'll turn on the baby channel in our bedroom and act like a baby while I rub my wife's back. As long as I rub her back, this goes on with me telling her I'm her baby, etc. I enjoy it and she likes getting her back rubbed, so it works. It's not a big role playing sort of thing, but at least it's something. I think most wives are not into our being "little", but if they tolerate it, we're way ahead in the game.

  10. #10


    I'm a DL, which I feel is likely an easier 'sell' to any significant other one may have than AB stuff, but it's still a game of give and take. If it's really, really wearing on you, it might be time for a serious sit-down with the wife, or a serious examination of your priorities in the relationship. Is your marriage worth your fetish?

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