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Thread: Acceptance

  1. #1

    Default Acceptance

    In need of a little pep talk about this whole diaper lover side of me. I know it's not going away and I'm not upset about that. It's just that there's a part of me that is having trouble accepting that a 20 year old guy is really comforted by diapers. Any adice?

  2. #2


    People are weird. Take your comfort where you can find it, particularly when it's something as relatively cheap and easy as this. I don't know why we're this way but I think it's good that we have found something that feels so right. I recall reading (or maybe hearing on a podcast) someone whose partner, who wasn't into this, expressed some envy having found an item that made him feel so much more like himself and wished they had a similar trigger.

    I think it's okay in the course of your acceptance to even accept your ambivalence. Sometimes you're going to be all the way in favor of diapers, sometimes, you might prefer to keep them at a distance. I think as you get more used to the idea, the episodes of dissonance will be reduced. Do you have any social opportunities with other ABDLs? This forum is a great thing and text chatting in real time in IRC was a huge help for me at one time but what really fast-tracked it was meeting other ABDL friends I had made online.

  3. #3


    I'm a 25 year old guy, we have 35 year old guys here, we have 65 year old guys here. Doesn't matter how old you are.

    Now, the diapers part. Social stigma is often poorly placed. As long are youre not hurting anyone by doing it, is it really all that bad? Now, don't be pushing the hobby onto others who don't want involved, because that is psychological damage.

    Now, getting someone else to accept it might be a little hard because of social stigma. But personal acceptance isn't a far shot as long as you take care of yourself. Clean up properly, spend your money wisely, take out the trash, etc.

    Also know that the doubt happens sometimes. When I generally picture myself, I think of how cute I wanna be. Then I realize how average my body is, how hairy I am, that I'm sitting in my own piss... Yeah, it kinda makes me feel weird. But then I realize, this is a comfort thing. It's not about how I look. I'm not in a toddler pageant or anything. I'm tryna feel good. So to hell with how I look. I feel friggin adorable. Plus I don't have to get up in the middle of my game. Convenience ftw.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by Internet View Post
    In need of a little pep talk about this whole diaper lover side of me. I know it's not going away and I'm not upset about that. It's just that there's a part of me that is having trouble accepting that a 20 year old guy is really comforted by diapers. Any adice?
    Look at yourself in the mirror every day. Look deeply into your own eyes, and repeat after me: "I love you, I love all of you, you are totally accepted, loved and taken care of." Do that every day for 90 days. Make a calendar for when you brush your teeth to keep track of it.

    The bottom line is this: You are OK, all of you, and that includes the part of you that loves diapers. Here is some great reading about self acceptance as an ABDL:

  5. #5


    There are some that never have and never will have any problem accepting this about themselves. There are others that will never accept this about themselves. And there are varying degrees in between. But you have to do your best to decide where on the spectrum you will land. You may not be completely successful, but you do have the power to make that decision.

    I'm twice your age and felt every bit as you describe as far as having trouble accepting myself. I don't have nearly that much trouble anymore. I wish I could go back and talk to 20 year old me. I'd tell him, "You'll be just fine."

  6. #6


    Provided you're comforted by ABDL interests, and not consumed by them, I don't see any problem with being an adult who enjoys babyish activities and/or diaper wearing. I think any interest or lifestyle choice is only problematic when you become too reliant on it. For example, choosing to have a couple beers with friends is perfectly fine, but feeling the compulsion to nail half a bottle of whiskey at lunchtime represents a problem. In the same way, wearing diapers sometimes or enjoying certain baby activities and behaviours is perfectly fine, provided you don't reach a point where you're unable or unwilling to function as an adult the majority of the time.

    ABDL is not the issue in and of itself, the issue is whether it stops you from functioning as a 20-year-old man when necessary. If you can hold down a job, build mature relationships and have some more typically adult hobbies, I don't see that there's any problem at all. Also, I know plenty of people who seem unable to cope with adult life, and very few of them are ABDL. Enjoying childhood things doesn't necessarily equate to having a childish mentality.

  7. #7


    Age has nothing to do with this, there are people of all ages. like me i'm 24 (soon to be 25 in January) and yet i enjoy these things.

  8. #8


    I'm a 30 year old female and I adore every moment of this.

    Granted those moments of guilt and shame come and go with time but let be honest, everyone is weird. Everyone. And society's definition of "normal" is honestly quite insane so really it's all relitive if you think about it.

    Just have fun. Enjoy your life and your hobby and remember that it doesn't matter what ANYONE. Thinks of you.

  9. #9


    UPDATE: I have discussed this with my girlfriend was have used some of the points posted by a few of the members on this thread, sent her links from various sites and blogs about diaper lovers and the ABDL world. She said that she is perfectly fine and accepting with the comfort and stress relief side of diapers for me. She's even talked to her therapist about it because I would never have the guts to talk to mine about it. The only discussions we've had on the subject have occurred through text messaging so I'd like to speak with her about this stuff the next time that I see her (some point this week). She said she'd really like that and feel it would only help her understand this all better. I don't expect her to partake in anything she isn't ready to or doesn't want to, but I would like to be able to wear a diaper around her at some point in the future; Especially if we're planning on getting an apartment together after college.

    We'll see what happens!
    Thanks for all of your input.

    PS: Penny, I completely understand what you were talking about when you said the guilt and shame come and go. After I go through about half a pack of diapers I end up sitting there completely disgusted with myself because I let the image of diapers and adults get to me. Although when the urge is there I'm completely blind to the fact that it is 'odd', I just want to be comforted by the softness and protection of a diaper. Afterwards, however, it's a guilt-filled few minutes that I always dread. I'm sure it'll go away with time and more acceptance of myself.

  10. #10


    When I'm feeling weired out by it, I put one on. I cannot explain the emotional rush that comes over me and it doesn't resolve the fact that it _is_ weired. But the rush overwhelms all of that. Nothing else matters; I just know how I feel and I know it's the way I need to feel now. It is more than just a bit of good fortune to get that result from an inexpensive and harmless act.

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