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Thread: Telling significant others that work in health care??

  1. #1

    Default Telling significant others that work in health care??

    I'm sure there are folks here who's significant other works in the health care field. I'm curious what the reaction was when you told them?

    I ask because my wife is a nurse and deals with people wetting and messing themselves as well as their "briefs" as they refer to them, on a regular basis and I'm sure she doesn't find it glamorous or appealing.
    And am scared of her perception of me changing if she's not onboard.
    Any insight or thoughts would be appreciated.


  2. #2


    My wife worked with a lot of old folks dealing with dementia and the like and so changed her share of really gross diapers on possibly-uncooperative and sometimes-violent individuals. I guess it's a matter of compartmentalization: diapers for 'fun' are a different animal than diapers for need, and have different emotions associated. Be sure to kind of drive that point home but if she gets home at the end of a shift after having spent the day elbow-deep in soiled 'briefs' then she may not be the most accepting. Pick your moment and feel things out.

  3. #3


    And remember that you can't unring a bell. Once you say it, it's out there and it ain't going away.

  4. #4


    YMMV but I would be VERY, VERY careful. And you are correct, she is not going to find anything about this appealing. (I've wondered if I would not, if I worked in that field on more once.)

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by whiskeybravo View Post
    And you are correct, she is not going to find anything about this appealing. (I've wondered if I would not, if I worked in that field on more once.)
    iirc we have a few members here who are DLs and have worked in the medical field. Mostly they just compartmentalize it. Working with diapers in the context of caring for a sick person is a lot different than playing with diapers by yourself or with a significant other.

  6. #6


    If you trust them enough to spend the rest of you're life with, then I'd tell them, otherwise... Every one is different, I've seen people tell someone they thought would be accepting turn horrid. Then again, I've seen people be caught by someone they thought would be totally against it, and be accepted.

    So in the end I guess I would say. Do you trust them enough to tell them about you're interest no mater the outcome?

    disclaimer: Note I have never been in a serious relationship. My understanding of how they work could be wrong.

  7. #7


    I had never thought about that angle before... But, I think I would still treat her the same way I would treat anyone else you were going to tell... Just because she has to deal with diapers, and probably associates her disgusting experiences with them, doesn't mean she can't tolerate you wanting them. Also, maybe she's become more immune to them anyway - now that she's actually been around them like that. Medical fetishes are actually really common, so perhaps you can skew it that way??? (Think "naughty nurses" and whatnot) She could see it as just another daily chore that someone has to deal with, and perhaps I'm overthinking things... But seriously like others have said - once said it can't be un-said... If you truly plan on spending the rest of your life with her, then and only then, it would be an option. And ... dare I ask what do you prefer to use them for? I don't really want the answer, but my point is - if you only do #1 if that, then maybe even water it down (hehe excuse the accidental pun) the fact that "it's not like you're going #2 in them"...I don't know, just find some good angles on that, and if you truly plan on spending your life with her, then I'd work in slowly whatever you can...

  8. #8


    My mom is a nurse so she has seen lot of diapers and now she is a hospice nurse and she deals with sick patients wearing them too and using catheters or enemas or suppositories. But yet she had an attitude about people wearing them for none medical and told me it was all disgusting. It took her years to get used to me wearing them and now she sees it's part of who I am. I do find this all ironic that she would find it all sick because she is a nurse and has had to change them at work and deal with all this diaper stuff.

    So you never know how your partner may feel about all this despite having a job that deals with them. Some have an easier time accepting it because they are used to it because they are a nurse or work in a nursing home or home for disabled adults or work in the hospice but my mom was different.

  9. #9


    Thanks for the feedback guys.
    I'm sure I'll eventually work up the nerve to have the talk, I just need to determine the best angle from which to approach the convo.
    I'll be sure to share the results once we've crossed that bridge.

    Thanks again

  10. #10


    I spent a few years as an orderly, changing more than a few diapers. I never connected it with my own diaper wearing until now. One important thing to be clear about, your SO changes diapers professionally as part of their job/calling/profession. The fact that you wear diapers does not necessarily put them in that role. If you are hoping to be changed by them, then you are asking a great deal more than asking them to accept you wearing and changing yourself. What do you want and/or need emotionally? How much risk of disconnection is worth it?

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