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Thread: Explaining things to my boyfriend?

  1. #1

    Question Explaining things to my boyfriend?

    A few months before my boyfriend and I began dating, I told him that I was into ageplay. Now, I don't normally act so openly to people, but there was always something about him that made me feel comfortable. He replied pretty neutral about it, something along the lines of, "if it makes you happy, you should do it"- so I kind of took this as disinterest on his part, and didn't bring it up again.

    A week ago, while he was very, very exhausted and out of it, we were discussing our "interests" and I was being quite shy about mine. Under his breath he whispered something, and I pushed him to repeat it. "Pacifier", is what I heard. I freaked out in a fit of embarrassment and then shyly and with slight shame, confirmed it with him. He went on to tell me that when I told him about the ageplay thing he ended up googling it and stumbled onto this site, and even "had an idea of what I wanted." I was shocked that he wanted to date me still, heh.

    For the past few days, we've been playing a video game together. He's been calling me "little girl" and following me around, making remarks about how he can't let me out of his sight, and even bought me a crown in-game because he "thought little girls wanted to be a princess". I made a feisty comment to a NPC at one point, "you're not my dad"- and he replied immediately with "yeah, I am." I mentioned to him that when we first met eachother, a friend that was there jokingly said "Yeah, (Nyan) wants to be like, eight." I told him, "Firstly, she outed me to you! Secondly, that's way off!" and he replied with "Yeah, that's too old!" He's also made comments like "Go to bed now sweetie", "(because) I said so"- being a bit more authoritative as time goes on.

    Basically, I think he's pretty much got the concept of it. But my issue is.. This isn't really it for me, and I really want to let my guard down entirely- I'm scared to use my pacifier or bottle or wear around him, but I know that I want him to be involved.

    In a nutshell: how do I tell my boyfriend that I'm not just little, but I'm an AB/have AB tendencies?

  2. #2

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    Based on what you've told us, I think the best approach is basically "just tell him everything". He's obviously very actively interested in being your caretaker and probably just wants to know what you'd like and dislike.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by KatelynG View Post
    Based on what you've told us, I think the best approach is basically "just tell him everything". He's obviously very actively interested in being your caretaker and probably just wants to know what you'd like and dislike.
    I guess it's not so much that I'm worried how he will take it, he's told me countless times that he would like to be involved and is open-minded- it's that I'm painfully shy and don't know how to tell him.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyan View Post
    I guess it's not so much that I'm worried how he will take it, he's told me countless times that he would like to be involved and is open-minded- it's that I'm painfully shy and don't know how to tell him.
    If you're having trouble saying it to him directly, write it down! Make a list of everything you like/dislike and stuff that you'd want him to do/not do and give it to him. A lot of shier people find that way easier than talking about it.

  5. #5

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    For starters, his curiosity is awesome. That means he is way more likely to accept you. The thing is, that there is a bit of difference between playing around (most young couples do sort of baby talking and cutesy stuff together) and him realising how deep this goes for you.

    I'd say, go with what ever comes your way, and gently encourage him to treat you more baby-like if that what you need. Eventually you'll need to tell him everything, but don't freak him out by going in too hard.

    My guess is he's already aware if he's been browsing sites like this one.

  6. #6

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    I would just tell him some of the things but not too much at a time, just to see how he handles it at first.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by KatelynG View Post
    If you're having trouble saying it to him directly, write it down! Make a list of everything you like/dislike and stuff that you'd want him to do/not do and give it to him. A lot of shier people find that way easier than talking about it.
    Yeah, I've been trying to slowly tell him through text, though his comments have been verbal. I suppose it's just difficult because I can't think of what exactly to say, I'm not really a straightforward kind of girl, heh.



    Quote Originally Posted by ozbub View Post
    For starters, his curiosity is awesome. That means he is way more likely to accept you. The thing is, that there is a bit of difference between playing around (most young couples do sort of baby talking and cutesy stuff together) and him realising how deep this goes for you.

    I'd say, go with what ever comes your way, and gently encourage him to treat you more baby-like if that what you need. Eventually you'll need to tell him everything, but don't freak him out by going in too hard.

    My guess is he's already aware if he's been browsing sites like this one.
    Yes, I really feel so lucky to have him. He isn't just playing around, believe me. He knows this is a thing for me, and has told me that he wanted to be involved in it. I will definitely take a gentle approach, I am too scared of freaking him out to be blunt about it.



    Quote Originally Posted by santa22 View Post
    I would just tell him some of the things but not too much at a time, just to see how he handles it at first.
    Yeah, I don't want to overwhelm him, haha.

    - - - Updated - - -

    An update: We went to the store and he went down the first aisle he saw, which... happened to be the baby aisle. I followed him for a second, turned around, and went down another because I couldn't handle how embarrassed and humiliated I would possibly be. He apologized because he noticed how flustered and awkward I had gotten about it. As we were cuddling in his bed, he told me how I have a bedtime(!!) and will be reminding me nightly. He already reminds me to take my medicine. I guess I feel guilty because he does so much for me and is so selfless, and I fear possible resentment or annoyance in the future if he's involved/caretaking.

    I've debated asking him how young he thinks I am mentally, to see what he thinks and possibly gently suggest it's... lower. I don't know if this is a good idea, though.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nyan View Post
    snip
    I think you really just need to tell him. He seems extremely open and like he really wants to help you out. Make a list of everything you can possibly think of about your little side just like you're writing notes about yourself and then give it to him. Don't spread it out over texts; he wants to know about you and doing it over texts just gives you more opportunity to avoid saying it. Giving him a big list of everything keeps you from chickening out.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by KatelynG View Post
    I think you really just need to tell him. He seems extremely open and like he really wants to help you out. Make a list of everything you can possibly think of about your little side just like you're writing notes about yourself and then give it to him. Don't spread it out over texts; he wants to know about you and doing it over texts just gives you more opportunity to avoid saying it. Giving him a big list of everything keeps you from chickening out.
    He really is, and he's actually asked once for a list of what he could do for me. I just chickened out. I don't think I could physically hand him it though, again, too straightforward. I think a list is the most obvious way to go now, maybe I'll just make one and send it to him.

  10. #10

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    I'll add, that if he's been to this site, he's probably been to others as well, and may know and understand a lot more than you think. He certainly sounds like he does, based on what you've told us. I think you can push it a little more and he'll understand. When all else fails, have an open discussion, even if it's difficult.

    I had to have that discussion with my wife when she discovered a diaper order I had made. It was very uncomfortable for me, but I went for it and nether one of us have looked back. I'm wearing a duckie, footed sleeper as I write this sitting in bed next to my wife. I think you're lucky to have him, as long as he loves and respects you. Your discomfort zone should also be respected, so you may need to discuss that as well.

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