A label is a useful way to quickly convey stereotypical information about a person. An individual's occupation is one of the more common things used to label a person. Other activities lead to labels such as hunter, fisherman, housewife, bibliophile, etc. We all know that stereotypes can't entirely describe an individual because everyone is unique, but neutral labels like these can provide a frame of reference that helps guide us in our social interactions.
I deliberately used the term "neutral" to make a distinction from what I see as negative labels.
Negative labels tend to cause people to focus on the stereotype to the point where an individual's other human qualities seem less significant or, in the worst cases, where these other qualities are completely overlooked. Think "pedophile".
The question is whether the labels "adult baby" or "diaper lover" are neutral or negative.
Within the confines of our ADISC community these labels are neutral. We accept the broad, stereotypical information these labels provide but we don't loose sight of the fact that people here represent just as wide a range of human qualities and values as the general population.
In the "real world" these labels are negative. I am a man with a diaper fetish and on ADISC I would be labelled a diaper lover. My real world self finds this label misleading and disturbing. It is already too easy for people in the real world to make a jump to using a label like this as if it fully defines what I am. In their minds I go from being a man with a strange affliction to being a male pervert. No longer a man but a pervert disguised as a man. It seems extreme when it is put into explicit terms like this but I firmly believe this is the way many people emotionally respond to our situation.
The whole point is this: Many people here have expressed the desire for us to have greater acceptance in the real world. The world is not ready to accept adult babies and diaper lovers, but it is becoming more accepting of the variations in human desires. We, ourselves, have to stop using those labels as if they define "what we are" if we want the rest of the world to stop defining us that way.
Here is a suggestion to consider, when you are done choking on it. Let's define "adult baby" as a person so involved with infantile regression that he/she no longer can function as an adult. Let's define "diaper lover" as a person with some kind of delusion. Now we can discuss how we enjoy indulging in adult baby and diaper lover fantasies without too much risk of actually becoming those things and loosing our sense of adult responsibility. This is already blatantly clear to us, but the distinction is not so clear to the rest of the world when we label ourselves as "being" these things instead of these things simply being part time activities for us.