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Thread: Draft of "what is infantilism" article

  1. #1

    Default Draft of "what is infantilism" article


    I've uploaded a draft of the the new "what is infantilism" article to Understanding It is a major rewrite: The previous version was from 2006, before most of the ABDL survey data was available. I thought I'd open it up for comment.

    Specifically, it uses a chronologic structure and a new figure, the 'experiential wedge.' It attempts to illustrate A) the progression from no ABDL awareness as a baby to membership in the ABDL community, B) the generally increasing level of activity through youth, dipping a bit during latency and eventually stabilizing as an adult, C) the approximate reduction in plasticity/impressionability. It is probably not fully successful.

    Regarding the new figure:
    * Is there a way to make the figure clearer or more meaningful?
    * Are there ways in which it might give the wrong idea?

    Regarding the article:
    *Are there points that are absent, that should be added?
    *Are there parts that are unclear?
    *Do you have any other concerns, comments, or suggestions?

    It is written mainly for parents and spouses, who might or might not want to see citations. I'd like to have the final version be able to switch between no citations, numbered citations[1] and (author year) citations. For expedience, the draft has no citations at the momment.
    Last edited by BitterGrey; 18-Nov-2014 at 04:48.

  2. #2


    I'm a fan of the new draft. Thank you for the work you do for the community. I can honestly say that when I first found your page in late 2009, it was the first time that I thought I might actually not be insane for liking diapers. Finding your page was an important first step toward acceptance for me.

    I did find a minor double negative typo here: (Sexual abuse in particular isn't statistically not over-represented among ABDLs,)

  3. #3


    Thanks! I fixed the double negative error. Glad the page helped back in 2009. I hope the website will continue to help ABDLs into the future, although I'm assuming that ABDLs will be more patient with an article written for parents & spouses than visa versa.

  4. #4


    My observations and experience suggest that this article will be primarily targeted at readers ranging from confused but positive to moderately hostile - stronger hostility precluding a willingness to read the piece. Working from that premise, I think the new draft is a very good work for its purpose. The tone is informative and mostly neutral, the information is well supported by example and cursory analysis. Having read other articles, as well as the previous version of this one, I know that the citations will provide much greater depth of information to those who want it. Overall, the greater ability to cite the results of the surveys from the last several years only increases the effectiveness of the article.

    I did notice one typo at the beginning of the fourth paragraph: infantilism needs to be capitalized.

  5. #5


    Well your site let me accept being a ABDL now so it was a life saver.

  6. #6



    I think that this reads very smoothly and in a continuous progression.

    The differentiation of AB and DL is pretty clear, but still shows the complexity to gain a specific classification.

    The only cretic that I can see is the I in infantilism on the start of the forth paragraph needs to be capitalized.

    Other then that it is a good article.


  7. #7


    This a terrific piece, and well-written for the target audience. I do have a couple of points to make:

    First, you write "An infant with infantilism and diaper fetishism might strive to grow up like any other ..." I'm not sure such a thing exists; an infant only knows diapers and probably cannot form a fetishistic attachment to them while still an infant. You might begin the paragraph with "A baby probably doesn't feel ..." and be on solid ground.

    Second, in the next-to-last paragraph, "sense loss" and "sense of loss" are used interchangeably. I think "loss of control" might suit the uses better.

    For what you've done, thanks! I'm sure a number of spouses, parents and would-be ABs and DLs will appreciate your effort.

  8. #8


    @all: Thanks for the input, and for taking the time to help make this article better!

    @sbmccue: Correct. I've reworded to remove the accidental assertion: 'Even if an infant had infantilism or diaper fetishism, he might still...'. In the next-to-last paragraph, the missing 'of' in 'sense of loss' was added. I'm not sure how to get across the contrast: It isn't about control. The baby AB actually looses more control than the man AB. However, the man is aware of the lost control - a sense of loss that the baby doesn't have. I've added a link to the article on updating the triangle, which can provide more detail.

  9. #9


    BitterGrey - I have been a "fan" of Your website since 1997, and have seen its content steadily improve in quality since then. - There are other points of view that are not necessarily in conflict with Your own views on this topic. - Your personal presentation at the TeddyCon that was held in my town was extremely informative and beneficial to those who attended it. - It was an absolute delight to discuss these issues with You personally, at length, afterwards. - I sincerely hope that we will all have a chance to do that again (and again) within the near future ! - I know that i can speak for all of us in saying so. - Thank You !

    I have STILL not fully digested all of the excellent references that You had provided for further reading, but have since discussed another very important topic, with some knowlegeable friends, that You had touched upon earlier. ---->

    The need to first correct the damage that has been done to the "Understanding of infantilism", that has had a lasting negative impact upon the views of health-care practitioners over the years. - With that, i believe that we need to start by "de-bunking" the various false assumptions and theories that were made by the infamous child predator, and self-proclaimed authority on "diaper fetish" and "adult infantilism", John Money.

    Some of us, particularly those with some education and experience in the counseling profession, feel that what we are now seeing could be a reactionary tendency to retroactively justify the decades of systematic malpractice and abuse that were caused by the misinformation promulgated authoritatively by predator John Money.
    Last edited by kikee; 20-Nov-2014 at 04:23.

  10. #10


    Some feedback on the preamble ? -->

    "ABDLs don't necessarily have either paraphilic infantilism or diaper fetishism."
    All of the ABDLs whom i have met admit to a a sexual or nonsexual "fetish" for baby pants, but not all are "infantilists" ?
    Many "Ageplayers" characterize themselves as "non diapered littles", or "middles", who do not identify as "infantilists" ?

    "They might also be symptoms of other conditions"
    They might be pass times that healthy people enjoy alone, or activities that they enjoy in participation with a partner ?

    "Most, but not all ABDLs are male."
    However, the gender demographics of event attendance are rapidly changing toward a more even distribution.

    "They may hide their desires from others while leading reasonably successful and mostly ordinary lives."
    There is a high proportion of social "over achievers", who may be overcompensating from a sense of low self-esteem due to the non acceptance of their fetish within the older generation.

    "Adult babies may search for women willing to be mommies. However, ABDL women generally don't want to be mommies."
    Many women also define themselves as "Adult Babies". - Many, but not all, are searching for a more dominant male or female partner as a caretaker. - There are also an increasing number of happy and successful romantic and marital unions between same gender and heterosexual ABDL couples who are sharing their orientation in a reciprocating and egalitarian Love relationship, because of the impact of modern social networks that are breaking down the stereotypes associated with old cultural stigmas.

    "However, they might seek help dealing with the effects of cultural stigmas"
    For example, the social stigma that men in diapers are unmanly, sissyish, or feminine, and cannot be primary caretakers in a relationship.

    "The medical community has played a role in perpetuating these stigmas."
    For example, the cultural stigma that "diaper fetish" is always analogous to transvestic fetishism, which it is not, or that "Infantilism" is always related to a disorder of gender identity, which it is an idea that is largely rejected by the GBLT, because transgendered individuals do not consider their gender identity to be a "disability". - The concept that "Gender identity" is a learned behavior was never substantiated by John Money, and also rejected by the GBLT Community. - Many, perhaps most, ABDLs are actually cisgendered individuals. - Whether they are male or female, they may also sometimes enjoy "gender fluid" transvestism for fun, "forced sissification", or "babying" by a partner as a healthy and fulfilling pass time.
    Last edited by kikee; 20-Nov-2014 at 04:06.

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