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Thread: Comforting or not??

  1. #1

    Default Comforting or not??

    I have a father figure who does not know about my baby side. I also suffer from depression, Bipolar disorder and PTSD from extreme childhood abuse of all kinds. I am on disability for those mental causes and a couple minor physical ones. I am "for real" 29 BTW.
    Anyway when I am in a bad way and I will call or email him he tells me to lay down and take a nap. I have a teddy bear he gave me almost 14 years ago.I will lay down with that bear and suck my thumb and drift right off. I always feel SOOOOO babyish and little,truly cared for and comforted. Like he really has put me down for a nap,given me my bear and tucked me in,wiping my tears away before turning out the light.

    I am also a cutter and he always says he is holding my hand and it will be ok.

    Am I completely insane???? I know I am blessed to have him in my life. I just wonder if I need to feel ashamed and try to stop feeling how I do.
    Thanks friends...

  2. #2


    Never ever ever feel ashamed about doing something that makes you feel better.

    Never ever ever!

    Edit: okay now that I can type more. Everyone else pretty much nailed it but I would like to add that it is easy to fall into the trap of "I'm an adult, I'm supposed to do this...this and this" and it's really hard to feel okay with doing things that are not considered normal.

    The way I see it, if it makes you happy, makes you feel better and provides comfort and relief without hurting another person or yourself then by all means do the thing that makes you happy!

    I think a lot of people would benifit from remembering their childish side or just being true to themselves really.

    You have nothing to be ashamed of.
    Last edited by Penny; 13-Nov-2014 at 21:41.

  3. #3


    If you appreciate what you are doing it, then do it. You never want to feel sad or bad on how or what you do. It's a way of you enjoying things and it's good for what your doing. Be blessed you have a father because mine was killed during my young age and I had to grown up the rest of my childhood without my father so be blessed you still have a father. He does not have to know about your baby side, just know that you love him and hope he loves you back.

    What is there to feel ashamed of? Because you found something that relaxes you or calms your nerves? Why should that be a problem? It is not because I am immature for my age but I am very happy for who I am and I will not change myself and neither should you. God gave us lives to enjoy ourselves and make an impact onto the world. I'm sure one day you might accomplish something and that is all god is asking from us.

    What are your pro's and con's of doing this? Pro that you get to do half the stuff that none of us can't and we are jealous of you? That's definitely a pro and for a con? You feel like something is wrong with you. The only person that can change you is you. You have the right to feel good or bad but wondering if your feeling like something is wrong or doing something wrong all the time is not very healthy. Your doing something good and I would stick with it.

    Your father just loves you and would do anything for you. That is what you call a "caring" father and if he is willing to do stuff like that for you then what's the exact problem? You have a good thing going on here so you need to make it last as long as possible. Appreciate the good things in life because they will not last forever.

    Stay strong

  4. #4


    I love to have my husband tuck me into bed at night with a teddy, read me a bed time story and kiss me goodnight (we usually go to sleep at different times lol). It means so much to me, I am not ashamed! We all believe children deserve that special care and love. For some reason or other, adults seem to think they get passed all that. Do they really? I think everyone of us needs that special care and love now and then, and that isn't anything to feel bad about!

  5. #5


    There's nothing wrong with anything that makes you feel comforted, especially a nurturing experience shared with someone you care deeply about. If his comforting words and gestures make you feel happier and more mentally stable, then they can only be a good thing.

    I have OCD and other anxieties, and sometimes I need my GF to coax me into bed with a plushie and a comfort blankie, and read me a story. Is that something most adults would find enjoyable? Probably not. But in no way does that mean it's wrong or a cause for concern. We're all different, and if you can find a special bond (with yourself or anyone else) which makes you feel better and more settled, it's a wonderful thing.

  6. #6


    Thanks. He is just my father figure but I have known him since I was like 14 or so. My real father is the cause for the PTSD. ;(

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thanks everyone. He is just a father figure and really good friend and role model.
    My real father is the reason for my PTSD because of his verbal, physical and sexual abuse.
    I thank God every night and day for sending me this angel on earth. When I was 15 I prayed to God for help and He sent me him. I sometimes wonder why he still puts up with me. I am not easy to love. I am a handful!!!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Thanks everyone. Just to clarify he is my father figure. At 15 I was ready to end my life and I prayed and God sent me this angel on earth...him. My real father was the reason I was suicidal and have PTSD from abuse of every type imaginable.
    I sincerely appreciate everyone's comments!!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Sorry guys!! It kept telling me it wasn't posting and so I rewrote and it posted all 3 times!!! Oopppsssie!!!!!

  7. #7


    It's okay. I'm really happy to hear that you have someone like that in your life. That's really special and in happy for you

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