I have a father figure who does not know about my baby side. I also suffer from depression, Bipolar disorder and PTSD from extreme childhood abuse of all kinds. I am on disability for those mental causes and a couple minor physical ones. I am "for real" 29 BTW.
Anyway when I am in a bad way and I will call or email him he tells me to lay down and take a nap. I have a teddy bear he gave me almost 14 years ago.I will lay down with that bear and suck my thumb and drift right off. I always feel SOOOOO babyish and little,truly cared for and comforted. Like he really has put me down for a nap,given me my bear and tucked me in,wiping my tears away before turning out the light.
I am also a cutter and he always says he is holding my hand and it will be ok.
Am I completely insane???? I know I am blessed to have him in my life. I just wonder if I need to feel ashamed and try to stop feeling how I do.