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Thread: my wife wants me to see a doctor

  1. #1

    Default my wife wants me to see a doctor

    My wife and I have been married for about 2 and a half years now, and I've worn diapers to bed every night we've known eachother. A few days ago I asked her to pick me up a pack from the store because I've been running low and failed to put in an order online. Today I officially ran out and my orders isn't scheduled to arrive for another 3 days.

    Well I had the day off and we needed to run errands. While we were out I told her I needed to swing by CVS or walgreens to pickup a bag of diapers. Thats when she told me I needed to see a doctor for my bed wetting. She says it cost too much for diapers every month and she believes that its something I can fix. I haven't seen a doctor for this since I was 12. I tried making an excuse for going, but she talked me into it. I was fortunate to convince her not to make me go right away and that it could wait a month or so.

    She knows about my DL side and believes that's the reason I still wet the bed. There may be some truth to that, but Ive honestly wet the bed my entire life and have tried to stop numerous times before. I've tried all sorts of things to stop bed wetting in my youth, including prescription drugs. Drugs helped before, but I prefer the diaper than the side effect's.

    I'm afraid to go to a doctor, now that im 25 years old, about this problem and don't really want to. But I want to please my wife. What should I do?

  2. #2

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    Well, if you want to be slightly aggressive about it, point out a few things she enjoys that "cost too much money." A hobby, makeup, I dunno. But ask her to stop. She probably won't want to. Explain that's how you feel. Depending on the balance of money (ie if you spend more than she does), you may have to give something up for this to work well.

    Now, that's probably not the best idea. I'm just vindictive like that. A better option would be to point out that medicine and doctor visits will not be any cheaper (possibly more expensive) than diapers. Most insurance will not cover it because it's a preexisting condition. So any treatment or medication will likely be out of pocket.

    Also, if she really does believe it's your DL side and not an actual issue, her telling you to go to the doctor might be a sort of bluff to try and get you to admit it. I dunno. I don't wanna cast accusations because I don't personally know either of you and she might be truly concerned. Or she might just dislike this part of you. But either way, try to figure out why she's asking (is it really money, or does she not like it, or is she concerned, etc) and approach the topic with that in mind. But if you are going to try to keep the hobby, make sure she understands that it is something you enjoy, just like anyone else might enjoy reading, sports, video games, whatever.

    Be careful about it, don't cause problems by rushing in. Likewise, stand up for yourself if you feel like you need to.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bronie07 View Post
    My wife and I have been married for about 2 and a half years now, and I've worn diapers to bed every night we've known eachother. A few days ago I asked her to pick me up a pack from the store because I've been running low and failed to put in an order online. Today I officially ran out and my orders isn't scheduled to arrive for another 3 days.

    Well I had the day off and we needed to run errands. While we were out I told her I needed to swing by CVS or walgreens to pickup a bag of diapers. Thats when she told me I needed to see a doctor for my bed wetting. She says it cost too much for diapers every month and she believes that its something I can fix. I haven't seen a doctor for this since I was 12. I tried making an excuse for going, but she talked me into it. I was fortunate to convince her not to make me go right away and that it could wait a month or so.

    She knows about my DL side and believes that's the reason I still wet the bed. There may be some truth to that, but Ive honestly wet the bed my entire life and have tried to stop numerous times before. I've tried all sorts of things to stop bed wetting in my youth, including prescription drugs. Drugs helped before, but I prefer the diaper than the side effect's.

    I'm afraid to go to a doctor, now that im 25 years old, about this problem and don't really want to. But I want to please my wife. What should I do?
    Hi Bronie07,

    My experience is... the DL came along with the bed-wetting... as perhaps a coping method, and obviously, after puberty...

    What I'm saying is... I believe that there are two distinct issues, no matter how related they may seem to be...

    You might find that your bed-wetting has an issue, or relates to an issue that ought to be checked again... the DL part is likely to remain, but individual results will vary...

    Your wife may be right and wrong... seeing a urologist, since it's been a bit more than 12-years ago since you had before... is probably not a bad idea... even if she may intend to rid you of diapers all together... a visit to a doctor may absolve you of unnecessary expenses, while leaving you to practice your proclivities with diapers all the same...

    It should interest you to be healthy, and to reduce unneeded costs... and still have the freedom to enjoy the diapers on occasion... it's possible, that on a subconscious level, that you may need the bed-wetting aspect to reconcile the rest... your concession (compromise?)... may be to see a doctor, and let her know that you'll still probably want to play in them from time to time... see what she says to that...

    My best to you and yours,
    -Marka

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marka View Post
    Hi Bronie07,

    My experience is... the DL came along with the bed-wetting... as perhaps a coping method, and obviously, after puberty...

    What I'm saying is... I believe that there are two distinct issues, no matter how related they may seem to be...

    You might find that your bed-wetting has an issue, or relates to an issue that ought to be checked again... the DL part is likely to remain, but individual results will vary...

    Your wife may be right and wrong... seeing a urologist, since it's been a bit more than 12-years ago since you had before... is probably not a bad idea... even if she may intend to rid you of diapers all together... a visit to a doctor may absolve you of unnecessary expenses, while leaving you to practice your proclivities with diapers all the same...

    It should interest you to be healthy, and to reduce unneeded costs... and still have the freedom to enjoy the diapers on occasion... it's possible, that on a subconscious level, that you may need the bed-wetting aspect to reconcile the rest... your concession (compromise?)... may be to see a doctor, and let her know that you'll still probably want to play in them from time to time... see what she says to that...

    My best to you and yours,
    -Marka
    I was about to say roughly the same thing Bronie07. Marka just beat me to it. Just make sure your wife understands that this is a part of who and what you are. It's never going to stop and it's never going to go away even if you want it to go away or not. That being said go ahead and see the Urologist and see if anything can be done about it. Doing that can do no harm. Also if a doctor suggests drugs find out about it's side effects and remember to ask about those side effects in regards to long term use. After the doctor tells you what could happen to you, (chances are this could include serious things like kidney failure, becoming sterile, even aggravated Incontinence and possibly death depending on the medication) inform your wife of what those possible side effects are. The truth of the matter is the side effects of a lot of those drugs can be way worse then the bed wetting. (provided long term use of the drug gets involved)By all means indulge her by seeing a urologist in fact go make that phone call now right now just to make your point even stronger when that happens. Just do so in a calm polite way of course.

  5. #5

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    If it is really about the money, you could go to cloth - of course you would have to take care of the washing...

  6. #6

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    I will re-iterate what i always say in these sorts of situations. If there is an actual problem then it is best to get it checked out to see what all the options are. I can guarantee you that the options will have changed from what was available when you were 12 to now. That much is certain. So find out about what there is and make an INFORMED DECISION. Find out the pros and cons of any medicines, if surgery is recommended find out all about it including costs as well. And consider the cost of your diapers too ... there is pros and cons to wearing diapers for need as well. So find them all out and pick the best choice for you and go from there.

    I do want to say that even if you have a medical condition that can be fixed ... you can still choose to wear diapers if you want to. Just remember that and don't use the "i want to stay in diapers because i have a medical condition that i don't want to do anything about" when there are plenty of feasible options that the benefits are better then the cons (as i said, informed decision, if diapers are the best options available and everything has been explored and decided then that is fine but try to find out about everything). And if you aren't happy with the opinion given to you then definitely find another one and see what they have to say and if they will explore all the options with you better.

    I can understand what you mean about finding it embarrassing to talk about such a personal issue with the doctor. But i can guarantee you that it won't be something new to them. Remember that they deal with all sorts of issues from wart in embarrassing places to people who are fully incontinent to sexual stuff and everything in-between. It doesn't help with your situation of raising it but if you gently let them know about the issue and that you want to find out what the options are then they should be more then happy to help.

  7. #7

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    Thanks you guys for the quick replies. You got me thinking of every thing I can do. I'll keep you all updated when I figure it all out.

  8. #8

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    These are all really good points on this topic. The combination of actual incontinence and ABDLism is a physical and psychological one. Most spouses can accept the physical better than the psychological. I think it's important to point out that if you can solve the physical issue without too much expense AND detrimental effects on your body then great. However, removing the psychological aspect will probably not be possible over the long haul. Get all the facts from a doctor's examination and then make an informed decision. Best of luck.

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