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Thread: Dont know how to feel better about myself and my little side?

  1. #1

    Default Dont know how to feel better about myself and my little side?

    I cant seem to get into that mindset where I can regress anymore, after my wife left because she cheated on me she said a lot of very hurtful things about my little side including that I am a freak, pedophile, she's always hated that part of me, etc. I take stuff that people say to me very literately and now every time I try to regress I feel gross and that's all I can think about is what she said. There's still a strong urge to regress but when I do I feel horrible about myself, I don't know what to do I tried talking to my therapist about it but she doesn't seem to know what I can do to help and my psychiatrist laughed about it when he was describing a show he saw about adult babies.

    Any suggestions? This all is very depressing.

  2. #2

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    Believe in yourself. You know the truth.

    Don't worry what other people say, you know that she enjoyed it at the time and was part of our community. She only said those things to hurt you, they're not true.

    Regressing is a very pure and comforting thing and you know that really. Good luck

  3. #3

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    Don't allow people to dictate who are. You are uniquely made. Don't let what your wife said effect who you want to be.

  4. #4

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    The two posts above me are correct. You cannot let hurtful comments get to you, no matter how hard it may be. You are yourself and nobody else.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by wyatt View Post
    I cant seem to get into that mindset where I can regress anymore, after my wife left because she cheated on me she said a lot of very hurtful things about my little side including that I am a freak, pedophile, she's always hated that part of me, etc. I take stuff that people say to me very literately and now every time I try to regress I feel gross and that's all I can think about is what she said. There's still a strong urge to regress but when I do I feel horrible about myself, I don't know what to do I tried talking to my therapist about it but she doesn't seem to know what I can do to help and my psychiatrist laughed about it when he was describing a show he saw about adult babies.

    Any suggestions? This all is very depressing.
    Hi wyatt...

    It may be time for another therapist, unless you can help her to understand better... though I don't know she may not understand, that this isn't perhaps as much about what coping mechanism that you are accustomed to specifically... but, that your more natural coping mechanism has been damaged...

    Have you been able to talk to her about it in those terms?

    While the psychiatrist's response was normal in a manner of speaking... that was most insensitive and inappropriate of him to forget the associations with you, and the AB/DL proclivities... (does the psychiatrist know you are engaged in this?)...

    Your estranged wife (ex?)... may have been acting in her own defensiveness to justify her leaving you... and it's unfortunate that she did so, quite at your expense of this particular vulnerability... and, especially... where she would've been looking to excuse herself from cheating... 'throw mud on you', to evade her own guilt, and distract you, as being the problem...

    I understand too, taking things rather literally... even if the intent was meant more symbolic in nature...

    From my experience... that comes from growing up in a... generally socially isolated condition (or otherwise very controlled environment), and we tend to not have acquired the looser meanings... and we're left to our own interpretations, because we haven't learned any others... In this case... we are better-off to learn new connotations, that will help us to know when it should be more likely construed as a symbolic, metaphoric, or defensive-utilization from others... as opposed to defaulting to the rather more literal interpretations... as any sort of rule...

    If I (or anyone) were to ask you... wyatt, are you a freak?
    wyatt, are you a pedophile?

    What would you answer to either, or both questions?

    Notice, I didn't ask you... if anyone might wonder if you're a freak, and/or a pedophile...

    My question is quite literally... Do you believe (not question, think, or wonder)... are you either or both, a freak, or a pedophile?

    Let's make those distinctions for ourselves, that we may have some solace and comfort... in knowing the difference of what the inexperienced may question, think, or even accuse of us... out of an understandable, yet misplaced ignorance-fear conditioning...

    wyatt, what do you know about this for you?

    Respectfully, and to your better health,
    -Marka

  6. #6

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    Also keep in mind- when she said those things she was intending to hurt you to deflect blame from her own transgressions. Don't let her win by falling into her nonsense. Her opinion doesn't matter anymore. Only yours does. You know you're not hurting anyone and you deserve to be happy doing what you do.

    And I'm sorry abut your psychiatrist. Simply put, most people still don't understand us or how to handle us. It's not your fault.

  7. #7

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    Littles need lots of attention and love, regardless of age, gender, whatnot... I'm sorry that your wife was so mean to you, wyatt. You are a wonderful person, and you aren't a pedophile. She's leveraging whatever she can to hurt you, so keep your heart safe, and away from her influence. There's nothing wrong with you. Find someone who will appreciate little you. If there's anything that I've learned (as a caretaker), its that a little needs their caretaker or significant other to be loving, kind and nurturing. Constantly... I never realized how sad my little was, how much more love they needed than I was giving them, until it was too late. I'm so dense... stupid, even..

    Your wife, on the other hand: she's being mean, and inconsiderate, and even downright hateful. You can do better. You'll find someone waiting just for you someday, someone who will love and appreciate you for who you are. They exist, I promise.
    Last edited by Bluestars; 09-Nov-2014 at 04:18.

  8. #8

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    I am totally comfortable with my Adult Baby self. It is part of who I am as a person.

  9. #9

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    To be blunt, your ex is a bitch. It stings now but hey, she obviously ain't the authority on moral excellence. I've been through a divorce and I know how it feels. You don't wanna think or say poorly of her because you didn't want things to go that direction. It took me a while to get her off my mind, and I'm still depressed. So like I said, I know it's hard to not want to value her opinion. I don't wanna tell you to move one, or let it go, or whatever. It ain't easy, I know. But all I'm saying is, that's likely the source of your confliction. So, with that info, you can work towards it on your own terms.

    Long story short, her opinion is invalid now, so when you can bring yourself to do so, toss it out the window.

    On the note of your psych and therapist, I've long since given up on that kind of thing. I've never felt like they genuinely wanted to help. Yours seem very insensitive of your lifestyle, not something a modern doctor should do. If you do need to maintain a doctor, maybe look around for one familiar with and supportive of this lifetyle. Likewise, maybe all it'd take is a discussion of how you'd like them to take it a bit more seriously since its a major coping method.

    Also remember, lots of people don't/won't understad this lifestyle. But you're not hurting anyone, so the only one who needs to accept it is you. We're always here for you.

  10. #10

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    I think it's going to take time to get over this kind of hurt and setback. Give yourself some time and your feelings will come back eventually. Time has a way of healing these kinds of wounds. Keep yourself busy and do other things. Stay with us on this site, and maybe find some good diaper related stories, things to stoke the old fire back into full burn.

    As for your ex, she knew how she could most hurt you, and she used those specific comments. Don't let her win by defeating your desires. The most damaging thing you can do to her is to forgive her. I know it sounds weird, but if you can forgive her, you can genuinely move on. Then the only one who still has a problem is her, and she deserves it.

    As for your psychiatrist, you might want to find someone who knows more about infantalism and can be compassionate. If you're making progress in other, more important areas, stay with them.

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