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Thread: Luck, or lack thereof

  1. #1

    Default Luck, or lack thereof

    I wasn't sure where to post this, so forgive me if this isn't the place. This is really just me trying to vent, and it'll come off as a lot of whining but I have no other outlets, so please bear with me.

    My life has never been filled with prosperity, and after a failed attempt at going to college (another story altogether) I decided to move away from my small rural town. I'm in a much more urban area with my SO, but I came with nothing to my name (no car, no cash, etc).

    After getting a quick retail job within walking distance, I began my life here. We live with a roommate we thought worked due to my SO living with her previously, in a rather nasty part of town, but it's cheap.
    Issues cropped up quickly, the bottom floor appartment we rented flooded often, had bad bug issues, and management rarely did anything about either. Soon after we learned (unpleasantly) of our roommates eating disorder, bulimia.
    We attempted to help her, offering support and potential help, which she exploded at. Things deteriorated between us due to this. Coupled with her self-centered attitude and poor hygiene (something that wasn't previously an issue) we can rarely stay in the same room. Due to monetary issues and a hunk of debt for my SOs college tuition, we are unable to remedy this situation.

    I make 8.75 an hour, and that's after my boss fought for a .25 raise after I was offered 1% after my first year. I work very hard, and while they label me part time I usually work 36-39 hour weeks. They circumvent having to give me full time by lowering my hours once every three months to 27-32 hours for 2 weeks.
    I saved as much as I could, and in December of last year I took out a small personal loan for a car. It's to be payed over 12 months ending rather soon. The car was in great condition, but on a trip home some 200 miles away the starter went out. Easy enough to replace, but semi costly and leaving me without a car for 3 weeks.
    Things went ok for a few months, summer wasn't bad, and our lease ended in May so we switched to a third floor appartment. Same roommate but she claimed her SO was moving in as well. He's on the lease and even pays, but only visits once a month or so.
    We quickly learned we moved further into hell. My car was damaged by other tennants, and in august got broken into, though for some reason nothing was taken. Work got worse, and my only friend my age got moved to a different department.
    Fall hits, and we needed a break, so I put in for vacation time for the 21-23 of Oct. for a trip to Colorado. This would be my SOs birthday gift. Two weeks ago on Sunday the 19th, my car got stollen. Two days before we were leaving. I don't even care about the car, I was used to walking so much last year anyway, but my insides rend whenever I hear my girl try and tell me it's ok.

    The car hasn't been found, insurance says after a month they will put in a claim but I expect only around 400 due to the low value of the car. My hours have been cut so they won't have to give me full time, and they hired another worker to replace my friend. I'm broke. Financially, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I'm kinda puttering out so I'll wrap it up.
    As I said this neighborhood is worse, and I get looked at often (Caucasian in a largely African American demograph). If I get jumped I'm afraid I'll lose it. Hurt myself or them. Worse I don't even know what I'll do if my SO gets hurt. She already gets a lot of "attention".
    I guess I'm not looking for answers, just an ear. If you made it this far thanks for reading. Sorry for the wall of text. Take care all of you.

  2. #2


    I'm sorry life has dumped on you. It has a nasty habit of doing that. Starting with little often creates one difficult situation after another. My first full time job after college paid very little, so little that I was in the poverty level. I stuck with it, got raises, and eventually moved to where I got a better paying job.

    As tough as things are now, you should plan for your future. I'm not sure what you're trained in, but you should be looking for full time employment with benefits. You might want to consider a junior college and get some sort of skill. They also teach skills like plumbing, welding, being an electrician. I had a friend making big money laying tile.

    The important thing is to not give up, but do something about it. Remember that there are Pell grants and other kinds of financial help. If you go to a junior college, they have counselors who can help you.

    I had to re-invent my life when I lost my full time job at the end of the year 2000. I took a lot of education classes and got my certification as a teacher. I also got a part time job as a church music director. For a number of years I worked three years, as a teacher assistant, church musician, and keyboardist for a very good wedding, rock band. I went from unemployed to making $45,000 a year. It can be done, but you have to be your best advocate.

    By the way, being a teacher assistant pays better than what you are now making, and you get two weeks off for Christmas and the summer. You also get health insurance. You won't get rich but you'll have more than you do now.

  3. #3


    Thanks for taking the time to read and then give such a genuine reply dogboy, you've always been a favorite poster of mine.
    As to learning a trade, I've put a lot of thought into where I'm going soon. While it will have to wait until after I've recovered/fixed/purchased a vehicle, I've considered trade schools or apprenticeship most.
    My first attempt at going to college went well, I could pay for it with just pell grants and have very little debt afterwords. Until they canceled my on campus board due to overcrowding that is. So I put it off.
    Anyways, I really appreciate your advice, I am trying, but I'll have to pick myself up again first.

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