To start off this is not a post trying to find a person to date I am just looking for advice to help me determine what I should be looking for in a person and a way to best describe it online.
I apologize for being long winded but just need some help.
The past few weeks I am struggling with the question of what I am looking for in a person. I didn't like using fetlife and other certain dating sites. I am asking myself if I decide to try sites again, I am struggling with What to put in a profile that will best help me find a person for me that will not reject my profile upon viewing and will help them be more willing to get to know me further.
the main concern I say I have is that I say I am a switch. I do want to do the Daddy role, and I also want to be in the baby role. That is kinda the whole point of being switch. But the problem I find, is that most of the women I have come across are more into, not wanting a switch or they are worried that if I like to wear diapers that eventually I will want to be the baby all the time and they will not get as much little. I have not had chance to explore either side yet. So I can not say I am going to be a certain percentage of baby/daddy ratio. So I am having trouble with how to descried all this in a way that does not make them shy away from considering me. All I know for sure about my little side is that I need it when I am sick or feeling sad and mostly at night because my little side is more about getting affection and comfort and night is mostly when I feel lonely and sad. So I feel like I would need it most at night.
Secondly I am on disability, so therefore I am home all day. My biggest concern is that if I find someone and they work, the only time that we would have to explore would be at night. I am worried that we will have a conflict between who will get to be little at night because that person will be tired and worn out from work and less likely to want to be mommy.
Because of my type of disability sometimes I am in pain that can last several days, and that is when I feel like I need mommy the most, but also because I am in that pain I can not really be daddy during those times. It makes me feel like they will see me as demanding and being selfish and using it as an excuse to get out of giving them the time they need to be little. I do not want to feel like I am a burden to them. There is a possibility that my blindness will progress and I will no longer be able to fulfill my daddy duties. I worry how to explain that so there are no surprises in the future, with out them seeing that and instantly rejecting me because they will not want to take care of me more if that happens.
Sometimes I feel my baby to daddy ratio is 60/40. i want to be able to explain in a sense what percentage i am because I have been asked before how often I am daddy or baby. I can at least say how often I want to wear, but with not having fully explored that side I do not want to misrepresent myself or be accused of lying about it.
I am not sure what I should be looking for. Should I look for some one who is AB with a mommy side, or just a mommy who does not mind be little here and there or should I try to find someone who is incontinent yet open minded to the AB side of things. My concern is if I find someone that is AB I want My relationship to be based on adult life with the little stuff on the side. I like to have mature conversations. I don't mind the little talk, but I do not want to do constant role play. Doing that is an emotional bond for me and I get attached to easily, so I want to get to know a woman as an adult, I want to actually know about the adult aspects of her life first and foremost. Then we can explore the AB side of life. In the past I have had it where if a woman is AB she jumps right into wanting to be treated like a little with out even getting to know each other first as adults and does not want to have any "big" conversations. Also they tend to just not want to have that mommy side and talk like an adult. I also do not want a mommy that only wants me to be a baby. I do not really do the baby talk. I have had times when talking to someone about normal life and adult things, they turn around and tell me a little boy should not talk like that.
Another this is I have been told when I have talked to incontinent women and say that I do not mind that they need to wear, they have come out and said "well that is because you are into the diapers." It hurt my feelings that they think that just because I am into diapers, that I can't actually care about them and support them for who they are, and not just because they are in diapers.
I am also worried that asking an incontinent person to be mommy or little will cause them to get upset. How do I bring up this sensitive subject without them having negative feelings toward me or the community. I have seen those who are incontinent talk about how the AB community has treated them and I want to find a way ask the question with out making the situation worse or causing them to have more negative feeling toward the ABDL community.
So I am looking for advice on how to start general conversations because at this point all I would know about this woman is that she is either incontinent, ABDL, or a mommy. I am not good at starting conversations outside of Hi, how are you, how you doing and asking the general what do you like type of thing. I wanted to get perspective from the women on what they like a guy to talk about in order to get to know them better as a person. I just want to know how do I describe myself and what kind of person I am looking for, how to start a conversation and keep a person interested, because I always feel I am not the most interesting person, and many women, if you can not keep their interest, will move on to the next person. So I am just looking for help here.
PS. keep in mind that my living situation is such that I can not not explore my little/daddy side privately until I save up the money to move. So please do not comment that I should explore this side before looking for anyone, because I can not do so in my current situation.