Firstly, I must admit I have not posted much up to this point. I have, however, been thinking quite a bit lately over some of my thoughts and desires concerning my interest in diapers and related effects. While I feel I have become more comfortable and accepting of myself on many levels/issues of enjoying diapers, I still have a couple thoughts that have decided to pop around on occasion. I have gotten fairly comfortable with wearing diapers in most instances, be it to work (though I usually don't since my current job can require crawling through restrictive areas of KC135 refuel tankers), out and about with friends and family (of which only my girlfriend and step-mother are aware that I like and/or wear diapers), or just kicking around wherever by myself.
This is all fine, well, and good. But I tend to over think things on occasion... Maybe it's just thinking, not necessarily "over" thinking.
I look at myself and I see a man. Granted I know this man has a side that must (as a necessity for day to day outward societal conformity) stay either put away or at least outwardly suppressed. When I do wear diapers out and about, I still resemble one of the unassuming masses. My own mind, however, knows the truth of this grown up little boy. This truth is what has lead to many an errant thought always gnawing, asking, and taunting... "Are you a man, or just some other sad example of someone who's screwed up in the brainpan?" When I have this conflict arise, I usually get a mix of feelings and thoughts. The feeling are usually of envy or jealousy. Jealous of the Littles that are able to regress further than I apparently can. To seemingly be able to shut down or escape from a lot of the stressors that plague them. Thought wise, I tend to think of what is considered by others to be the accepted definition of an educated man. I know I did not say "educated" until a moment ago. I feel at this point life has wisened me enough to realize I don't need to shoot for a "manly" man status, I should aim for the more refined and preferably educated man status. I read recently that a possible definition of an educated man could be along the lines of: A man that can entertain himself, entertain others around him, and entertain new ideas is the better consideration of an educated man. Following this line of verse and logic...
I ought to be just fine.
As long as I maintain composure while playing the constant balance between grown up and little boy that is..
Are there other people that have ideas along these lines on occasion? Please let me know.. Curiosity and the cat thing on that note..
Thanks for reading and putting up with my rambling freight train of thought.. I sometimes don't know how I deal with it all by myself...
"The civilized man is a more experienced and wiser savage."
Henry Thoreau, Walden