My grandpa died of lung cancer when I was 9. At that age I didn't understand that lung cancer was going to kill him. I thought he was going to get better and everything would be alright. So I didn't spend the last few days of his life the way I should have. I blame myself for this even though I know I shouldn't. I think the fact he was the only positive contact I had with my family for so many years makes it worse. My parents abused me so I can't really say that was a positive relationship. But back to my question, I really want to stop blaming myself but I don't know how. I still remember exactly when he died. December 22nd, 9:07 a.m.