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Thread: "All these kids are in diapers, what's with that?"

  1. #1

    Default "All these kids are in diapers, what's with that?"

    I was at the mall yesterday with my son, just two of us alone and I took him to the play area so he could play. There are a bunch of other kids playing and they all look three or four. The parent sitting close to me says "All these kids have diapers on, whats with that?" I was left speechless and didn't know what to say so I said instead "My son isn't in them" and she says "Mine isn't either" and she points out each kid that has one on.

    It was interesting she knew they had diapers on and I didn't take notice. Then I noticed their big butts and I just assumed they were their normal butts. Then finally I saw this one chubby girl and she looked to be about my son's age looking at her fingers and then her pants ride down and her size 6 diaper shows.

    It's common today for kids to still be in diapers at three or four but that is still a common debate in the parenting community about when kids should be out of diapers by and parents get all judge when a kid is still in them.

    I was also wearing a diaper and I wonder how she would have reacted if she saw I had one on. But I had on overalls so I had no way for them to stick out if I bent down. I just felt this situation to be ironic. But going by the tone, she sounded critical like she didn't approve and she called it ridiculous. I didn't even say some kids are trained late and some are hard to train or are not ready because this is a controversial issue among parents. I honestly didn't care which kid was still in diapers or not so I didn't have any opinion about it. I am just glad I still don't have to buy them for my son or change them or wash them like those parents do.
    Last edited by Calico; 28-Oct-2014 at 06:37.

  2. #2

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    Personally I think the woman bringing up a touchy topic like that with a random stranger is a bit of a faux pas. But yeah, I can see it could be a pretty ironic situation when one's diapered too.

  3. #3

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    Personally, I don't think it's really any parent's business commenting publicly on the development stages of other peoples' kids. If you're concerned by the child's late or stilted development in doing something, talk to the parents about it. Don't just bring the topic up with someone you've just met and don't know!

    That said, I think as a general rule, kids shouldn't be using diapers/pacis/crawling or any other little behaviour beyond the point where they actually need to. If the kid wants to get back in diapers once they're older, or start using a paci as a teen, that's fine.

    Children become better adjusted by giving up babyish mechanisms at a certain age (though if there are health issues affecting their development, that might affect if or when they can do so).

    Unless a kid of 4 years old is IC or has a disability which stops them from using the potty or toilet properly, the parents shouldn't be encouraging/allowing them to still wear diapers.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Calico View Post
    It's common today for kids to still be in diapers at three or four but that is still a common debate in the parenting community about when kids should be out of diapers by and parents get all judge when a kid is still in them.
    it has been for years, but that's all about 'my kid is better than yours' snobbery. the reality is that there is no debate as, in years gone by, kids who needed to be in diapers weren't and with the subsequent messes that i've pointed out before. but that's also part of the changing nature of motherhood and childhood: yesteryear, children weren't so often taken to public places because of their messes, and that also put greater onus on the mother to stay at home and mother them.

    back in the 90s, i had the job of cleaning up after after a kid's mess, left in one of those ballpit funhouse things. kids ain't changed, adults have.
    and i kind of get the impression that a lot of adults are now too lazy to even do the once 'lazy' thing of using disposable diapers on kids who need them.

  5. #5

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    The way I see it, it's not anyone's business if a kid is still in diapers or not. The only person it should concern is the kid's parents. Some kids develop slower than others. Some become ready later. Some have other complications that prevent them from using the toilet.

    Now that's not to say they should be in diapers past the point that they need to be. If they want to go back to diapers later in life, that's their choice. But I think it's a parent's job to get their kid out of diapers as soon as humanly possible. If that's at 4 or 5 because of complications or slow development, then so be it.

  6. #6

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    The hard stop is school age (~5 for most kids). Many schools have rules that kids needs to be toilet trained in order to properly start school. There are exceptions for disabilities of course, but even if a child is allowed in with diapers, it can be a really challenging experience because the teachers are often not licensed to change the child and not every school has a nurse.

    If you haven't gotten your kid out of diapers by kindergarten, it's time to hurry it up because it creates real administrative problems and you might wind up with the school principal personally interested in you because he/she's the only person allowed to even change the diapers in the whole building.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    Personally I think the woman bringing up a touchy topic like that with a random stranger is a bit of a faux pas. But yeah, I can see it could be a pretty ironic situation when one's diapered too.
    I find that what a person considers touchy seems to recalibrate when you're a parent. The boss I had last Spring has a 2 year old son. One day I was meeting her in her office to go over some things. Door was closed and as we're talking she casually lifts her shirt, opens her bra, and starts using a breast pump. Literally didn't miss a beat in our conversation. For her it was just as natural as taking notes or clicking a pen.

  8. #8

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    Personally, I think there are a lot of factors involved. Lower class people with not much money. I've also seen in my area tons of people on welfare with children as old as 6 still in full time diapers. I am not trying to be against a group of people but these people yell at their kids, weight like 400 pounds and you get the idea (from newspapers and media) that they sit around all day doing not a thing and the more kids they have the more money they get from the state. It makes me think that perhapse if their kids are in diapers they get more money for supplies. I also know many are just lazy. Then you have the people who work full time and I think they tend to put off potty training until much later because of being so busy all the time. After a hard day at work, you just want to relax. Maybe some are just too wrapped up in their internet to want to do the potty training thing. Some may just thik it's easier to keep their kids in diapers than to attempt potty training and have to deal with accidents and reminding their kids to use the potty. I also think that there isn't the same mindset with younger parents today as there was 50 years ago with cloth diapers. There are so many different disposable diapers that just makes everything so easy for parents. Even goodnites and pull ups for older kids. With all the commercials and even adult disposable underwear, I thik society, at least in some ways, doesn't put as much importance on early potty training now days as it used to.

  9. #9

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    I don't think it's a certain age bracket, I've seen many situations that kids were still diapered. There's one time I've seen a kid that had to be at least 4 that was in the postal office sucking on a pacifier, until he reached for a sippy cup, I didn't even think about him wearing a diaper. He didn't seem delayed, he would speak in sentences. Unless these people were putting up a front, it seemed like they were well off, especially since they drove off in a Mercedes. It's not just an income bracket. Tom Cruise was ridiculed for having a daughter in diapers after 5.

    There has to be a point in time when people need to stop worrying about this. They have no idea what's going on. The parent could be working long hours without the time to spend raising a kid.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    The hard stop is school age (~5 for most kids). Many schools have rules that kids needs to be toilet trained in order to properly start school. There are exceptions for disabilities of course, but even if a child is allowed in with diapers, it can be a really challenging experience because the teachers are often not licensed to change the child and not every school has a nurse.

    If you haven't gotten your kid out of diapers by kindergarten, it's time to hurry it up because it creates real administrative problems and you might wind up with the school principal personally interested in you because he/she's the only person allowed to even change the diapers in the whole building.
    This.

    Oddly enough, it was breastfeeding rather than diapers that was almost a problem for us with Maxx Junior. He was potty trained 2ish I think, but was 4 (and riding a bike without training wheels...) before Mom got him off the boob entirely. I find it hard to fault him on that.

    Edit: Now that he has wife and daughter of his own (almost 1), I find myself wondering occasionally if he has taken advantage of this limited time breastfeeding opportunity. Of course that's a question I can't and wouldn't ask either of them...
    Last edited by Maxx; 28-Oct-2014 at 20:33.

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