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Thread: Difference between Nurse and Caretaker?

  1. #1

    Default Difference between Nurse and Caretaker?

    Hi everybody!

    Could someone tell me the difference between Nurse or Caretaker, because in France I looking for someone who would like to take care of me but I wouldn't like to pay. I'm looking for tenderness and (maternal) love and I think, what I look for can't be buy.
    Is it posible to fond someone who can take care of me because he or she want and not to have more cash?
    Is it the real difference between Caretaker and Nurse?

    Thanx for your help!

  2. #2

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    A nurse is a job description and has specific skills depending on the kind of nurse. I suppose it can be more vague in the "I'm going over to stay with X and nurse them back to health" sense but if you're looking for a nurse, I would say the general expectation would be that it's a job of some kind.

    Caregiving can also be a job but there are also smaller cultures (ours for one) that uses it in a different sense. If you couch your request in the right way, I think most will be able to understand what you're looking for or at least start asking the right questions for clarification. As I see it, a caretaking relationship in our sense starts in friendship. I know you can mechanically go through the process without being friends but if you're going to get someone to do it in an ongoing way, your odds are way better in finding someone who cares about you rather than just really enjoys taking care of random people.

    Lastly, I'm going to toss in my usual counterpoint in this: while I understand the desire not to cheapen care with money, we do this all the time in regular life. Nurses, nannies, babysitters, daycare workers, therapists, just to name a few are paid to care and we don't worry about that. Why must money ruin this?

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    Nurses, nannies, babysitters, daycare workers, therapists, just to name a few are paid to care and we don't worry about that. Why must money ruin this?
    I agree in theory, but if think there's a key difference between the things you've mentioned, which are occupations, and what the OP is describing, which is a search for a someone to genuinely care for them, in every sense of the word.

    Granted, I think finding an ABDL carer who's willing to look after you for free (despite their being no previous bond) is wildly unlikely, but in a pure sense, I understand the OP's wish not to pay money for this kind of nurturing experience - because you want that tender care because you're you, and not because you have disposable income. I don't think anyone's ever gone to a Therapist - to use one of your examples - and asked them to change their diaper and sing them a lullaby (at least I hope not). That's not someone you'd typically want to form the kind of bond with, that you'd look for in an AB caretaker.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by SirNapsALot View Post
    I agree in theory, but if think there's a key difference between the things you've mentioned, which are occupations, and what the OP is describing, which is a search for a someone to genuinely care for them, in every sense of the word.

    Granted, I think finding an ABDL carer who's willing to look after you for free (despite their being no previous bond) is wildly unlikely, but in a pure sense, I understand the OP's wish not to pay money for this kind of nurturing experience - because you want that tender care because you're you, and not because you have disposable income. I don't think anyone's ever gone to a Therapist - to use one of your examples - and asked them to change their diaper and sing them a lullaby (at least I hope not). That's not someone you'd typically want to form the kind of bond with, that you'd look for in an AB caretaker.
    I suppose it also depends on what kind of commitment one is seeking. I understand that my examples are not the same but they are kinds of care and we pay for people to provide them. If it's an occasional thing, I don't see that there's any substantial difference between paying for that and paying a babysitter. If one seeks something more substantial or even full time (just being theoretical here) I can see where it's more than babysitter and again one that either requires substantial investment (money or relationship) to consider making that work. I think someone who was willing to do this without that emotional commitment is likely to be a caring person in general or they would not seek such employment or receive engagement from what I'd say would likely be a persnickety client.

    Having said all that, I know someone who put out ads seeking platonic caregiving with no money involved and while none met his (I would say overly exacting) standards, he got serious responses. I just think that ruling out money decisively before even starting limits the potential pool for someone who really wants this.

  5. #5

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    If someone is a healthcare professional, he or she deserves to be paid - and paid well! - for their time.

    The difference between the scenario Trevor describes and actual practice (for most ABs or DLs) lies in any degree of sexual arousal. As a babysitter taking care of small children, a young woman (or man) doesn't expect to be subjected to overt sexual arousal. From my experience, most healthcare professionals don't either, but they do a better job of ignoring it when it does happen. If the AB or DL is male and there's some sexual overtone to the experience of being cared for, the arousal element is pretty evident. At that point, there is substantial difference between paying for that care and paying for an ordinary babysitter.

    I'm not making any judgments about the OP, but I think that expecting to find someone who care for you at no cost is extremely unrealistic.
    Last edited by sbmccue; 24-Oct-2014 at 00:29.

  6. #6

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    I don't think money is the difference, its a matter of skills, qualifications, and certification. I'm thinking of my aged neighbor who has a caretaker during the day and a (male)nurse at night.

    A caretaker keeps an eye on you so you pee in the toilet, not the refrigerator.

    A nurse can sedate you so you don't pee in either.

    Theoretically, skills and qualifications cost more, but neither is free.

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