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Thread: Regression at home because of depression.

  1. #1

    Default Regression at home because of depression.

    Hey everybody, hope you're all doing good. I'm not sure how I'm doing. I've been having ups and downs lately. For those who don't know, I'm 23 years old and I'm suffering from depression. I was diagnosed with Manic Depressive Illness when I was 16, and now I'm having the biggest crisis ever. There seems to be some childhood traumas as well, according to the many psycologists that have seen me, and are still trying to determine what's really wrong with me.

    Anyway, I'm writing to you all because I started having REAL regressions at home because of this emotional jumbleness. This is what happened:

    I was trying to sleep one night, but I was feeling bad so I asked my mom to watch me as I fall asleep. She stayed with me until she thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. The moment she left I cried for her. Not real cry, but you know what I mean. She had to return and continue watching me sleep, I just felt really bad when she was not there.

    Now, this is the most embarrassing part. The following night I was feeling so bad I actually asked my parents if I could sleep with them. They let me, despite me being almost 24 years old. To my surprise...I wet the bed. It was so embarrassing, because it was my parents' mattress and it happened while sleeping with them. I felt so little the following morning.

    So, those two incidents started making me the little boy at home. My mom asked me to wear diapers the next day at bedtime. For some ABDL that would be a dream, but I'm not sure what to think of it.

    What do you think of it?

  2. #2

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    I've got a few thoughts. First, it sounds like your parents are being really supportive and going out of their way to try and help you with your problems.

    Two, it's good that you can use the regression to help cope with your problems. It's better than being unable sleep or feeling pain and fear all the time.

    Three, I think that you have to treat this as a temporary thing. You can't rely on regressing forever, and it's too much to ask if your parents to always treat you as little. If it gets you through the next few days or weeks while the doctors figure stuff out, it's great. But long-term, you want to be able to do things for yourself and not suffer from the depression and crisis that are hitting you now.

    Good luck!

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    Two, it's good that you can use the regression to help cope with your problems. It's better than being unable sleep or feeling pain and fear all the time.
    !
    And it is better that you can use regression to fall asleep than it is to be using prescriptions, healthier on the body.


    I'd say that if you end up needing to sleep in the bed with them than you had better wear a diaper. Dream or not, it is going to be a nuisance for them if you don't, or at least empty your bladder and make sure you don't drink a few hours before, but I would hate that, I hate feeling thirsty.


    Do you have any stuffed animals you can sleep with? Maybe you need a really big stuffed animal you can sleep with and feel protected. Also I would suggest looking into getting a weighted blanket, I have heard a lot of positive results from those things, and I slept with one once and it was crazy nice, you feel much more protected.

    If it becomes a really big problem, maybe you need to consider getting a fair size dog who can sleep with you or something to that nature.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Just curious, do your parents know about your regressive behaviors?

  4. #4

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    In my experience, regression is more common when depressed, but that may be because I use diapers as an outlet to get stress and frustration out of my system. It's a good coping mechanism.

    It seems like your parents are specatcular at what they do, and they are doing the best they can to make sure that you get through your night safe and sound. There's nothing wrong with asking for help to sleep, regardless of what form that help comes in. To other people it may sound weird and off, but those people most likely haven't experienced what you experience on a day-to-day basis. It's also a good thing that your parents are allowing your diaper usage, although I'm unsure if they are doing it soley to prevent bedwetting or if they are aware that it may help you cope and deal with stress easier.

  5. #5

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    I've been there. I had a period of a couple weeks a year or so back (so same age, 23) where my stress with OCD was so severe that I couldn't get to sleep unless my Dad tucked me in and gave me lots of hugs. One or two nights I even needed him to stay and read a book to me whilst I lay in bed - not a baby book, but basically I needed the experience of being little and nurtured, of getting tucked in and having someone read me a bedtime story.

    What I'd say is not to worry about this too much for now - not just because worrying can be damaging to your mood and cause your brain to go into anxiety overdrive, but also because to a greater or lesser extent, we all need to rely on each other for comfort sometimes. It's something which virtually everyone experiences.

    If you're going a number of days or weeks and repeatedly needing to sleep in your parents' bed or getting separation anxiety, then I'd say there's a legitimate problem and you probably need to see a therapist. However, if it's just a few nights in a month of needing your Mom and Dad nearby when your depression really flares up, I'd say it's not a particularly big concern. The bigger issue is trying to get your head right and identifying the root causes of your depression - not worrying if you cause your folks the odd sleepless night and a rare damp mattress.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by kik91 View Post
    I was trying to sleep one night, but I was feeling bad so I asked my mom to watch me as I fall asleep. She stayed with me until she thought I was asleep, but I wasn't. The moment she left I cried for her. Not real cry, but you know what I mean. She had to return and continue watching me sleep, I just felt really bad when she was not there.
    Is anything bothering you to cause an alarm like this? Have you put together any signs that might be your solution. Sometimes there CAN be trigger's or maybe you love your mother that much that you don't want anything to do with her. I would "to" be upset if I haven't seen my mom for awhile. Why not do a few experiments and see what's the main nerve that keeps breaking inside you. It could also be something your trying to regress inside you. Maybe your having thoughts that could cause this with your illness? Maybe there is something bigger than that? Hmm...



    Quote Originally Posted by kik91
    Now, this is the most embarrassing part. The following night I was feeling so bad I actually asked my parents if I could sleep with them. They let me, despite me being almost 24 years old. To my surprise...I wet the bed. It was so embarrassing, because it was my parents' mattress and it happened while sleeping with them. I felt so little the following morning.
    That could be alarming right there. I hope things would get better for you. It's not embarrassing if your 23 years old sleeping with your mother. I'm sure there are older people out there sleeping with there moms. Moms are very special and dear to us so I wouldn't say that you would feel bad for that. Now for the wetting accident, that's another story you can break into two. Let's see, have you been raised differently and now your childhood dramas are coming back to haunt you with a follow-up learn segment? That might be something you will have to discover on your own. Only you can flip the switch off. You also could have used the bathroom before you went to bed with her. There was probably some liquid inside you that you haven't disposed yet probably from last night's dinner. That CAN happen, as long as you don't really think about it, things will be a little bit easier on you. It's not like any permanent damage is happening so that's not a big concern if your mother is doing this to you, she seems worried is all and you can easily calm her down.



    Quote Originally Posted by kik91
    So, those two incidents started making me the little boy at home. My mom asked me to wear diapers the next day at bedtime. For some ABDL that would be a dream, but I'm not sure what to think of it.

    What do you think of it?
    That would be a fantasy for an AB/DL is having their mother diaper them almost every night or something like that. Your probably thinking "yay?" but your more concerned about this little problem you have. Here's an idea. This "may" be a connection but keep a dream journal and whatever dreams you have plus your activities in rel life, put two and two together to see what you come with. I would first get used to the idea because you want to get off any stress levels you might be having. Then put some puzzle pieces together and finally come up with your solution. If your having trouble trying to adapt to this new nature, there here's a neat idea! Why don't you ask your mother (If she is) still treat you like an adult and let you work this thing out. Wait a week, and see if anything new has happened to this little experiment.

    As for the wetting issue if you think this will be a think, just use the bathroom before you go to bed (Unless your mom is making you wear diapers) get up sometimes in the middle of the night and empty your bladder. That should fix a pipe leak right there.

  7. #7

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    Thank you, everybody, for your support and kind replies. It has been the worst two weeks of my life, but both my psychiatrist and psychologist are making real study into my head. I had to do a Neuropsychological testing and a bunch of studies. Seem I have personality issues plus the chemical unbalance in my head. All that is due to being abused as a child (not by my family) and that we didn't cope with the illness at first. According to my therapist yesterday, I have some sort of Emotional Immaturity that they're still looking into. Seems my emotions didn't go past the toddler stage, and are acting up after reminiscing my sad childhood.

    It's confusing and scary, for both me and my family. We've been dealing with the illness for a long time, but this is a "new development". So yeah, it's kinda frustrating and bothersome.

    About the regressions, they're still happening but less frequent. I don't sleep with my parents anymore but I still need some sort of cuddling during the day. The doctor said I wet the bed because indeed I was really stressed out and needed some release. Seems my mind works better with my emotions when I'm feeling infantile. So, we're dealing with that. So far I've been sucking my thumb (always been a closet thumbsucker) more often and sometimes in front of my family. I didn't realize my mom was watching me in reality, but she was okay with it saying "suck your thumb if it makes you feel better". My dad and sister are also supportive, caught me sucking my thumb a couple of times though it's sometimes embarrassing because she's 21 so I'm older. There has been some sort of role-reversal there, because lately I've been behaving like the little brother. The doctor mentioned it's important that I feel secure so everybody is treating differently, cautiously. I really don't know what to think about it.

    I've been wearing diapers to bed for a week, though I do it because they make me feel better rather than actual bedwetting. I just had two accidents, the one I wrote you about and another one in my diaper.

    It's just been hectic, I've never seen my parents so upset and crying because they were worried about me. Makes me feel guilty, yet I somewhat enjoy the attention. I think, in my mind, or at least in my emotions, I AM becoming a little boy.

    Thanks everybody for your support, love you guys.

  8. #8

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    I can't add much more than has already been said, except that I had some similar problems when I was in college. My story (often repeated here...sorry) is that one weekend I returned home from college, and during dinner, began to cry and I couldn't stop. A few days later I was seeing a psychiatrist at a residential mental facility. Now they know that there are certain locations in the brain that can trigger uncontrolled crying or laughing. There are other causes as well. In my case, I was having a psychotic break.

    I think the important thing is to keep seeing your doctors and listen to what they have to say. Your goal is to get better. I eventually made it, but I changed my entire life. Some things still stuck, like liking diapers, and that was discussed with my psychiatrist as well. Hang in there and try to keep busy.

    I've always worked as a musician, and that has helped me most of the time. Sometimes it causes stress, but usually it brings joy. I wish you the best.

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