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Thread: Step father and step brother.

  1. #1

    Default Step father and step brother.

    Okay, where do I start?
    Well my step father and step brothers moved into my mothers in 2008. There was yelling, screaming, abuse etc going so mother kicked them out in 2012. Step father and mother have been talking on and off. Step father got rushed to hosptial on Monday night. He is a sick guy but no excuses for how he treated myself and my brother. But anyway, mother told me today that step father and step brother are moving back in. I have a baby of my own, I dont want him to witness the same sh*t I went through back in 2008-2012. Its rough enough as is. Step brother has been an ass to me since ive been here supporting my mother. Shes not doing anything to help. I just want to leave home and start a new life with my son. But I dont want to leave my brother behind ... im in a hard place.

    If you can, please give me some nice advice it will help.

    Thank you xxxx

  2. #2


    I don't blame you for wanting to get out. Is that an option? You say you are supporting your mother, does that mean financial support? If you can find the means to support yourself that would seem to be the best option. You don't provide a lot of information but, depending on the financial possibilities, maybe your brother could live with you if you moved out. It would depend on how old and mature he was. Maybe he could contribute to the household income or handle the babysitting while you worked. Is the baby's father in the picture?

  3. #3


    I forgot to add my brother is special needs. Baby's father wants nothing to do with us, he doesn't support us at all.

  4. #4


    We don't know anything about your brother from this but you are clearly responsible for your child. If it is that bad, and you can't make your mother see it, you need to remove yourself and your child. After that, you can see what can be done for the benefit of the rest of your family.

    *Added after information on your brother

    He creates an additional complication but I think ultimately, the choice is the same. You can't allow your probably well-founded concern for his well-being lead to paralysis. Is there a state agency that provides any assistance for him? Do your best for him but he isn't your ultimate responsibility.

  5. #5


    I can't afford to move out at the moment. I always support my mother with the financial sh*t.

  6. #6


    I hat to say it, but the most effective alternative is that if either your step father and/or step brother does anything that is of the nature of physical contact to your brother, mother, you and especially the child then by all means call 911.
    If you are doing it to protect your child you have no need to worry about having your child taken away.
    There is more that can be done, but it is very touchy as to getting things to stick.

    I hope you the best of situations and it does not come to that.

  7. #7

  8. #8


    Yes, I was going to say you're older than you were in 2008. You need to insist that your boundaries be respected. He's now the interloper and certainly, not you. And if the step brother is a problem, suggest he find his own place to live. Ultimately, save up so you can move with your baby. As Trevor said, this is your first and most important responsibility.

  9. #9


    This scenario reminds me of Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car".

    Sometimes the best way to find clarity is to escape the rubble. We all deserve to have the chance at our own way. You didn't create such a toxic environment and in such a way should not feel bad in distancing yourself and your son from it.

    A new horizon sometimes takes a leap of faith. Good luck.

  10. #10


    Well, the good news is they aren't moving back with us. I feel more safe about that.

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