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Thread: In need of serious advice/ help.

  1. #1

    Default In need of serious advice/ help.

    Hello, If it is okay i'd like to keep myself anonymous for this post as what I am about to discuss is quite frankly very uncomfortable for me. Now I will not be going into too much depth about my own life unless someone wants to contact me privately on something else like leagues (as you could tell from my name) or teamspeak or something.

    Lets get started with this, I recently turned 18 about a week ago and upon having my special birthday realized I was now an adult and needed to start to solving some of my personal issues with more confidence if I am ever going to be happy. I live with chronic stress, from everything from my school life to my personal life. I do get picked on semi-often at school, but I think I might be too over emotional because I know its just my friends and they mean no harm. Nonetheless, my stress lately has reached proportions that I no longer thought were possible. I'm an athlete (I run cross country/ track and play soccer), and despite the fact that I try to keep myself in really good shape, I have found myself gaining a bit of weight. I know my diet and I know my training regime and know that there had to be some other reason for this, and it all makes me think its because of how over stressed I get. I also have been finding myself getting sick a lot more often and i have went on long periods of depression. If its worth pointing out I also have a mild form of autism (Aspergers) and I always thought I grew out of it due to how normal I thought I was up until recent.

    So as for the reason i'm currently on this site, lets start off with the fact that I am and have been night-time incontinent for the past three years. I have done very well at hiding these issues from my parents or anyone else because i'm self conscious about it and want to live a normal life. As grueling for me as this is to say, It has recently come to my concern that the only way to get my life back in line is to find an outlet to relieve stress and anxiety, and i'm just now realizing that wearing diapers before I go to sleep might be the only way. None of my friends or my parents would suspect me of having these types of feelings, even though I can get a bit emotional at times due to some of my stress-related issues. Since I am now 18 I feel that I need to confront some of these personal issues, perhaps with my parents or perhaps by myself, I do not know yet. I will be going off to college soon and I would be way too uncomfortable wetting myself every other night with no house-hold to feel safe at, which is why I am here.

    I will also say this, I, like many of you, have slight sexual desires for this aswell. But I can say the same about sex and I feel the main reason I need to tackle this has much more to do with an outlet to relieve stress and anxiety. Heck, even typing this up has calmed down my nerves so much just because its great to feel I am in an area where I know I could be accepted more easily (such as these forums).

    If you guys could give me some input or maybe some future advice I would really appreciate it, I don't want to ruin the rest of my life living in depression knowing it needed to be solved the second this came along. Thanks for all who read to this point and I heavily appreciate knowing I can connect with some people here who might be going through the same issues.

    Let me add that, despite some other urges, I do not want to be treated like a baby and what not, I simply just want a way to relax and if that means wearing a diaper then its what I must do to save my personal health. I obviously can't control this nor my night-time incontinence so any advice possible would be heavily appreciated.

    Thanks guys

  2. #2

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    Dear Zedmain,

    Firstly, it's natural to feel self conscious about a medical condition, especially one like incontinence which can strike without warning. There's probably no advice I can give other than that the older you get, the more you'll be dealing with people who have the experience and maturity to just accept that you have a medical condition.

    I have a muscle-wasting disease and need help with certain things. I sometimes feel embarrassed about being out in public and whoever I'm with having to help me tie my shoes and perhaps even let me hold onto their arm if it's slippery underfoot. I know my condition is different to yours, but I think for all overt medical issues, people generally understand your problems. I've known several people with varying degrees of IC, and it's never changed the way I feel about any of them. Unless your family are particularly unreasonable, I'd be surprised if they're anything less than supportive about your IC. It's not like you decided to have the problem, and I'm sure they'd be as keen as you are to try and find ways to help you manage the issues that surround being IC.

    As for college, it's tough going somewhere new for anyone, and health issues are bound to exacerbate that. That said, I'd be sorry to see anyone miss out on the experience of going to a College they'd love to, because they're self-conscious or worried about a medical condition. I'm sure IC is very tough to deal with, but I think a medical problem becomes much more severe once you let your fears about it dictate the big decisions in your life.

    If you find diapers relaxing, then wear them. For some, wearing is a comfort, for others a medical safety-net, and for some people, a sexual experience. It sounds like you get all three of those 'benefits' from diaper wearing, so I personally think that wearing is a good idea for you (and provided you don't wear skinny jeans, they can be worn discreetly).

    Anyway, getting a worry off your chest and opening yourself up to accept advice is a great first step. Please don't hesitate to PM me if you ever feel like things are getting to be too difficult, and you want an impartial ear to vent at.

  3. #3

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    Well let me start off by saying that you are not alone with issues like this. I would recommend that you go see a doctor and therapist immediately. The reason why you would want to see a doctor is because of the bed wetting issues. Incontinence is always caused by a medical condition which could get worse as time goes by if not properly treated. The reason why You should go see a therapist is because if you don't you will most likely suffer damage on a mental health basis if you don't. I myself have mental health issues as well and I know in ways that are not wholesome to describe that the damage done to me is going to effect me negatively for the rest of my natural life. You do not have to go through that nightmare but your going to need help doing so. I am not blind to the fact that you do not want to tell anyone about this but if you don't I suspect that your going to be hurt. That being said you are 18 now and thus you can go see someone and not be concerned about your parents being informed of whatever you tell the doctor or Therapist as long as you are not showing yourself to be a credible threat to either yourself or anyone else. You see By law neither a doctor nor a Therapist are even allowed to give out that information to even your parents without your written consent or your a possible threat to yourself or other's. I will have further advice for on other posts on this thread but right now I simply see the advice I have given you to be more important for your immediate problems. I will help you with your long term issues by giving you advice as well as other's when I am sure your in no immediate trouble.

    Also I did want to mention we do have some things in common with each other I just do not have the time right now to explain it that's all. I have Asperger's as well. Please do not think for one minute your being a burden to anyone by seeking help for these issues. Everyone on this planet no matter how great or small they may be requires help at some point without exception in order to live in peace.

  4. #4

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    Well like heres the thing, I definitely would not miss out on college. I'm a pretty smart individual and feel I have a pretty good future ahead of me provided I stick with it, so thats an entirely different concern. The issue with this is that, well like I want to be accepted as a regular individual in anything I do and generally am. In my school I guess you could say i'm one of the more popular people simply because I play sports and stuff and still do well in school. But like I feel like an emotional mess when i'm by myself and can hardly bear some of the feelings I get. This hasn't exactly been the first time I began to think about wearing diapers as this sort of urge managed to stick with me since I was about 10. I just hate knowing the fact that something as taboo as this conflicts with my actual life and it feels so weird to even think about this. Plus I don't know how I would go about even letting my parents know about this, even though I know they will always be here for me. If I were to go through with it I would have to explain it to them obviously in as distant in a way as possible. My mom knows i'm very, very stressed out, especially because i'm in something called IB which involves 10-20 orals/ presentations per semester, some even going as long as 30-45 minutes and some being timed. I wouldn't even want to be "changed", I would want this to be a completely personal thing to relieve stress and bring some of my life back into order the most 'correct' way possible in how I emotionally feel. If there was any way to know people would understand i'm not doing this to change my lifestyle completely and just want a bit of, lets say meditation with this, then I would feel alot better.
    Last edited by Zedmain; 14-Oct-2014 at 22:01. Reason: @ SirNapsALot

  5. #5

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    I think you need to simply accept that you are at least a diaper lover. this is a part of who and what you are and that this is never going to stop and this is never going to go away even if you want it to go away or not. That being said I am going to show you some articles that are actually on this site to help you with dealing with this. If you simply try to ignore these desires here's a article on what can happen if you do that
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/showthrea...ge-Purge-Cycle


    I think this article will help you feel much better as I myself used to have the same problem as you are having now (although for a much shorter time) and this article helped me a lot.
    http://www.adisc.org/forum/showthrea...ing-Of-Diapers

    If you plan to eventually go out to your parents with this I would recommend that you read these links right here because this site has useful advice on just this sort of thing. Please keep in mind this is still relevant to you even though your legally a adult and this link is intended for parents of someone who is a AB/DL that happens to be minor. This is still relevant because you definitely need acceptance of this. Both acceptance of yourself as well as acceptance from your parents.

    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/informat...drenteens.html
    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/abdl-pho...out-abdls.html
    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/coming-out.html
    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/how-not-to-come-out.html

    Those last 4 links are there only if there's a possibility that your going to tell your parents. It's up to you if you want to do that and in fact You may very well have a good legitimate reason to not tell them that I may very well not be aware of. In either case if you are having bed wetting issues please go see a doctor. Incontinence issues are always the result of medical issues that could cause you serious grief down the road but you might be able to get it fixed with no long term medical issues coming from this. You can set up a appointment with your doctor and not tell anyone but your doctor about this and even your parents will be none the wiser. And I would have to highly recommend you get a therapist when you go off to college or some place else to get help there to. No one has to know about this unless you want them to know about this. A therapist is most likely not going to make you stop doing this. Chances are the therapist is going to simply help you learn how to simply control these desires of yours and help you from this becoming a problem. I know that's why my therapist did for me so far.

  6. #6

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    Ok well let me start off by saying this, lets say hypothetically I were to discuss this with my parents (Which i'm going to have to do at some point or another), I would most definitely handle this maturely and make sure they needn't be involved in it. If I were to really need to wear diapers to solve this issue I would do it in discreet moderation, like say only past 10 at night, right before I would go to sleep. No one would need to get involved or help me with anything, i'd handle it independently because thats what has to be done in order to move on in life on my own. All I really want is some form of assured acceptance from my parents if I were to engage in this because I know for a fact that this isn't going to go away. I've been hearing a lot in psychology that you can't resist your urges and that the truth will set you free. I know doing otherwise could lead to actual health issues and could also lead me to depression so I really want to get this sorted out now. I'm not gonna overtly say I want to do this to anyone, I was wondering if sending an email with full explanation of these issues, aswell as my night-time incontinence (whether they know or not), and see how they respond, assuring them that this is not just me going insane because of other stuff (such as my overwhelming amount of schoolwork or the extra curricular activities I participate in). I really doubt I could say this without choking up if I were to talk to them in person so can anyone give me some advice.

  7. #7

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    Accepted pretty much answered your question dude but I will enlighten you with my advice.

    Don't, you could be accused of telling a joke or lying. Most people that want to come out do it so by themselves using their voice in order to make a point. Sometimes, when an e-mail is sent out, that will trigger an event and make the receiver call an appointment or call you to clarify and it's one gigantic mess that YOU have to fix. You could just practice what your going to say. Type it in, then practice. You might choke but will give you courage and draw some nerve moments for the listener but they will know that your telling the truth and your honest with them by seeing each other eye-to-eye. Telling the truth will not hurt you or lead to anything related to health issues, it proves that you care about your body and you want some attention to help improve yourself. It is true that most of the time you can't resist your urges just like you can't keep your emotions bottles up inside you or eventually you will tear apart and lose control over yourself. More obvious, how would you know if they got an e-mail. They have millions of cases almost everyday so it could take a few days up to a week and possibly weeks till you get your answer/response but you want an answer now! I would go in person to person and talk about this issue. It's your decision so why should you get permission for something that is your personal business? You said this,



    Quote Originally Posted by Zedmain
    No one would need to get involved or help me with anything, i'd handle it independently because thats what has to be done in order to move on in life on my own.
    Exactly, no one has the right to tell you what you need/don't need. This is your decision and if your the way you are, your not going to hurt any kind of feelings. If it's an absolute must, I would suggest telling your parents so they are comfortable with the knowledge and that they know you need diapers. They will feel safe instead of you hiding the entire situation behind their backs. They won't be mad at you because they know your the exact person they expect from you with your "honesty" But back to your therapist. I recommend talking face to face with him so he can immediately give you instructions instead of over e-mailing where something could happen to your internet.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zedmain View Post
    Ok well let me start off by saying this, lets say hypothetically I were to discuss this with my parents (Which i'm going to have to do at some point or another), I would most definitely handle this maturely and make sure they needn't be involved in it. If I were to really need to wear diapers to solve this issue I would do it in discreet moderation, like say only past 10 at night, right before I would go to sleep. No one would need to get involved or help me with anything, i'd handle it independently because thats what has to be done in order to move on in life on my own. All I really want is some form of assured acceptance from my parents if I were to engage in this because I know for a fact that this isn't going to go away. I've been hearing a lot in psychology that you can't resist your urges and that the truth will set you free. I know doing otherwise could lead to actual health issues and could also lead me to depression so I really want to get this sorted out now. I'm not gonna overtly say I want to do this to anyone, I was wondering if sending an email with full explanation of these issues, aswell as my night-time incontinence (whether they know or not), and see how they respond, assuring them that this is not just me going insane because of other stuff (such as my overwhelming amount of schoolwork or the extra curricular activities I participate in). I really doubt I could say this without choking up if I were to talk to them in person so can anyone give me some advice.
    I would recommend that you take your time about it when it comes to talking to your parents. I am saying this from a practical and pragmatic point of view though. You see time is a luxury that only fools take not advantage of and you seem to have some so I would suggest you use it. I am not saying don't talk to them ever but take a few days if not a few weeks to think about how your going to say this to them and you will do better. Also those links I sent you should help but it does take time to talk to your parents about this. I would highly recommend you memorize that link about how not to come out since you are nervous as it is. Remember this is just a part of who and what you are. Being a diaper lover is not subjectively wrong. The trick with being a diaper lover is not that it's a problem, you just simply need to work to prevent it from becoming a problem. I think you will do fine as long as you take your time with this.

  9. #9

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    I'm very glad you decided to post and ask for advice, even though you were feeling uncomfortable. This is a really great place to get support and advice on issues that most people don't understand. I will echo the others in saying you need to see a doctor immediately. Suffering night time incontinence is a medical issue, and could possibly indicate more serious issues. If you should tell your parents that you are suffering with IC. They will probably be concerned, and unhappy that you had not told them sooner, but they will want to help you, and they will get you to see a doctor. That should be your first priority. Now, your desires for diapers are another issue entirely. There is nothing wrong with wanting diapers, but it may difficult for some people to understand. If it something you feel you should share with your parents, that is fine, but it is not something you have to share, it is not a medical issue. As Snivy said, these are not things you should tell your parents through email. This is a conversation to have in person. I would very much encourage you to hold off on coming out about your diaper desires until after your IC issues have been sorted out, and you have had some time to process things, and come to a decision. I realize talking about an issue like IC is embarrassing, but there is really no good reason to hide a medical issue from your parents. You need to talk to them and get to a doctor ASAP. Hopefully there will be a good solution for curing your IC outright. If there is not such an easy solution, you may be able to suggest the use of diapers at night as a way to manage IC. You could do this without actually revealing your desire for diapers. Of course even if the IC gets cured, which hopefully it does. There is nothing to stop you from wearing diapers sometimes if you want to. It can certainly be a great way to relieve stress. Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

  10. #10

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    Being IC itself can be embarrassing. There's no true estimate of how many are out there. Most people are too embarrassed to seek medical advice about it. All the guilt associated with IC and ABDL usually comes from potty training when younger. Parents would shame us out of diapers. Diapers are seen as being for babies by most people in the world and kids and teens are usually harsh with the judgements against you.

    I also suffer from depression and maybe some other mental issues, but I never sought to get it checked out. You don't have to explain to your parents that you like to wear diapers, you are IC, you can tell them about that if it's necessary. I'm sure they will offer sympathy.

    Being able to talk to people who understand what you are going through will help. This place has helped me for years now. Just being a part of the community itself helps relieve stress. Knowing that you can relate to others is a burden off of the shoulders and being able to not feel so alone.

    As for your friends, tell them to stop if you're uncomfortable with their jokes. Tell them how you feel, if they don't just move on.

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