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Thread: Parents

  1. #1

    Default Parents

    I was not really unsure about what to name this post. So, I'm going to get right to the point. Both of my parents are constantly telling me for months that I need to update my room and make it 'age-appropriate.' They also want me to take all my stuffed animals off of my bed.

    They say that "No guys my age have stuffed animals on my bed."

    My older sister said, "No girl will date me if she goes in that room and sees them on my bed."

    I am seriously fine with the way my room is. Recently, the stuffed animal policy has been changed, from zero stuffed animal to one.

    Is there really anyway to get my family let me be?

  2. #2

    Default

    Honestly, there isn't. As long as you live under their roof, your parent's have power over and you and there isn't anything to do about it unless you move out or you have an understanding talk with your parents. Some parent's are understanding on the stuff you like to have and others would say you need to clean your room, you need to grow up, etc...As for wanting your peace...it depends on the nature of families.

    There is not that many options to let your parent's do whatever you want. It is kinda harsh I know but parent's have total control over their kids and whoever lives the house must always obey the rules.

    What you can do is comply with their rules and ask for privacy because you are "22" you should at least get some privacy every once in a while. I wouldn't argue it with them just ask them politely. I think you said a few months ago there isn't a lock on your door but a sign does wonders like "Please Do Not Disturb" if your parent's are the type to comply to those simple rules. You can ask them to "knock" before entering into a bedroom which is the perfect way for privacy that all parents/kids should always do since it IS respect for one another.

    As for your stage like for your stuffed animals for example, I think it's natural for people your age to have animals but of course all over the place might make someone snap and it's best to put them away when your not using them so you don't start a fuss when someone DOES enter your room.

    Why would your sister say this? "No girl will date me if she goes in that room and sees them on my bed." I dated a girl when I was 16 and she loved my plushie "Snivy" on my bed. It's the type of girls you meet. Not all girls in life want's a manly man, sometimes they might want a soft guy who has a deep heart and loves animals. I would just ignore your sister but not permanently of course she loves you and she is looking out for you. maybe limit your animals on your bed.

    You could explain to your family that the stuffed animals is a way of relaxation or a feeling to calm your nerves down because most therapists use like stressballs or plushes to calm nerves that are wayyy out of whack like if someone is jittery over something. it don't have to be too short or too long but you are at an age where you do need some kind of privacy in your life. I would say if your going to adjust to their rules, then have a talk about it. If in-doubt or things don't go the way you want them, then comply with your rules and bite your tongue. The only option if all else fails is to just wait till you get your own place.
    Last edited by Snivy; 13-Oct-2014 at 20:21. Reason: Noticed "Spelling"

  3. #3

    Default

    Assuming you haven't told them about any of this stuff, their reaction is probably at least somewhat reasonable. A bed full of stuffed animals is fairly unusual for a 22 year old guy, and will likely carry a social stigma. You could try to play it up as some kind of identity thing, but I suspect you'll get the same reaction. They are probably genuinely trying to do what they think is best for you.

    Personally I'd say put the stuffed animals away until you get your own place.

  4. #4

    Default

    Without knowing your parents I don't think I could make an accurate suggestion...
    If it were me and my parents, I'd argue with em. (that's how we communicate in my family)

    Be upfront and confident in establishing your point.
    You're 22. How you express who you are as an individual is up to you. If you like being childish, and have stuffed animals, that's your choice. Maybe even ask why they are so opposed to it. Them saying "No guys my age have stuffed animals on my bed." isn't a complete logic; they need to establish why they view it as a problem.

    but again...I don't know how your parents are; some households would view this as an act of disrespect and could go beyond words.
    Last edited by SleepyTyrant; 13-Oct-2014 at 04:51.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by SleepyTyrant View Post
    If it were me and my parents, I'd argue with em. (that's how we communicate in my family)...
    I think it's safe to say that you must have a good loving family.

    "Tyrant! Get your a** down here for dinner or imma whoop you!"

    "I'm playing my games, lay off mom!"

  6. #6

    Default

    I'm not super familiar with your situation but it seems to be the plushies aren't the main problem here. The thing they are making a point of is the age-apporpriate part. So what might make your situation better is to show them in other ways that you are a mature and capable of adult and they don't have to worry about it. The removal of plushies sounds more like an attempt to "adultify" some other behaviors of yours. It also might not hurt to give your room some more diverse flair, maybe put in some things that seem more "mature" in there to balance out the adult. I'm sure you could find some you would like, if you looked around.

    This all may be way off base, but I thought I would mention just in case it helped.

  7. #7

    Default

    There's not much you can do. You live under their roof you live by their rules. That being said, they should allow some room for negotiation when it comes to rules. My parents do.

  8. #8

    Default

    I'm a Brony, and it shocks me how many parents of Bronies how issues with their older children being into a little girls show. It can be a little weird at first, but if You got to know the reasons behind it, people might understand a little bit more. If You haven't already, You should talk to Your family why You enjoy having plushies. It may be their rules, but this is Your life.

  9. #9

    Default

    When my mom discovered my diapers, besides being sent to a shrink, my mom would leave pamphlets around about "being a man", etc.. For some reason, some parents fixate on these sort of things. I suppose having the gay marriage debate constantly in the news makes parents more likely to question their children's sexual identity issues.

    This isn't good advise, but wouldn't it be fun to meet their expectations by putting away the plushies and living in your room like a typical 22 year old male. That would entail never making your bed nor putting your clothes away. You would scatter half of your things on the floor, and leave half eaten food and dirty dishes throughout the bedroom. Now you are a man, my son!

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Shisy View Post
    I'm a Brony, and it shocks me how many parents of Bronies how issues with their older children being into a little girls show. It can be a little weird at first, but if You got to know the reasons behind it, people might understand a little bit more. If You haven't already, You should talk to Your family why You enjoy having plushies. It may be their rules, but this is Your life.
    Now for the parents and bronies thing isn't all that bad. Some parents think that MLP is just a cartoon and they don't pay much attention to cartoons. Some might not even know what a pony is.

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