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Thread: If you could go back in time and do anything over, what would you do over?

  1. #1

    Default If you could go back in time and do anything over, what would you do over?

    I would change the way I spent my last few days with my grandpa. I was 9 years old, I didn't know lung cancer was going to kill him. I thought he would get better and everything would be okay. So I, of course, did not spend those last few days as meaningfully as I could have. Of course, there wasn't that much I could do since he was confined to a hospital bed. Even now, almost 10 years later, his death still hurts.

    I like this quote from Walter Anderson, "bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself."

    Of course, I can tell myself stuff like that every day, but it doesn't make the fact that I'll never see my grandpa again any easier.

  2. #2

    Default

    I have so many points in my life that I would love to go back and change.

    However, when one considers the effect of the space time continuum that that would cause, then I would not be the person I am today. If I could not do the mistakes that I have done, then I would not have learned the lessons that I have had.

    Like your story, I lost my father when I was 16+, and at the time of his demise, I had a lot of anger and hatred in my heart. The last thing I did with my father was have a mean spirited argument with a lot of hateful things said. I have had to live with the fact that no matter how hard I cry and yell I am sorry at his grave, I will never have forgiveness for my disrespect.

    However, from that I have been able to find such precious memories of my dad and the times that I knew and he did tell me that he was proud of me. The only other thing that I did not realize until I took a psych class in college was children do not store the parents voices in the memory banks until they are in their early 20's. It shook me to the core because I can not remember my dads voice talking to me calmly. I do have a few sparse memories of him yelling at me, but that is all.

    It is events like this that give us our "wisdom" when we relate to other events, and therefore I would never go back to change anything.

    Sorry for rambling.

  3. #3

    Default

    with age come regrets... and also the wisdom too understand and learn by them.... (soft smile)


    Quote Originally Posted by egor View Post
    I have so many points in my life that I would love to go back and change.

    However, when one considers the effect of the space time continuum that that would cause, then I would not be the person I am today. If I could not do the mistakes that I have done, then I would not have learned the lessons that I have had.

    Like your story, I lost my father when I was 16+, and at the time of his demise, I had a lot of anger and hatred in my heart. The last thing I did with my father was have a mean spirited argument with a lot of hateful things said. I have had to live with the fact that no matter how hard I cry and yell I am sorry at his grave, I will never have forgiveness for my disrespect.

    However, from that I have been able to find such precious memories of my dad and the times that I knew and he did tell me that he was proud of me. The only other thing that I did not realize until I took a psych class in college was children do not store the parents voices in the memory banks until they are in their early 20's. It shook me to the core because I can not remember my dads voice talking to me calmly. I do have a few sparse memories of him yelling at me, but that is all.

    It is events like this that give us our "wisdom" when we relate to other events, and therefore I would never go back to change anything.

    Sorry for rambling.

  4. #4

    Default

    I would go back and be even more adamant about the things I wanted for myself but my mother wouldn't let me have because it was too girly. Refusing to back it down, so she could understand quicker how important it was to me. I sat around being scared for way too long. It was nothing more then wasted time, I got to where I was going to be in the end.

  5. #5

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    I don't really know what I would go back and change. There are a lot of things in my life that I wish didn't happen, that I regret, just like many others. But my life experiences have led me to be who I am today, and I like who I am, faults and all.

  6. #6

    Default

    Oh so many things. Especially that one drunk phone call on New Year's Eve almost five years ago. Or maybe I'd asked her out waaaay before.

  7. #7

    Default

    I would have tried harder and earlier on in highschool.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also probably saved more money cause being a broke college student is terrible.

  8. #8

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    There's one thing about things you regret: They make up a lot of what you are now. Especially your positive traits, because you've learned from the things that went wrong. You know what the things you messed up caused in you and others and in the future, you are giving your best to avoid them, and this stretches out to situations that don't necessarily have to do with this very situation, but on which you can apply what you've learned and then you'll avoid hurting others.

    I deeply regret having been a failure from seventh grade on and never having finished my Abitur. But would I want to change it? I don't know. I've always pushed myself to be kind, understanding and not too judgmental, but what it actually means to be this way is something I only learned after I went through all the therapy shit and what have you.

  9. #9

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    I've made bad decisions at times, but I'd say if I could change one thing, it would be the outlook I had, as opposed to any actual act I did. I was unnecessarily hard on myself during my Teens, because I resented the fact I'd grown up with a disability, and felt angry at myself for the embarrassment it sometimes caused me, as well as the impact it had on my physical form.

    I actually think had I had a more positive, measured mindset, I'd have saved myself from saying and doing quite a few regrettable things which I'd like to do over. So, I guess I'd go back to about the point my self-doubt started getting the better of me, and try and change the way I thought, or at least try and react differently to the thoughts I had. I think that balance and sense of perspective would've made the single biggest improvement in my life overall.

  10. #10

    Default

    I should have listened to myself more. The things that got most screwed up (mostly financial...) were those where I thought "This is what I should do", even though all the experts said different. As it turned out, I would be a very wealthy man today if I'd paid attention to the voice in my head.

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