Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: Should I go for it?

  1. #1

    Default Should I go for it?

    So I have a crush on my best friend and we have been friends for years now. The one thing that is holding me back from telling her I love her is the risk that it might ruin our friendship if she doesn't love me back (though I'm 70-80% sure she does).

    So we have been friends for years since we got to know each other after being in the same class for a while. she is a very beautiful individual but what I love is her personality and our similarities, the beauty is just a bonus. We both love video games, shakespeare, Doctor who, Sherlock, Bastille, Howls Moving Castle and a good deal more. The only differences are that she likes adventure time way more than me (but I still love it).

    I'm almost certain she loves me back due to many signs (if you want to know them just let me know) and I really want to be more than best friends

  2. #2


    If she is a real friend she will not mind you telling her how you feel, rejection or not. You can still be friends without it ruining anything, talk through the issues and be honest.

  3. #3


    Quote Originally Posted by DexxKizwizard View Post
    If she is a real friend she will not mind you telling her how you feel, rejection or not. You can still be friends without it ruining anything, talk through the issues and be honest.
    sorry I should have been more clear about the ruining thing. I'm worried that it will become very awkward between me and her if she rejects.

  4. #4

  5. #5


    Take it up by degrees I reckon, if she's savy she'll pick up on your hints. Play your cards carefully and you'll know the right time. Being friends you probably already head out together, just maybe suggest a few more outings, like at the mall or a movie, then you can create opportunities to discuss this sort of thing....there's too many distractions if your say at hers gaming etc. good luck dude!

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by DexxKizwizard View Post
    Suffer in silence instead???
    No I was just clarifying something, thanks for the advice

  7. #7


    Telling her won't destroy your friendship if you're well and truly good friends.

    It *will* change your friendship.

    Such a revelation invariably changes the basis on which you relate to each other. Now, while perhaps you each have an inkling that the other has feelings for you, you're not acting on that information. You're acting on your concrete information, which is that you have common interests, enjoy each other's company, and have all of your shared experiences together. Where you're at is comfortable and known.

    Even if you're both feeling the same way toward each other, there's the problem of going first. Someone has to go first, and that someone always runs the risks you describe. But think about it from the other side, the person that now has this new thing to process (e.g. your friend). Regardless of that person's feelings, that person has new information to process. That person has to grapple with how revealing (or hesitating to reveal) their feelings will impact you, how it will make you feel. Think of it like dumping someone or breaking bad news-if the other person's not feeling like you're feeling, that person now has bad news to deliver. If they do it with care and the love a friend can muster, then the friendship continues on, you find a new normal as you process the fact that the other party does not share your feelings, and they figure out how you'll act in the new world.

    Of course, there's the other possibility-that they do in fact feel similarly to you and are scared to go first.

    Should you go for it? I don't know. It is a risk, but that risk could pay out really well, too. What I do know, though, is that if you do, be careful and be prepared for what might happen next. If you're as good of friends as you say, you'll manage just fine even if it goes badly. On the other side, it might be magic! Either way, though, once you've gone, there's no going back.

    Good luck!

  8. #8


    To be honest I feel I'm in the same boat as you. I'm waiting until we finish exams in a few weeks time, then I'll tell her. I did admit the other night that I had almost asked her out a few years back, in reply she said that back then she didn't want a boyfriend and would have said no... I think that was a hint? We'll see.

    In my head, the worst that she can say is no. Sure, you may lose a friend, but I'd rather lose a friend that way than by seeing someone you love marry another guy... Or at least not date you. :P

  9. #9


    You know her better than we do... but its worth letting her know you'd take it further if you could. i've had situations that went both ways. One that said she wasn't ready to be serious, and another that was, but I broke up with her later for other reasons.

    Your age isn't listed anywhere I can see. My guess is late teens, early 20's. At that age, whether you stay friends or not isn't that important. Unless a romantic relationship develops soon, the two of you will go your own way regardless of friendship. That's just how it is.

  10. #10


    All good advise from above, so all I can say is, better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. Sometimes to get the grand prize, we have to take risks. People who don't take risks never achieve anything. I've been a risk taker all my life, and it has given me a rich life full of amazing adventures. Go for it!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.