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Thread: Why I think I wear

  1. #1

    Default Why I think I wear

    All my life I've pondered "why do I have this need to wear diapers?" I was curious to where it stems from. Initially I thought it was genetic. My youngest sister when she was growing up was showing signs of what I could relate to. Visiting the diaper aisle just cause, getting uncomfortable during diaper commercials when our parents were in the same room, secretly wearing diapers. It's a long story but eventually my sister stopped demonstrating these symptoms and to some degree I went through that stage too.

    I remember when I was around 10 or 11 I had no thoughts about wear diapers about them. For a time being I felt normal. It wasn't until one morning I was at baseball practice that my couch was parenting his son in front of us because he was playing with grass and dirt. I remember my couch saying to his son "Quit acting like a baby and put the dirt down" or something along those lines. I remember being at 2nd base when he said that and then all of a sudden these urges surged back to me. It felt like I was awaken. So maybe my sister has been suppressing these feelings like I did.

    Anyways, I actually had a hard upbringing growing up (first world problems I know, sue me). My mother and father were constantly at odds with one another. Always arguing, and it would only get worse when my father got inebriated. It wasn't until I was 3 that I felt like I could do something. I remember my dad getting drunk and got into an argument with my mom about something and he dashed for his car. I followed and put my head underneath the car and next to the wheel, so if my dad wanted to leave he would have to kill me and that's what I told my father when he got into the car seat. He started crying and vowed to never drink again. He kept his promise but my parents still fought and I was always there to cool their arguments. It wasn't until I was 14, when I finally got formal martial arts training that I could physically incapacitate my mother or father if need be. Yes my mother would attack my father and vice versa.It wasn't as drastic as you might think but it was mainly due to the fact that they knew I would step in and retaliate. This only happened when they got into arguments it wasn't something they would do just cause.

    From when I was 3 and even now, 22, I intervene. It sucks. I had to grow up too fast and to some degree I feel very selfish for not letting my parents just divorce, but every now and then they seem so happy and other times they seem to harbor this growing hate for one another and I'm tired of budding in. Seeing my other friend's parents divorce left and right. I just didn't want that for my sisters or me. My friends always looked so depressed and detached from the world around them. I think to some degree I credit these events to the reason why I wear diapers. I grew up too fast. In fact I got potty trained a little after I turned 1 years old. So when I found out about diapers I felt young, despite me being 4 years old when I became attached to diapers.

    And it's weird. I don't feel like I grew up in a bad house hold. To some degree I feel like I'm normal. I'm more than happy, I'm about to graduate with a Bachelors of Science in Architecture, I have an internship waiting for me in Dallas/Fort Worth, I was able to keep a relationship for 4 years with my girlfriend (who knows about the diapers), my health is not an issue, I'm not emotionally needy, I can keep friendships, I can't find an error in my character if I look at myself objectively. I feel like these fights my parents would get into only affected me in this manner: me wanting to wear diapers. But who knows. Maybe there is something wrong with me chemically in my brain but now these days, who isn't right lol? Maybe it goes FAR deeper than that.

    TL;DR My parents fought a lot while I was growing up and I intervened too much and I credit these altercations to me wanting to wear diapers because I was robbed of a proper upbringing as a kid.

    I know I got a little too personal but I felt I needed to get this off my chest. Maybe someone else has experienced what I have. I've talked to my girlfriend about this and she agrees. What do you all credit for you wanting to wearing diapers?

  2. #2


    First off, that's awful and no child should have to deal with that kind of craziness but I'm sure you're well aware. As to the overall point of your thread, you might be right about that as a trigger. I used to wonder a lot about that but after all the thinking as well as reading of others' experiences, I reached two conclusions: it's pretty much impossible for us to know the cause for certain after the fact and knowing is much less important than how I deal with it now that I am here.

    I don't mean to discourage you thinking on it but with all the varied experiences, what strikes me is how they can and do happen to many kids in varying degrees growing up. My childhood was essentially trauma free. I think there was something in me from very early on that interpreted experiences in a certain way and took lessons and significance from things that others would have paid no heed to (they likely had different personality hooks). After sufficient accumulation over the right timeframe, I was hooked. Just a personal theory and one that I don't see how it could be reliably uncovered, dating back to some of my earliest memories, nor could it be reproduced by an ethical study.

    What you have sounds like as good a reason as any. Just don't lose sight that what is important now is making something good out of the crazy quilt of your desires. That's all any of us can do.

  3. #3



    That's is for sharing that. To echo Trevor's thoughts above, I too hate reading that there are people who do grow up in such environments. In a way it makes me feel guilty. It makes me feel bad for having had absolutely no real dramas to deal with. I am sure there will be other friends of ours here who will have experienced similar situations and upbringing, and I can only imagine learning that others have experienced it too can surely only help them.

    With regards to the desire of wearing, I think for me it is mostly connected to being potty trained early. Ok, I was apparently wearing until around 2 at night, but was still earlier than those around me at the time. My theory is that I never had the chance to learn to dislike them. I was never the kid who wanted to tear them off, hated being put in them. I was the kid who just had them removed from my life before I was done with them. :-)

    As I grew a little older I would get curious when I saw them. If visitors had a bag of them I would touch and feel them. Occasionally I would even take one and save it to wear and use when I had some privacy. They never fit quite right, but just the sensation of padding and the associated sounds were magic.

    Anyway, Green, you take care, enjoy your diapers, and try not to worry too much about why you like them. As Trevor mentioned above, it is hard to say. I think we should just enjoy them and allow them to help spice up our lives.

    Be good.

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