All my life I've pondered "why do I have this need to wear diapers?" I was curious to where it stems from. Initially I thought it was genetic. My youngest sister when she was growing up was showing signs of what I could relate to. Visiting the diaper aisle just cause, getting uncomfortable during diaper commercials when our parents were in the same room, secretly wearing diapers. It's a long story but eventually my sister stopped demonstrating these symptoms and to some degree I went through that stage too.
I remember when I was around 10 or 11 I had no thoughts about wear diapers about them. For a time being I felt normal. It wasn't until one morning I was at baseball practice that my couch was parenting his son in front of us because he was playing with grass and dirt. I remember my couch saying to his son "Quit acting like a baby and put the dirt down" or something along those lines. I remember being at 2nd base when he said that and then all of a sudden these urges surged back to me. It felt like I was awaken. So maybe my sister has been suppressing these feelings like I did.
Anyways, I actually had a hard upbringing growing up (first world problems I know, sue me). My mother and father were constantly at odds with one another. Always arguing, and it would only get worse when my father got inebriated. It wasn't until I was 3 that I felt like I could do something. I remember my dad getting drunk and got into an argument with my mom about something and he dashed for his car. I followed and put my head underneath the car and next to the wheel, so if my dad wanted to leave he would have to kill me and that's what I told my father when he got into the car seat. He started crying and vowed to never drink again. He kept his promise but my parents still fought and I was always there to cool their arguments. It wasn't until I was 14, when I finally got formal martial arts training that I could physically incapacitate my mother or father if need be. Yes my mother would attack my father and vice versa.It wasn't as drastic as you might think but it was mainly due to the fact that they knew I would step in and retaliate. This only happened when they got into arguments it wasn't something they would do just cause.
From when I was 3 and even now, 22, I intervene. It sucks. I had to grow up too fast and to some degree I feel very selfish for not letting my parents just divorce, but every now and then they seem so happy and other times they seem to harbor this growing hate for one another and I'm tired of budding in. Seeing my other friend's parents divorce left and right. I just didn't want that for my sisters or me. My friends always looked so depressed and detached from the world around them. I think to some degree I credit these events to the reason why I wear diapers. I grew up too fast. In fact I got potty trained a little after I turned 1 years old. So when I found out about diapers I felt young, despite me being 4 years old when I became attached to diapers.
And it's weird. I don't feel like I grew up in a bad house hold. To some degree I feel like I'm normal. I'm more than happy, I'm about to graduate with a Bachelors of Science in Architecture, I have an internship waiting for me in Dallas/Fort Worth, I was able to keep a relationship for 4 years with my girlfriend (who knows about the diapers), my health is not an issue, I'm not emotionally needy, I can keep friendships, I can't find an error in my character if I look at myself objectively. I feel like these fights my parents would get into only affected me in this manner: me wanting to wear diapers. But who knows. Maybe there is something wrong with me chemically in my brain but now these days, who isn't right lol? Maybe it goes FAR deeper than that.
TL;DR My parents fought a lot while I was growing up and I intervened too much and I credit these altercations to me wanting to wear diapers because I was robbed of a proper upbringing as a kid.
I know I got a little too personal but I felt I needed to get this off my chest. Maybe someone else has experienced what I have. I've talked to my girlfriend about this and she agrees. What do you all credit for you wanting to wearing diapers?