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Thread: Trying to get the courage to tell my wife....

  1. #1

    Default Trying to get the courage to tell my wife....

    I have been married to my wife for ten years and have been a diaper lover for about 25 years. I have wanted to tell her for so long, but I'm very nervous to do it. I haven't been able to find the courage to do it. I'm afraid she might freak out and take the kids and leave. She is very vanilla soni can't imagine her taking the news well. I am just tired of hiding it and wearing in secret. I'm not saying I want her to wear with me or change me ( although that would be amazing), but I would love her to know abouts wearing and be okay with it. Any advice?

  2. #2

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    My advice would be to touch on the topic perhaps as a way to "spice" things up. Introduce the idea of a fantasy play, you wanting to regress and be taken care by her. No mention of diapers. Just test the waters with the idea. Over time, if she allows, make it a game and start in with possible roll playing and eventually move on to outfits. If done right, over time and without pushing too hard, keeping her interests (her fantasies which may be different than yours) in mind, you may be able to ease into it. Just remember to take baby steps (no pun intended).

  3. #3

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    I too was going to suggest that you broach the subject lightly. Some people play the, do you have a secret desire game. Others will ask, have you ever wanted the safety and comfort of being a little kid, something like that. If you come right out and tell all, there's no going back. Sometimes it's good to leave a way out rather than paint yourself into a corner.

  4. #4

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    A lot of people here have been discovered after being married for a while and had it be okay, but it's going to depend a lot on your wife. I have no personal experience on this one, but my 2 cents is that you should think about how you're going to discuss the question of why you kept it secret for so long. Depending on her reaction, she might be more hurt that you didn't let her in for years than she will by the specific issue of the diapers.

    Dogboy's and Barnboy's suggestions also sound really smart and I'd suggest going with their approach.

  5. #5

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    I told my wife after 8 yrs. of marriage, but I had not been active since we got engaged. Unfortunately it came back with a vengeance. I went into therapy and talked to them first. I unfortunately I told my wife when she was holding me in a cuddling fashion, and I just started crying.

    The one thing I would suggest is follow your instinct. You know your wife better then anyone else. I would suggest that when you do tell her you be ready to show her baby Mitchy's video on You tube called Understanding Adult Babies. I asked her to watch that and then we spent 3 hours talking about why I do this and what was the cause.

    The bottom line is 'Communication, communication, communication.
    Talk it out.
    Us I statements i.e. I fell that ..........
    and use active listening skills.

    Best of luck to you.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaddedInHesperia View Post
    I have been married to my wife for ten years and have been a diaper lover for about 25 years. I have wanted to tell her for so long, but I'm very nervous to do it.
    So, my first (and really only) suggestion is this: Be honest with yourself and with your wife about why you are coming out at this late hour. My guess is that you are looking for something more than to assuage your own guilt, because, after ten years, you are almost certainly pretty used to the guilt!

    EDIT: I'll add that I came out to my wife after we'd been married 13 years. That was about two years ago. And it wasn't by choice; she found my diapers. She was irritated about the secret-keeping, but was ultimately sympathetic and has "accepted" that this is a part of me. We don't talk about it often, and I indulge only when I'm by myself. In other words, I basically do what I've been doing my whole life: I hide it. It doesn't bother me, though. In fact, with little kids around, I think it's probably the only way to go. When the kids are grown and out on their own, I might press things a little just for convenience's sake, but that would be the reason why. I still don't see myself wanting her to diaper me, treat me like a baby, etc.
    Last edited by Cottontail; 05-Oct-2014 at 04:23.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by PaddedInHesperia View Post
    I have been married to my wife for ten years and have been a diaper lover for about 25 years. I have wanted to tell her for so long, but I'm very nervous to do it. I haven't been able to find the courage to do it. I'm afraid she might freak out and take the kids and leave. She is very vanilla soni can't imagine her taking the news well. I am just tired of hiding it and wearing in secret. I'm not saying I want her to wear with me or change me ( although that would be amazing), but I would love her to know abouts wearing and be okay with it. Any advice?
    Be very careful, because you are walking through a minefield? That's my advice, proceed with extreme caution.

  8. #8

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    I guess I should have mentioned on my first post that I am strictly a diaper lover, not an AB so I assume it won't be as hard as if I was. I've thought about how I would tell her for years and I just don't know the answer to it yet. I'm thinking it would be me explaining it as a fetish. She knows about my fetish for satin panties and she is cool with that. Because of it, she only owns and wears satin and she is also okay with me wearing them from time to time. I mean, she thinks it's weird but she doesn't put me on blast about it. And I would be more than fine if she wanted no part in diaper play but was okay with me wearing in private. I'm just tired of the hiding.

  9. #9

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    I told my wife about my panties and satin too before we got married. Now that's all I own..panties 24/7. I slowly brought up diapers and then AB. She was surprised and confused but now I have a closet full of diapers. She is reading "there's a baby in my bed". We are making good progress.

  10. #10

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    While I was able to tell my husband fairly easily, that was before we got married. Since you are way past that, the only advice is to proceed with extreme caution. When I was married to my x for 10 years/together 14, I never told and I never advise telling that late. When I was with him I did indulge once at the very beginning, but hid it from him and it was obvious to him that I was hiding something so he was basically very insecure about it for the next 14 years. So I had to basicly never wear anything all of that time. I mostly just wet washcloths or feminine pads once in a great while and that was it for me. I only remember twice and both times I was 9 months pregnant.

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