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Thread: How to safely explore this unknown side of me

  1. #1

    Default How to safely explore this unknown side of me

    I always thought I was just a DL. Then, somewhat recently, before my most recent purge cycle, I ended up getting some AB paraphernalia (a onsie and such). After a really tough month of being without any ABDL activity at all, I've decided I want to find a safe way to stabilize my urges, especially within the context of my wonderful relationship with my non-ABDL girlfriend (she knows, and is somewhat supportive of my particular interests, and doesn't want to be anything less than my one true love). Looking at tumblr pages in the past, abdlcamming, and reading "fiction" have definitely been detrimental in the past, so I'm doing everything I can to cut those out of my life. So now, starting over.

    I'm very experienced in most every DL endeavor. However, the closest I've ever come to any AB interests was that one Halloween when I used a baby costume as an excuse to wear diapers. I don't think I really have many of the actual AB tendencies, however I just don't know any more, as I really like onsies, and sometimes find myself slipping into a much younger mindset occasionally when I'm with my girlfriend. Maybe I'm a "little"?

    I'm looking for advice on a couple of different fronts. How can I best figure out what I am on the grand scale of AB and DL? How can I keep my interests from getting in the way of my relationship? I would love recommendations on individual activities, activities with her, or anything like that.

    Just to give some context: I have my own in an apartment at a small college, I do care about my personal and professional reputation, and I care for my relationship with my girlfriend more than any other part of my life (though I'm beginning to think that without some fashion of ABDL in my life, I may not feel complete).

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain View Post
    I always thought I was just a DL. Then, somewhat recently, before my most recent purge cycle, I ended up getting some AB paraphernalia (a onsie and such). After a really tough month of being without any ABDL activity at all, I've decided I want to find a safe way to stabilize my urges, especially within the context of my wonderful relationship with my non-ABDL girlfriend (she knows, and is somewhat supportive of my particular interests, and doesn't want to be anything less than my one true love). Looking at tumblr pages in the past, abdlcamming, and reading "fiction" have definitely been detrimental in the past, so I'm doing everything I can to cut those out of my life. So now, starting over.

    I'm very experienced in most every DL endeavor. However, the closest I've ever come to any AB interests was that one Halloween when I used a baby costume as an excuse to wear diapers. I don't think I really have many of the actual AB tendencies, however I just don't know any more, as I really like onsies, and sometimes find myself slipping into a much younger mindset occasionally when I'm with my girlfriend. Maybe I'm a "little"?

    I'm looking for advice on a couple of different fronts. How can I best figure out what I am on the grand scale of AB and DL? How can I keep my interests from getting in the way of my relationship? I would love recommendations on individual activities, activities with her, or anything like that.

    Just to give some context: I have my own in an apartment at a small college, I do care about my personal and professional reputation, and I care for my relationship with my girlfriend more than any other part of my life (though I'm beginning to think that without some fashion of ABDL in my life, I may not feel complete).

    I'd just talk to her about what her take on just trying it out would be. Maybe tell her that you're testing the waters so to speak and you would really love it and it would make you happy if she would either roll with it or actively participate if she felt so inclined to do so. Don't force anything either. If you want to take it slow, go for it, the only person it matters to is you (mostly).

    Of course don't be ashamed of this if it is the case. The same thing happened to me and now I love doing AB things when I can; it's all about what makes you happy bro. Maybe ask your gf if she would consider bottle feeding sometime, or if she wouldn't mind if you had a pacifier in once in a while. As I said, don't rush anything with her.

    Another thing you could do is just buy some onsies and occasionally sleep in one and see if she is okay with that. Definitely make sure you're communicating properly with her, as you don't want to upset any kind of balance you might have already established.

    Above all, have fun! It's not like you're choosing to transition to another sex or anything, you're just doing baby stuff! Enjoy it for what it is and ensure your gf that's all it is. If you get lucky, she may even want to be your mommy at some point

    Good luck friend!

  3. #3

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    Thanks for reply! I have another question for ya. How would you recommend exploring/initiating the "little" mindset? I don't know how I would trigger something like that.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain View Post
    Thanks for reply! I have another question for ya. How would you recommend exploring/initiating the "little" mindset? I don't know how I would trigger something like that.
    I've seen this one pop up a couple times and maybe I can help there. I'm mostly DL myself, but there are little bits of the little side that can be a lot of fun. By far the easiest one is to get yourself some props and just see what appeals to you. Get a couple plushies, name them, hug and cuddle them. You could also try getting a bottle or a pacifier if either of those appeal to you, but don't force it if they don't.

    Since you've got a girlfriend, there might be a few things you could do with her that would appeal to you. A lot of people get somewhat grossed out by the whole changing diapers thing, but she might be willing to help dress you more normally (especially if she gets to pick out your clothes) and maybe she'd be willing to feed you once in a while if you're cooperative. You could also ask her if she's willing to read aloud to you and maybe get a few books that you both like, and have a bedtime story moment at the end of the day with her. Again, very tame not gross activity, but I'd bet it will tickle your fancy and maybe hers too.

    Oh, and this is practically a refrain for my posts at this point (seriously, check my history), but sit down with her and have a conversation about how you feel, like how you said it in the OP here. Make sure you listen to her interests, including any worries or fears that she expresses, but help her to understand why all this is important to you, and together you two can come up with some ideas of stuff you can do together.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain View Post
    I always thought I was just a DL. Then, somewhat recently, before my most recent purge cycle, I ended up getting some AB paraphernalia (a onsie and such). After a really tough month of being without any ABDL activity at all, I've decided I want to find a safe way to stabilize my urges, especially within the context of my wonderful relationship with my non-ABDL girlfriend (she knows, and is somewhat supportive of my particular interests, and doesn't want to be anything less than my one true love). Looking at tumblr pages in the past, abdlcamming, and reading "fiction" have definitely been detrimental in the past, so I'm doing everything I can to cut those out of my life. So now, starting over.

    I'm very experienced in most every DL endeavor. However, the closest I've ever come to any AB interests was that one Halloween when I used a baby costume as an excuse to wear diapers. I don't think I really have many of the actual AB tendencies, however I just don't know any more, as I really like onsies, and sometimes find myself slipping into a much younger mindset occasionally when I'm with my girlfriend. Maybe I'm a "little"?

    I'm looking for advice on a couple of different fronts. How can I best figure out what I am on the grand scale of AB and DL? How can I keep my interests from getting in the way of my relationship? I would love recommendations on individual activities, activities with her, or anything like that.

    Just to give some context: I have my own in an apartment at a small college, I do care about my personal and professional reputation, and I care for my relationship with my girlfriend more than any other part of my life (though I'm beginning to think that without some fashion of ABDL in my life, I may not feel complete).
    This sounds familiar to me. When I first got (back) into diapers, in college, I think I leaned pretty heavily towards DL. I mostly just enjoyed having diapers, on the rare occasions I did (and when I wasn't purging). About a year in, I noticed that I also wanted to try other things. I experimented with a pacifier, bought a princess dress on Hallowe'en, and even tried Pull-ups. In my private time, I liked to dress up and imagine myself as a baby girl. And although my diaper experimentation was often sexual, my baby experiences never were. So I became more of an AB over time (well, an LG, but that's basically an AB who strongly identifies as a little girl).

    I'm in both camps now. So to answer your question, I think you just try what sounds like fun and see where it takes you. You might buy a onesie and find that you really want to watch a kid's show, colour, or play with toys. Or it might not do anything for you. It takes a little experimentation, but it's very fun experimentation!

    As to how to let this not interfere with your relationship, I'm assuming she doesn't know about this side of you. If you're thinking of a long-term or permanent commitment, I'd recommend telling her. Your other options are to repress this side of you (99.9% of the time, this is a bad idea), or to keep it a secret (and if you're ever caught, face really devastating consequences). Introduce it slowly, but with as much confidence as you can. Make it clear that she doesn't have to participate beyond what she's comfortable doing, but that this is something you need to do. Other members who've "come out" to an SO can probably offer more advice than I can, but I'd recommend it.

    In the meantime, while you're discovering yourself, enjoy it! (I know that's odd after my somewhat serious comments above, but it's true). Discovering your AB/DL side is tons of fun, so give your interests a try and see where they take you.

  6. #6

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    If your going to tell your significant other then I would recommend that you take a look at these links as they will most likely prove incredibly useful to you Captain. Basically they provide a lot of useful advice about how to come out and I suspect that anyone including even some of the more expert individuals on this site who know how to come out to other's that they are AB could learn something from this site.

    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/abdl-pho...out-abdls.html
    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/coming-out.html

    This link is about how not to come out fyi-http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/how-not-to-come-out.html

    These links have advice that is intended for your significant other if he/she is interested in looking at these http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/informat...-of-abdls.html

    http://aboutabdl.weebly.com/how-to-be-an-ally.html

    Be advised should I in no way be considered and expert in these matters but then again I suspect I just referred you to several experts which is almost as good. It's up to you if you want to take a look at these links of course but I do highly recommend them for your specific situation. I hope things go well if you decide to come out to your significant other of course!

  7. #7

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    Thankfully, we've already had that talk (a couple years ago actually). She is ok with it, but doesn't really get anything out of it apart from occasionally recognizing parts of it as adorable. She's even tried it before for herself, but didn't quite have a magic moment haha.

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