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Thread: ex girlfriend, 24/7, bedwetting, help!

  1. #1

    Default ex girlfriend, 24/7, bedwetting, help!

    I need help, advice, just general opinions and ideas on what I can do in my current situation. I will try to explain it as simply and quickly as I can because I want help asap.

    Ok. Where to begin. Earlier this year I was dumped by my girlfriend of six years. She broke my heart. I never thought I'd feel that way about someone again. She had spent the last 2 years in nappies 24/7, I also never thought I would find someone to participate in abdl play again. Of course being 24/7 for so long meant her bladder had weakened and she began having accidents first at night in her sleep and then gradually during the day.
    When she left me, broken and alone, I begged her not to tell anybody about this side of me and she agreed she wouldn't saying it would be embarrassing for her to admit that she went along with this stuff. She said the accidents had stopped.
    She wanted to stay friends but I've never been keen on that idea and the only way I found the self worth to pull myself out of my post-dump slump was to realize how hurtful it was for her to give up on our relationship and to give up on me after six years rather than trying to work through our issues together.
    Flash forward seven months and I've moved on, stopped thinking about her and started to see the good in life (and people) again. I've even met a nice young lady and started to spend some enjoyable time with her.
    My ex texted me out of nowhere today and the message read:
    "I know you probably don't want to hear from me.. but I can't tell anyone else. After 6 months of not wetting the bed, I did this morning.. and I don't know how I feel about it"
    What does she mean? What should I do? So far I have not replied and I'm not sure I want to show her any kindness since she hurt me so badly. On the other hand I feel obliged to meet with her and sound her out.

  2. #2

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    I wouldn't read much more to it other than she feels you're still someone she can confide in. Offer her congratulations if she feels good about it, sympathy if she doesn't. You can play by ear on any sort of further communications. I know your hurting but rudeness won't make you feel better either. I went through a similar thing (diapers weren't involved) from hating her for the break up, to dying to get back together, to getting over it and being friends with her.

  3. #3

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    I would agree with willnotwill. Your ex has admitted that you likely do not want to hear from her--she knows that she hurt you. The part that is most telling is that she says 'I can't tell anyone else', saying that nobody else knows about this side of her.

    Don't take it as her trying to find some way back into your life. Instead, understand that she is conflicted inside about this, the fact that she wet the bed and doesn't really know what her feelings are. Imagine how it would be if you had an issue or secret that only one other person in this world knew about, and you needed to talk about it.

    You can either agree to talk with her, or maybe give her a place that would be another outlet for her to discuss this (ADISC might even be an option). While I understand she hurt you badly, part of being a good person is going beyond when someone hurts you and being kind to them. It's not an easy thing to do, humans like to be vengeful.

  4. #4

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    Just a thought but obviously she must have been a bedwetter when you were together. How did this affect your relationship.

  5. #5

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    Perhaps you should encourage her to come here, unless you'd rather have us to yourself that is. That would be a reasonably neutral response without being rude.

    As for her motivation, it sounds to me something like a drunk dial, ie, she's feeling alone and emotional, maybe she broke up with somebody else, so she reached out and touched you.

  6. #6

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    Look, if she just got up and left and never looked back that's harsh. One thing I realized in life, late, is take care of yourself because people will use you, step all over you and point blank shit on you. If your happy with your current GF. Don't respond to her and keep you current good relationship in good standings. There's my 2 cents!

    - - - Updated - - -

    You not responding is not being vengeful. I would move on. Don't respond. I can tell by you post that your questioning this. Don't put yourself and your emotions through that. Especially if your happy with your newGF and she's accepting. Don't ruin a good thing and cause her to be jealous.





    Quote Originally Posted by AnalogRTO View Post
    I would agree with willnotwill. Your ex has admitted that you likely do not want to hear from her--she knows that she hurt you. The part that is most telling is that she says 'I can't tell anyone else', saying that nobody else knows about this side of her.

    Don't take it as her trying to find some way back into your life. Instead, understand that she is conflicted inside about this, the fact that she wet the bed and doesn't really know what her feelings are. Imagine how it would be if you had an issue or secret that only one other person in this world knew about, and you needed to talk about it.

    You can either agree to talk with her, or maybe give her a place that would be another outlet for her to discuss this (ADISC might even be an option). While I understand she hurt you badly, part of being a good person is going beyond when someone hurts you and being kind to them. It's not an easy thing to do, humans like to be vengeful.

  7. #7

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    just play is friendly and keep going about your day, No need to be rude or burn bridges. Just offer a bit of advice and an ear.. and keep going on with life

  8. #8

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    When you show a person kindness, and they were cruel to you, that itself would be torture for them.

    Having said that, your ex girlfriend messaged you. Simply put, this is because she has no one else to turn to, to get help with her betwetting problem. So respond to her, in the capacity of helping a fellow human being. But you don't need to empathize with her, just give her raw advice.

    Don't bring up your past relationship. Don't meet up with her. Just message her back. If necessary, tell your current friend that your ex has contacted you seeking advice.

  9. #9

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    She is asking for help with something that no one else knows about. She knows this is hard on you, put yourself in her sheets and think about how hard this is for her. Give her a listening ear and the advice she needs.

  10. #10

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    I say help her. She entered a sensitive spot in life that very few people know much about. Kindness is always a good choose. think if it was you that had to leave and tried to stop bedwetting alone after it had been something you had started doing with some one else, but you didn't know how to deal with it alone.

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