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Thread: Kind of torn...

  1. #1

    Default Kind of torn...

    So I have been wearing diapers 24/7 since April and I love it!! I also have really strong desires to have my diaper checked/changed by my wife (who knows about those desires). Ive talked to her about it and she has changed me before and does not really mind it but says she doesnt really enjoy doing it either. My dilemma is do I keep asking her to do it or just not bring it up again? The desires are incredibly strong and I think about it all the time but I dont want to overbear her with it so I dont know what to do...any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!

  2. #2


    You're in a position right now most of us could only dream of having a significant other who's accepting of the fact that you're a DL and who you don't have to hide things from. She's not a DL herself, and you're just asking her to preform a chore that most non-ABDLs would consider rather disgusting... Especially if you're fully IC. I wouldn't push my luck in your situation. =\

    Hopefully you can figure out why the desire is so strong in the first place and be at peace with it.

  3. #3


    So, of course, we have no idea how much latitude you have with your wife. I think the only answer, in lieu of that, is to advise moderation. Given that she's changed you before, it doesn't seem unreasonable to request that she do it again on occasion. If she seems uncomfortable about it, though, you really ought to talk with her about it -- see if you can work out some sort of a trade. Perhaps she has some fantasy you can fulfill for her. Just be fair and reasonable.

  4. #4


    I was thinking the same as Cottontail. I don't know if diaper changing can be mixed with a night of romance? Anyway, lie Cottontail said; you know her best. Since she doesn't especially like doing it, I wouldn't ask often.

  5. #5


    dont push it, the last thing we want is for someone to feel uncomfortable during roleplay.

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Anyway, like Cottontail said; you know her best. Since she doesn't especially like doing it, I wouldn't ask often.
    Indeed. The only concern here is that he felt the need to make a thread here because he's too nervous to ask her to do it again despite an overwhelming desire for her to. The fact he had to come here to ask permission kind of suggests he knows it could turn into a problem and he wants us to tell him that because he's a DL it's a need that his wife should fulfill.

    That's why I suggested not pushing it if at all possible.

    That being said if a trade could be worked out and especially if it's done cautiously and sparingly and you know with 100% certainty you're not putting a strain on things then by all means. Not sure why you'd even make the thread in that case. o__0;

  7. #7


    Talk about it maybe, but definitely don't push it.

    There were a few threads on here from non-abdl spouses who had a partner who was overdoing it, and it put a huge strain on the relationship. iirc none of them ended particularly happily.

  8. #8


    It would probably be better to sit down with her and chat about it, rather than worry every single time you want to ask about it. Ask her what she's comfortable with, set a schedule of how often you'd like to have her change you, and offer to do schedule some time yourself to do things for her, whether that's pleasure activities with her, running errands, or whatever. Just set aside some of your time for doing what she wants, since she's setting aside some of hers for you. By setting up a schedule (with a little flexibility, perhaps), you don't have to constantly worry about it.

  9. #9


    I think you can do something and not enjoy it. She may be doing it because she loves you bu it's not a problem for her when she does it. How many things do we not mind doing? Do we enjoy doing them? Do us parents mind changing our kids diapers? Do we enjoy it? See what I am saying?

    Just make sure she isn't doing it because she feels obligated to and she is only doing it because she wants to.

  10. #10


    If you don't think you can be content without your wife's involvement in diaper play you will have to have open discussions with her about it. You will have to be careful your emotions don't go all out of control. If your wife consents to be more active in role playing it could easily become like an addiction to you where you feel like you need/want it more and more. On the other hand, if she becomes less involved, that will most likely result in you maintaining a dirty little secret that can put a strain on your marriage. Talk. If necessary see a marriage counselor. (I know I know - very awkward and difficult)

    It sounds like you have a good thing going but you aren't quite satisfied. If you want the relationship to survive you two will have to have adult conversations about this and you may have to accept that she might never be able to give you complete satisfaction. (you have to consider the possibility that no one can ever give you complete satisfaction). She may be putting up with it thinking it is just a temporary desire and that you will eventually grow out of it. If that's the case she may grow to resent it more and more.

    My ex and I engaged in diaper play early in our marriage. She changed me. I changed her. We had sex in diapers. She never enjoyed it and over time became completely disgusted with it so her involvement almost entirely stopped. My diaper desires were a major factor in our divorce many years later.

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