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Thread: Good news! :)

  1. #1

    Exclamation Good news! :)

    I am not scared of the other side of my door anymore. I don't know what is waiting for me. Knowing my dad it will be a conversation about how I am wrong about everything. He will continue to try to make me agree with him that I am pathetic and worthless. He will only drive it deeper and deeper, because that is who he is and what he does. It doesn't matter if he has been drinking or not he will still get angry when I disagree. I will always disagree with him because he is wrong. Honestly I made my mom sound horrible, sure she doesn't totally accept me, but she doesn't yell, curse, and hit me. She is the only one of that actually loves me. Recently she has even started calling me baby, or bubby. I just don't want her to not be around for him to say something to me. Yes I know it is what it sounds like, I am a mommies boy. My dad has already picked and picked away at that as well. I love my mom and she loves me, and I feel horrible for making it sound as if she hates me. I am just lost, upset, and depressed. So what, I like to collect toys, cards, games. I am gay, and yes I am a brony and an AB. But who cares, I am different and weird, but that make me unique. I know I shouldn't listen when he or anyone starts in, but I just shut down and forget everything I like about myself. It gets turned into hatred, anger, and disgust. I am a bit bigger than normal people, but that doesn't mean I want you to say it and point that out. I am sorry this is long and seems like I'm just blabbering crap, but it is the truth. My self worth is not what it should be. I don't think I am any good at drawing, and when I post something I expect it to honestly be made fun of. I have been doing a lot of thinking, self evaluation, and have come to this conclusion. Me being different, and the so called "black sheep" of the family shouldn't be the end of the world, or my own life. Me being different is a gift not a curse. I should hold myself to a higher standard than I do now. That doesn't mean I need to think and feel I am better than everyone else because I am not. I should at least feel that I am important to my friends, and to my fellow members of adisc. I should give it my all and focus on myself and be a little selfish at times when it is appropriate. I have a big heart, and I think that there is at least a little good in everyone. But, if I keep living thinking everyone has the same heart as me I am ultimately going to be disappointed and depressed. THANK YOU!! to everyone here on adisc, the nice people on deviantart, and my many inspirations on YouTube. It will take some time, but I know I can beat this and overcome it. *big group hug* <3 <3 <3

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    Katy Perry's Firework.. that is just such an amazing song right now.

  2. #2

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    So happy you're feeling better, today! I agree with what you've said, but want to add that you are amazing at drawing. When I saw something you drew my first reaction was "holy **** that guy is talented." There's no shame in loving your mother, either! It's great that you have love. It's great that you are getting some confidence in yourself and accepting yourself. That's such a big step in the right direction!! I'm so happy and proud of you!

  3. #3

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    Thanks you Frogsy *hug*

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by BronyPony14 View Post
    I am not scared of the other side of my door anymore. I don't know what is waiting for me. Knowing my dad it will be a conversation about how I am wrong about everything. He will continue to try to make me agree with him that I am pathetic and worthless. He will only drive it deeper and deeper, because that is who he is and what he does. It doesn't matter if he has been drinking or not he will still get angry when I disagree. I will always disagree with him because he is wrong. Honestly I made my mom sound horrible, sure she doesn't totally accept me, but she doesn't yell, curse, and hit me. She is the only one of that actually loves me. Recently she has even started calling me baby, or bubby. I just don't want her to not be around for him to say something to me. Yes I know it is what it sounds like, I am a mommies boy. My dad has already picked and picked away at that as well. I love my mom and she loves me, and I feel horrible for making it sound as if she hates me. I am just lost, upset, and depressed. So what, I like to collect toys, cards, games. I am gay, and yes I am a brony and an AB. But who cares, I am different and weird, but that make me unique. I know I shouldn't listen when he or anyone starts in, but I just shut down and forget everything I like about myself. It gets turned into hatred, anger, and disgust. I am a bit bigger than normal people, but that doesn't mean I want you to say it and point that out. I am sorry this is long and seems like I'm just blabbering crap, but it is the truth. My self worth is not what it should be. I don't think I am any good at drawing, and when I post something I expect it to honestly be made fun of. I have been doing a lot of thinking, self evaluation, and have come to this conclusion. Me being different, and the so called "black sheep" of the family shouldn't be the end of the world, or my own life. Me being different is a gift not a curse. I should hold myself to a higher standard than I do now. That doesn't mean I need to think and feel I am better than everyone else because I am not. I should at least feel that I am important to my friends, and to my fellow members of adisc. I should give it my all and focus on myself and be a little selfish at times when it is appropriate. I have a big heart, and I think that there is at least a little good in everyone. But, if I keep living thinking everyone has the same heart as me I am ultimately going to be disappointed and depressed. THANK YOU!! to everyone here on adisc, the nice people on deviantart, and my many inspirations on YouTube. It will take some time, but I know I can beat this and overcome it. *big group hug* <3 <3 <3

    - - - Updated - - -

    Katy Perry's Firework.. that is just such an amazing song right now.
    This is the news we've been hoping to get for days, BronyPony. I envy you for all the different skills and talents you have and you should be proud of them and be proud of yourself. Just by accepting who you are, you are standing up to your father and taking control of your life and it's the best step possible. Your father is not going to change so all you can do is change how you feel about yourself and not let him get to you.

    My father was very similar to yours and, like you, I spent much of my life feeling different and suffered from insecurity. It took many years to overcome those feelings, and to realize I wasn't all that different after all. He just made me believe I was. Your path will lead you to the same conclusion, I promise. Stop bashing yourself, stop putting yourself down so much, do the things you love, and, please... don't stop seeing the good in people even though your father has been such a miserable role model. People do respond to kind, caring people and you're one of them.

    All the best and keep these thoughts with you in the days to come. Let us know how things are going.

    Stay strong and keep on singing!
    Last edited by Starrunner; 17-Sep-2014 at 10:54.

  5. #5

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    Thank you starrunner I will keep my head up, and I will try my best to stay positive.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by BronyPony14 View Post
    Thank you starrunner I will keep my head up, and I will try my best to stay positive.
    By the way, I see you changed your signature. Great message. I like it.

  7. #7

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    Glad to hear that you're finally feeling better.

    So keep it going and use it to take care for yourself.

  8. #8

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    Well I don't know exactly how I should say this. I guess I need more time until I am 100% ready. I feel better, and have started drawing again, but I am still not ready.
    Last edited by BronyPony1418; 17-Sep-2014 at 18:23.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by BronyPony14 View Post
    Well I don't know exactly how I should say this. I guess I need more time until I am 100% ready. I feel better, and have started drawing again, but I am still not ready.
    I'm really happy to hear that you're feeling better BronyPony.

    Keep on going and prepare as long as you need to. I know you'll be able to overcome the challenges still before you.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    I'm really happy to hear that you're feeling better BronyPony.

    Keep on going and prepare as long as you need to. I know you'll be able to overcome the challenges still before you.
    Thank you *hug*

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    Quote Originally Posted by daLira View Post
    Glad to hear that you're finally feeling better.


    So keep it going and use it to take care for yourself.
    Thank you, and I will

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