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Thread: Hello from Oregon

  1. #1

    Default Hello from Oregon

    1) Hello! Who are you?
    I am currently an instructional aide for special education, I'm taking a year off from school due to finishing my pre-requisites last year and not getting into my program of choice. I work full-time and love every minute of it.

    2) What brings you here? (interest in diapers/regression)
    I am here because I recently learned that my boyfriend is an ABDL. I came to this site in hopes of learning more about all of it.

    3) Diapers do not rule our lives! What are your other interests?
    I absolutely love to read! Fiction-- mythical works are my favorite. I also enjoy writing from time to time, whether it be short stories, poems or attempted songs.
    I absolutely love video games, the Legend of Zelda is my favorite series of games. I also really enjoy watching movies and television shows.

    4) What are you looking for out of this site? What would you love to do here?
    I am mostly looking for support through this site, I am also however, looking for study material if possible. If anyone is willing to send me in the direction of reading material on the subject I would be grateful.
    I am also looking for anyone willing to teach me more about being a mommy.

  2. #2


    Hello KiwiGirl93 and welcome to the group.

    This is a very good introduction.

    There is several articles here on the site that would be a good start.

    Going through and read several of the pages of threads in Adult Baby and Diaper talk and you should see a lot of the standard areas of discussion.

    The other thing you could attempt is to Google "Paraphilia Infantilism" that should bring up Bitter Grays work and Baby Mitchy's Videos on You Tube. There is a lot of trash out there but if you wade through it you will find several good articles that explain the situation.

    Do not hesitate to ask questions in the forums, but I think you will find a lot of the basic questions if you read through first.

    Again welcome to the group from someone up in the 'Couv".

  3. #3


    Thank you so much for the suggestions! Every bit of help is appreciated right now.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiGirl93 View Post
    Thank you so much for the suggestions! Every bit of help is appreciated right now.
    Hi and welcome to the site. I worked as an instructional assistant at a junior high school for 12 years. I actually started as the assistant to IT but that department was eventually eliminated during the downturn of the economy. I was assigned to special education and since I understood the math, I was assigned to all math classes. It was a bit boring but I loved the kids. I retired from it this year and there's much I miss, but not getting up early in the morning.

    I think you will get a good understanding of who we are and what makes us tick where diapers are concerned. I know it seems weird at first, but it isn't a harmful activity. I think most of us tend to be very nice people. We appreciate the sense of peacefulness that goes with it.

    Feel free to ask questions which you can do by making threads. We always reply and we especially like those who try to support their "little ones". My wife supports me and we've been married a long time, so this can work. Anyway, welcome!

  5. #5


    Thank you! I'm not sure where to go to post questions from the mommy perspective. I guess my biggest question at this point is how to view my boyfriend as both my sexual partner and my baby... It's just a little confusing at this point. It's so new to me.

  6. #6

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiGirl93 View Post
    Thank you! I'm not sure where to go to post questions from the mommy perspective. I guess my biggest question at this point is how to view my boyfriend as both my sexual partner and my baby... It's just a little confusing at this point. It's so new to me.
    Hi KiwiGirl93 and welcome to the site!

    One thing we can tell you about ABDL is that it rests on a spectrum. Since your boyfriend is interested in having you as a mommy figure, at least some of what he wants to do is role play with you. However, many different people have different desires when role-playing. Some of them want sex and baby time to be totally separate things, others don't, and others still might be interested in some sexual role-playing while also doing non-sexual scenarios at other times.

    I think the key is find a good time when you and your boyfriend are alone together and have a conversation with him about this. Bring a notebook and a pencil and go through some of your questions. Ask him what kinds of things he'd like you to do (and if he's not sure, you two can brainstorm together). Ask him what he's not comfortable with too, and again if he has trouble thinking of things, try brainstorming ideas and going over specific scenarios together. There's no single right way to do this, it's just a matter of finding out what interests him and what you think you'd have fun doing. Also, he might be quite shy discussing all this stuff out loud, so it might take a couple conversations or some practice iteration to figure it all out, but you'll get there eventually.

    Edit: Further thought. I think you need to know the above info to determine your own views. You shouldn't do things that you're not comfortable with, so if you have difficulty transitioning from immediate babying to sexual activity, you don't need to force yourself to do that. I suggest trying to see it as different aspects of his personality that form a coherent whole. Sometimes he's your partner and a grown up, other times he's a baby for whom you're caring.

  8. #8


    I think it's hard for anyone with substantial special ed or childcare experience to "transition" from caring for 'real' children with genuine needs to providing the same sort of care for an AB. When the AB is also your sex partner, it compounds the difficulty. First, let me congratulate you for having an open mind and doing the homework required to get you to ADISC. This site is a terrific resource.

    Second, there's very little serious information on infantilism that does not pursue an agenda ... even the popular works on the topic often seem unsympathetic. You are probably wondering why your boyfriend can't just "grow up," and that's a valid question. All I can tell you is that diaperism at various levels seems "hard-wired" into the psyche of most ABs and DLs, and giving it all up for the woman we love just isn't an option. No matter how wonderful your boyfriend thinks you are as a significant other, the desire to be babied will win out.

    I think there's a three-step process involved in learning to provide the care your boyfriend needs: First, accept his needs as genuine. That's tough to do, especially since he's probably perfectly able to do everything he asks you to do. In this case, however, physical ability plays almost no part. I'd liken it to female desire for a manicure, pedicure or massage ... except that with infantilism, the desire is far more overpowering.

    Second, try to assume some degree of control over the situation. The last thing your boyfriend wants to do is beg you to diaper him. You have the chance to set the ground rules. Do so! Tell him when you're willing to "play baby" with him, what you're willing to do (and not do) and what you expect in return. The expectation aspect is particularly important; if you spend your Saturday changing diapers, the least he can do is your housework chores on Sunday. Expectation of a return on your investment of time and energy is vital to avoid developing a resentment of his infantilism.

    Finally, be willing to grow and change yourself. A good many significant others feel "pressured" to be the mommy or daddy in their own unique situations. Without the pressure aspect, you may find that you actually enjoy some of the routines involved in caring for your boyfriend. Try to think beyond the childcare situations and processes and be willing to use your imagination to devise scenarios you'll both enjoy. In other words, find the benefits to be gained while your boyfriend is playing the role of a toddler.

    I hope you realize what a rarity you are: Most of us would commit armed robbery just to have a loving and accepting partner like you. If your boyfriend doesn't appreciate the enormous gift you give him each time you care for him, I'd be surprised. Most infantilists have hearts as big as New Zealand and are happy to share them with someone who can fully embrace big baby needs.

  9. #9


    Thank you to the last two people for those posts by the way, I don't have time at the moment to personally thank you both. But your posts were so amazingly helpful. I am feeling more and more comfortable about this as I learn and talk to people. Please please keep teaching me and talking to me about your opinions and suggestions on the matter!
    You all are amazing, my boyfriend also appreciates your help. He is noticing how much more comfortable I am becoming.

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