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Thread: Anybody feel bad for pedophiles? Hear me out

  1. #1

    Default Anybody feel bad for pedophiles? Hear me out

    Before anybody goes apeshit, hear me out. I'm not a pedophile, and I think it's horrible. However, just like we have a strange attraction to diapers and/or acting like a baby they have a strange attraction to younger children. They didn't choose to be a pedophile anymore than I chose to have a diaper fetish.
    I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE PEDOPHILES WHO ACT ON THEIR FEELINGS
    If they act on their feelings and have sexual interaction with a child that is obviously not ok at all. I'm just talking about how they have these feelings from birth and have to suppress them. We have a forum board like this to talk about our fetish and people tell their spouses without too much worry. If they have a forum board it would probably get taken down and the IP addresses of the users would be monitored. Again, not trying to connect AB/DL to pedophile, just something I've thought about

  2. #2

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    There is a massive difference between a pedophile and a child molester… I absolutely feel bad for pedophiles. Once you cross the line though… I stop feeling bad.

  3. #3

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    Yes I do feel sorry for them too. They didn't ask for it. Lot of people don't know what a pedophile is so there is a big huge bad stigma to it. Yes some of them do offend and sexually abuse the child but not all of them do.

  4. #4

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    No I don't feel bad for them. Serial killers hard wired like pedophiles and show alot of the same traits in hunting and fanticizing their victims should I feel sorry for them? The way I see it they are acting out and fanticising about children weather or not there is physical contact. It is still preditory behavior either way you look at it. If they daydream and sexualize kids it can easily lead into fapping over their computer to kiddy porn, which is a horrible ring of abuse. At that point what is keeping them from the next step? I see pedophiles like givng a toddler a gun, you dont know how it will end but it will probably make the news.

    I will say I respect the ones who come forward and seek professional help on their own before a young one is hurt.

  5. #5

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    This thread has potential to go off the rails quickly, thus I'd urge those participating to do so tactfully.

  6. #6

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    The thing about any deeply inscribed emotional pull is that, as the OP said, it is fixed not by the intentional will of the person having the need but by something else, whether it is biological, chemical, traumatic, sociological, psychological or what have you. No one ever, in the history of the world, has awaked in the morning and suddenly thought, "Oh, I know what would be fun: I think I'll start being attracted to small children." No one--no one--especially in our modern world, would ever desire that attraction. That pedophiles exist at all is evidence that their urges cannot be helped. Still, as OP also says, acting upon those urges is an entirely different kettle of fish.

    A person with an attraction to the same sex hurts no one when he or she acts upon that desire. A person who knows within his or her soul that a gender error has been made also hurts no one in acting to correct that error. A person with a fetishistic attraction to any object whatsoever (including diapers) hurts no one by acting upon it. A person who feels the need to seek comfort by age play hurts no one by acting upon it. But a person who is attracted to young children? If that person acts upon his or her desire, someone else is indeed hurt. Badly. And that is what makes pedophilia such a terrible, terrible thing. And that is why I do feel sorry for those afflicted with it, for their urges are as inescapable as any of the others I have mentioned, yet they dare not act to assuage them.

    This article, posted a few weeks ago in Huffington Post, articulates this very issue perfectly. It tells the story of a teenage pedophile who, hating what he is, sought to help himself and found that there was no forum to do so; thus he created one for himself and others like him.

    Our society detests and fears pedophiles with a paranoia bordering on insanity. Even here, in a forum dedicated to people with a lifestyle choice most would deem at least odd if not completely incomprehensible, we would likely find loud voices condemning them, our own (understandable) fears of association with them being so considerable. But when high school kids sext each other and authorities call that pedophilia, something has gone completely out of whack. When a school authority figure--as happened here---has an affair with a 17-year-old student, he is arrested and called a pervert and a sex offender and a pedophile, and that is insane. He's an idiot who should be fired and never again allowed near a school building, but a pedophile? For a seventeen year old?

    We have lost our collective minds. A pedophile is someone attracted to small children, and we dilute the importance of the message, the significance of the fight against the horrible crime of acting on this desire, when we conflate it with all of the other crap it has been conflated with. Kids in high school are thrown together in a confined space for four years while their hormones are going wild, and no one even complains about a senior dating a freshman or sophomore until: oh my God you're 18 now...you could be a felon!!! Give me a break.

    I've rambled. I'm sorry. My point is that we as a society tend to be very, very confused and overly sensitive to the notion of pedophilia. And people who suffer from this affliction need help, not malice. And that is a thing that, at this juncture, no one seems able or willing to give it to them.

  7. #7

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    I've posted about this before, but here's my thought on the matter. People have all sorts of strange desires. That's fine. For those people who suffer because their desires can't be fulfilled, like someone who feels a sexual attraction to young children, I feel horrible. I have some (though limited) ability to empathize with that person's unfulfilled desires, and there must be an incredible tension between physical urges and their sense of right and wrong.

    However, I also think in the case of pedophilia that the answer is crystal clear: do not hurt children. It's deeply, deeply wrong. And as strong as the body's urges can be, the mind is stronger. People have willpower, they can choose not to follow their urges and emotions. And when it comes to pedophilia, they have to make that choice. Someone who chooses the other way and actually harms a child has done an awful, monstrous act.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by incontinentGM24 View Post
    There is a massive difference between a pedophile and a child molester… I absolutely feel bad for pedophiles. Once you cross the line though… I stop feeling bad.
    I continue to feel bad. Stigmatizing the problem prevents a person from getting treatment and sets them up to do something regrettable. Unfortunately, pedophiles molesting children is to an extent a product of the way we stigmatize pedophilia- an a forseeable one. I can have empathy for the situation that created the crime without excusing it- and frankly, unless we agree to understand it, we'll never adequately fix it.



    Quote Originally Posted by ICkaraokegirl View Post
    When a school authority figure--as happened here---has an affair with a 17-year-old student, he is arrested and called a pervert and a sex offender and a pedophile, and that is insane. He's an idiot who should be fired and never again allowed near a school building, but a pedophile? For a seventeen year old?
    What should really drive you crazy is the fact that in most the world, there's nothing illegal about an adult having sex with a person as young as 16. In some areas the fact it's a person with authority over the younger person is a legal issue, but one independent of the age difference.

  9. #9

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    Yup. Here in NZ the age of consent is 16. In Germany I believe it's fourteen, or that might be for drinking. I also feel truly sorry for pedophiles, it's an unfortunate and unenviable situation in which to be.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by KiwiBoi View Post
    Yup. Here in NZ the age of consent is 16. In Germany I believe it's fourteen, or that might be for drinking. I also feel truly sorry for pedophiles, it's an unfortunate and unenviable situation in which to be.
    At 16 one is allowed to buy beer in Germany, boose is 18. Age of sexual consent is, just like most parts of Europe, 16.

    somebody from 16-18 is heavily protected though, once there is even the slightest possibility of no consent the other person has a huge problem.

    But consider this, it's not uncommon for someone 18/19 years to have a relation with someone who is 16. Girls tend to develop faster than guys do, and girls usually also prefer older man.

    What I do worry about is the problem people don't really know what a pedophile is. A pedophile is a person who is attracted to children, not teenagers, that's a whole different concept with another name. So a pedophile is not going out with a 16 year old. Because that's not a pedophile.






    Quote Originally Posted by AEsahaettr View Post
    What should really drive you crazy is the fact that in most the world, there's nothing illegal about an adult having sex with a person as young as 16. In some areas the fact it's a person with authority over the younger person is a legal issue, but one independent of the age difference.
    I see no need to turn the age of consent to 18 or older. If a 17 year old boy wants to have a relation with a 40 year old women, well whatever floats his boat. Unlike some parts of the world we don't try to enforce or control each others life, we don't have that collective hysteria, we let each other live based on mutual respect and however one wants to, not how I want anybody to live, nor do I judge them that way.

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