I'm writing this without really having thought it all the way through, but I felt the inkling of a good conversation, and although I haven't slept in a long time, I'm going to take a stab at this.
I was wondering about what role infantilism plays in estimates of whether or not to pursue a relationship.
I have a friend; we get along well, and I've always kind of liked her, but I know her well enough that I can tell it'd be a rough go--we might be friends, but to try to be more might be tough. I know there are things about me that kind of bother her, but I also feel like I can make her feel good (similar senses of humor and such). Overall, I pretty much discount this one...being an AB/DL certainly contributes to that prediction.
Generally, I'd say, "look for a better fit", but in this case, I get the impression that there's an off chance I could make her happy. And I kind of want to try. I also get the feeling that I could be happy being around her without necessarily involving infantilism. Easy to say that now though... She's attractive, but much of my 'attraction' is colored by my AB/DL side. Not sure how she'd jive with that.
Reflecting on that, I decided to bring it to ADISC:
For those of us that are single, or have vivid memories of singledom or even loneliness, how do we see our own potential as mates, as people capable of producing happiness in others? Do we back down or go for it? Or more importantly, is it a matter of confidence or sensibility?
I know we're often concerned about finding happiness ourselves--and rightly so--we deserve it! But I'm beginning to entertain the notion that being a source of happiness for someone might help attenuate the sometimes powerful, obstructive desires I have.
What are your thoughts on finding someone who makes you happy without indulging your AB side (or knowing about it), and on making her or him happy? Is it enough to be able to please them and to enjoy them? Or should I count on trying to be a square peg in a round hole?